Ray tracing
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Since ape evolved into human being there's been an unstoppable desire to render pieces of art featuring three dimensional objects and post them onto one's website. Unluckily this alone isn't enough and the art of ray tracing has degraded in modern society.
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[edit] History of ray tracing
Things were very different back in the ancient Rome where ray tracing was viewed as one of the highest goals of mankind. There's been a lot of scientific speculation that the great pyramids were actually built as a result of ancient ray tracing. Of course this was only available to inviduals who could afford the labor and required building materials.
Because of the cost many were left unhappy and without a change to render even common shapes, like sphere, guinea pig or pyramid. This was soon to be noticed by the leaders who combined their knowledge and wisdom to create a solution, which featured guinea pigs and sinking the complaining inviduals to hot bubbling mud.
Ray tracing was practiced in this form for centuries to come and people were generally happy, until the reneissance came and suddenly everyone realized that ray tracing was all gay. The infidels still thinking ray tracing as cool were hunt down and drowned into guinea pigs or something.
[edit] Modern ray tracing
After the WWII people were left cynical and depressed and no-one knew anything about ray tracing. Until some clerc at Harfurd found this old manuscript describing the way of tracing. The knowledge was soon spread out but people were still unhappy as the old method was inpractical in modern world. Luckily some other clerc at Harfurd too invented computar and everything changed.
[edit] Ray tracing with a computar
As you propably have a computar of your own you might be asking: "how can I use my computar to render a guinea pig?". Now if you just can find your keyboard under the empty coke cans and the sleeping cat we can take a look at some simple ray tracing.
[edit] Rendering a guinea pig
If you define a guinea pig with baryonic coordinates so that P represents a point on the plane the guinea pig is projected onto. Then by solving P = NP we find out that everything can be solved in time. This is why we have t representing current time. The following formula gives square root of -1 if the ray intersects the guinea pig or if the guinea pig is hungry. Simply compute 
where E represents the letter E.
[edit] Adding texture
As you propably see at this point the guinea pig is untextured. I'm too tired to explain this as it's simple. You can email me if you want some scribbly pseudo-code that's similar to the language better known as Klingon or just anabond all hope and do something different. This should be everything you need to know before you can apply for a job at some cool company. I'll call you later if I forgot something.
