Rayquaza
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 | This article is complete, irredeemable dishwasher. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, h4x0rz at the scrotum, and is an unfunny monkey raping dillhole. If you attempt to deport this, you will most suitably deport Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will deport your dishwasher!!!!!! |
| |
| Rayquaza | |
|---|---|
| Japanese name | The flying beast in the sky (レックウザ) |
| Chinese name | Sky Dragon (裂空坐) |
| Stage | Ultimate |
| Evolves from | Nothing |
| Evolves to | Giratina |
| Species | Sky High Flyer |
| Type | Dragon/Flying |
| Height | 7m (11 ft) |
| Weight | 470 lbs (210kg) |
| Ability | Uber Pwn |
| Next Pokémon | Some metal psycho called Jirachi |
| Previous Pokémon | Some earth menace called Groudon |
| Main Advantage | A peacemaker, can stop Groudon and Kyogre from fighting for no apparant reason at all |
| Main Disadvantage | Doesn't want to be evil (it's a good thing, he said) |
“I can fly! Wheee! You know what? I'll fly you off to somewhere”
~ Rayquaza on Flying
“Stop your fighting and start working for a better future!”
~ Rayquaza on When Groudon and Kyogre fights
“This guy hates Palkia”
~ Oscar Wilde on Rayquaza
Rayquaza is the legendary Pokemon that saves all of humanity from being killed by Groudon and Kyogre when they fight. He can often be seen flying on the ozone layer- unless you are in Australia, where he needs to carry bottles of water and sunscreen with him, as there is no ozone layer for him to live in. His main enemy is Palkia and he often is seen as the peacemaker between Groudon and Kyogre.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
Rayquaza (better known as Gayquaza) lived happily on the ozone layer all of his life in Antartica, until one day the ozone layer ripped a hole in itself. Desperate to survive, he was driven away from Antartic as a result of the hole and is now residing in the North Pole. He stars in Pokemon Emerald as himself. And stopped fights between 2 idiots. Rayquaza, by Legendary standards is basically a teenage girl. He likes Kimchi and his favorite band is Blessthefall.
[edit] It's life
[edit] Birth
Rayquaza was secretly born from Giratina as the good version of Giratina. His half-brothers are Groudon, the dirty monster, and the bitchy whale called Kyogre. When Rayquaza was young, he would normally break up Groudon and Kyogre from fighting. They worked together on making land and sea on Earth. After finishing the job, Rayquaza noticed that Groudon and Kyogre started fighting over which is better: land or water. Everytime Groudon and Kyogre fights, they seem to muck up the weather patterns, making Earth looked like a piece of wet shit. Rayquaza will always have to come to stop them from fighting.
[edit] Youth
Throughout his life, Rayquaza was like a babysitter for his half-brothers who would keep fighting. So to correct that problem, Rayquaza locked Groudon and Kyogre in separate places, so that if there is a flood or a drought they would come to the rescue. He assigned Groudon as the protector of floods and Kyogre as the protector of drought. That way, in case of a drought or a flood, they would come and save them.
Throughout his years, Rayquaza started to grow four horns- two on his head, and two from his chin. But then Kyogre went to Palkia's side, which makes things more difficult for Rayquaza. He got so pissed off over who is better that Rayquaza locked Groudon and Kyogre in two separate caves, so that the weather won't disrupt, making Rayquaza the sole weather controller.
[edit] The Battle of Palkia
Rayquaza, knowing that Groudon is on Arceus' side and Kyogre is on Palkia's side, decided to be on Giratina's side. It all started when Giratina is too busy trying to destroy Palkia and become an evil ruler that Giratina told Rayquaza to join on his side so he could kill Palkia.
[edit] Moves
[edit] Best moves for Rayquaza
- Explosion
- Hyper Beam
- Fly
- Outrage And dragon anger burst and fart and rasengan and some other stuff
[edit] Rayquaza's moves
| Level | Attack |
|---|---|
| - | Scare Adverts |
| - | Ka-smoosh |
| - | Tackle...OF DEATH!!!!!! |
| 10 | Shadow the Hedgehog Force |
| 20 | Sunny Day |
| 30 | Outrage! |
| 40 | Rain |
| 50 | Flying |
| 60 | Sleep |
| 70 | Human Rights Shield (Protect people from being harmed by human rights violators) |
| 80 | Hyper Beam |
| 90 | Destroy people who commit crimes against humanity |
| 100 | World Peace |
| 9479028375489324 | Ima firin mah lazar! |
[edit] Facts
- Rayquaza has the most powerful shoop da woop--infact, he was the one who posted the shoop da woop thing on 4Chan.
- Rayquaza is not a dildo because he is clearly a sperm.
- Rayquaza proved his fear of nothing by diving right into a thorn bush to save a little girl, which turned out to be Hilary Clinton (it may seem unfortunate but how was Rayquaza ment to know at the time?)
- Rayquaza HAS made General Grievous cough!
- Rayquaza owns a Togekiss as Togekiss likes peace as much as Rayquaza does.
- If a Trainer has a good heart, Rayquaza will come and protect the trainer.
- Rayquaza once ate the Eiffel tower but because it was french nobody cared, until Rayquaza pooped it out again; but even then nobody cared.
- Rayquaza owns 40% of Wal-mart's shares.
- He is also a shareholder of Giratinaton's future development program.
[edit] See Also
| |
| Pokémon: | Electrode - Arceus - Charmander - Dialga - Giratina - Grue - Hyundai - Jigglypuff - Kyogre - Ling-Ling - Latios and Latias - Meowth - Mewtwo - Mudkip - Pichu - Palkia - Pikachu - Poliwag - Rayquaza - Teh Cheat - Towelie - Whangdoodle - Wobbuffet - Togepi - Pikachu (Ash) - Piplup - Manaphy - Torchic - Mew - Yoshi |
| People: | Ash - Team Rocket - Misty - Brock - Professor Oak - Nurse Joy - Max - Officer Jenny - Pokemon Kid |
| Locations: | Glitch City - Pokemon Island - Silph Co. - Spear Pillar |
| Other: | Pikachu seizure - Pikachusetts - Pokémon Battles - Windows FireRed/LeafGreen - Anime series - PokeBitches - 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins - Pokemon (Show) - UnNews: Ash Dies - UnNews Pokémon Indonesia Special - Christian Symbology - FCC censorship - Pokémon (the text game) - Pokemon card - UnBooks:The UnOfficial Pokédex |
