Raymond Terrace, New South Wales

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m

Revision as of 10:41, August 30, 2012

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Newcastle?
RaymondTerrace1
Bogans being bogans after they burnt their house down in an attempt to raise money from the local community because they're bogans.

Raymond Terrace is a medieval town full of bogans located just outside of Newcastle and near the even more medieval town of Medowie (Although we don't talk about Medowie much). The town was founded by some pommy named Raymond, and the locals have yet to find any Terrace to speak of. The local council, who discriminate relentlessly against scooter riders and skateboarders, are based in Raymond Terrace, but nobody's really sure why as they think their council is only in Nelson Bay, resulting in the rest of their areas being neglected and turned into the shit hole it is.

Population

The local folk are an ancient Aboriginal tribe named the Terrecians, and their allies are the closely related tribe of the Novocastrians. There's a population of about 15,000 of these, with only small groups of people breaking away from the typical bogan characteristics. Most of them live in the area usually called Lakeside, which is full of retards and fireman. The rest of the population live in Brown Street (insert witty insult about deros here) or Riverview Ridge, where the rich people live.

Landmarks

RaymondTerrace2
Some lazy cunts fishing from their banged up piece of shit ute on the river.
Hunter River - Most of the Aboriginals come here to catch their dinner. Occasionally you'll get some rubbish on your hook. The Aboriginals also eat this for dinner.

Youthie - Where the future council workers begin their lives, the Raymond Terrace youthie(s) are the shittiest places in the whole town, and are populated by 14 year old twats who have nothing better to do then go play pool with other twats. If you go to any of these youthies, you're a dero and should not even have an internet connection. Or maybe your're at the...

Library - The books here rarely get used (except for the occasionally cook-book and Twilight books, which are borrowed by the local population of twi-fags). There's also a single computer which was made in 1986 that some of the local Aboriginals try to use. They usually end up punching the monitor though, as it's much too hard for them.

Shopping Centre - Populated by ferret-faced security guards, the local shopping centre is right in the middle of town. Inside are a whole bunch of stores, mainly run by people who live outside of Raymond Terrace (The Aboriginals would rob their houses as they make more then $50 a week). There's another shopping centre that is populated by old people who haven't been fucked to alter their memories to remember where the new shops are. The only reason younger people go there is for the Darby Pies shop.

Police Station - The most active and most used building by staff and local community members alike, the Port Stephens Local Command police station, which is based in the old gym, is staffed by overweight donut eating cops. Every single member of Raymond Terrace has had atleast one visit to this building, although some have been known to visit it a fuckton more then the regular local.

Court House - The second most used part of Raymond Terrace, the court house is where dickheads who had a one night stand with some ugly fuck council worker file for their divorces, fucking up their Aboriginal child's life and subsequently losing all their money to hire a Soliciter to use at the Court House. Dickheads.

Port Stephens Council

Located in the middle of town and staffed by staff that are such pussies that they need to build their chambers directly behind the police station. This council enjoys leaving potholes in the roads and making big deals about little things. Most of the deros that live in Brown Street could do a better job than these upper-class snobs who'd rather bitch about their issues and waste time writing in articles for the local newspaper rather then do their job properly.

RaymondTerrace4
Pretty good photo for some 30 year old bitchy bogan.

Things to do

Smoke weed at the skatepark

Smoke weed at the shops

Smoke weed at mates house

Smoke weed at maccas

Smoke weed down the river

Smoke weed in mates car

Get raped at the duckpond

Get raped at maccas

Suck some hoes dick

RaymondTerrace3
Some P plater dickwads making their shitty car 10x more shitty by crashing it into some Aboriginal's house.

Music

Nobody in Raymond Terrace can afford musical instruments, so many of the local revert to using makeshift instruments, such as shoelaces (which are very cheap here) and rubber bands (they come with the local newspapers). As a result of the shitty music scene, no music is ever made from Raymond Terrace and due to nobody being able to afford music players, no music is played, resulting in fuck all of a music scene and a bad place for bands to play live. (If that isn't bad enough, imagine all the Aboriginals who'd try to get in for free!)

Recent Events

Bricks thrown at police attending accident - The local fatcunt coppa's responded to reports of a car accident on one of the main roads, when all of a sudden a large crowd of (what are suspected to be) Aboriginals jumped out from a bush and attacked the cop cars with bricks and shit. None of the cops were hurt, which is a shame. They tried to flee the attacks but were unable to move due to their own centres of gravity weighing them down.

Personal tools
projects