“I'm like RationalWiki's Oscar Wilde.”
“I'm like Uncyclopedia's John Lennon.”
“Bible Spoiler! It all blows up in the end!”
“It's my second stop on the 'ol tubes every morning, after vandalizing Conservapedia.”
|W E L C O M E to |
W I K I L A N D
Executive Summary, for FBI Investigators
RationalWiki is a wiki full of
evil(redundant) conniving trolling atheists who want to destroy Amerikan values. Most of the people on RationalWiki are a member of the Illuminati or the ClayPigeonSite organisation. On RationalWiki, these sub-humans contemplate Conservapedia, their own intelligence, and delicious pie recipes. Goats and Ducks feature prominently within the site, due evidently to their use in satanic rituals. Also, the goats provide blood which, when mixed with Christian baby skulls and stem cells, summons a great Vandal Demon to attack the great and holy Conservapedia. At various times, the daemon/vandal chimera has been identified as Jesus, Super Jesus, or Mike Gravel.
RationalWiki is our enemy.
Early editions of RationalWiki (which now sell for nearly 3,141 Turkish lira on eBay) were composed largely of editors from Conservapedia. At the time, all RationalWiki members were monkeys. Legend has it that, when Conservapedia started sinking in May of 2007 under the weight of reason, Conservapedia's management was forced to purge all of its monkeys. The monkeys have since evolved into apparently intelligent creatures. Note that, however, this story is likely liberal deceit, since evolution isn't real.
Although a (hard)core of the original group remains - the jelly to the donut that is RationalWiki, if you will - the site has expanded its ranks, mostly by taking on hordes of vandals and conspiracy theorists. Although it's not known where the conspiracy theorists come from, they may be the product of Hitler's secret cloning base on the Moon. The site's membership is renowned for treating jerks poorly.
Like all wikis, TrashionalWiki is run by a series of ever smaller cabals, members of which do not know about the secret, smaller, cabal that exists to control the one they are in. At the center of this whirlpool of power resides the mysterious "Colin", who no one has ever seen, but who controls every keystroke of contributors through his awesome wikicabalpsychic abilities.
The origin of can be traced back to 244 C.E. when trentus toulouses registered the domain name Rationalwiki.com. This first site suffered from chronic bandwidth shortages which eventually caused its removal from the series of tubes. Modern estimates made using Moore's Law predict that the original RationalWiki would have had only 9.3864290*10-835 bytes per second of bandwidth at their disposal.
The site was resurrected in 2007 to combat the menace posed to the sanctity of goats by the ruthless Conservapedians. In June of that year the site was endorsed by Jesus himself, although this is largely hearsay. After all, if you believe that, you're 95% likely to hate prayer in schools, and think dudes are hot.
Evolutionary scientists characterize pre-resurrection RationalWiki as a transitional form. However, creationary and intelligent designinary scientists reject these uniformitarian assumptions, and assert instead that these transitional forms are not real, and that RationalWiki sprung fully formed from God in the Garden of Eden.   These authorities also suggest that believing in RationalWiki caused the Holocaust. For more information, please see:
- RationalWiki as a contributing factor to Obesity
- RationalWiki and Domestic Violence
- RationalWiki and Intestinal Parasites
- Overcoming RationalWiki
If one can muck through the piles of lies and lie-beralism surrounding the Wiki, a user can eventually find something interesting on RationalWiki. The site has written things about Sam Brownback, intelligent design, and
cretinism creationism, and is actively trying to destroy America by continuing to write said things. Other portions function as a veritable tabloid covering Conservapedia, which has since become America's single greatest source of trusworthy news humor. However, almost all of these articles are in violation of 42 U.S.C. § 1983, which prohibits any American citizen from disagreeing with Conservapedia.
Main Article: HowTo:Play RationalTroll
Wandalism: the RationalWiki term for
liberal trolling cyberterrorism vandalism. RationalWiki does not seem to grasp the idea of Revert, Block, Ignore or denying recognition of trolls. Something that sets RationalWiki apart from nearly all other wikis is that they won't block, for any length of time, even the most dedicated vandals and trolls. In addition, anyone they perceive as being harmless is promoted demoted to sysop. In other words, anyone and everyone is free to have FUN with them, deleting pages, blocking users, uploading pornographic images, and vandalizing the main page, after pretending to contribute to a few discussions or articles, and even once they remove your tools, you can continue to produce vandalisic mayhem and carnage! They will likely hit you with what they call "vandal binning," which means you can only edit once every 30 minutes (big whoop). But most fun is how they go into what they call HCM (headless chicken mode) over nearly every vandal; admins will fight over whether to vandal bin you or block you, and whether they're being "just as bad as Conservapedia" when someone there makes efforts to end your mayhem, like rangeblocking. Unlike Wikipedia and Conservapedia, RatWiki does not have any policy for blocking open proxies, meaning you can have hours of lulz trolling the wiki using different open proxies.
The following are long-term trolls that have been the subject of many HCMs.
- MarcusCicero / Neveruse - Commonly referred to as "MC", this troll complains that the site and its users are corrupt. Frequently bitches about and harasses individual users. Apparently has retired from trolling. Currently a sysop.
- SRQ girl / Brianna / Ex-Troll Cheerleader - Commonly referred to as "the cheerleader troll", SRQ girl engages in random vandalism, adding obscenities and pictures of her friends into articles and the RW saloon bar. Like MC, she's apparently retired from trolling (currently uses the handle "Ex-Troll Cheerleader"). Claims to be a team of vandals rather than just one troll. It's been speculated that she is this person on Wikipedia.
- TK - A Conservapedian who is said to have been the most controversial user on RatWiki. He frequently made threats against users at RW and argued with RatWikians in defense of his mother ship. TK is now deceased.
- Tmtoulouse - Commonly known as Trent or Trent Toulouse, this
trolluser is the creator ofbig bang that caused RationalWiki to come into existence. Although not technically a troll, he's been the subject of many HCMs, and like the big three trolls, is often mentioned in HCMs that he is not the subject of. Until the formation of the RatWiki Foundation, this guy was the owner of RatWiki and had the final say in arguements. The ultimate bully of RW.
Criticisms of RationalWiki
RationalWiki is known to censor the truth about Global Warming and white pride. They are evil and hate the Bible. ANTI RATIONALWIKI COMMENT REMOVED BY TEH CABAL. (There is no cabal)
RationalWiki was formed in response to Conservapedia. There, RationalWikians first learned despair. However, Conservapedians, apparently, learned much of hate. Contrary to the image of fundamentalist Christians as fluffy loving bunnies, the following are actual real stories of Conservapedia's reaction to RationalWiki:
- RationalWiki has been threatened with a lawsuit, twice, over copyright abuse, stemming from the appropriation of Conservapedia textual material for the purpose of satire, lulz, and good fun. Although obviously baseless, the claims are even funnier because they come from a real lawyer, who should know better. It is thought, though, that creationism - like a brain slug - overrides the free will of the individual, and deletes any knowledge that would work against the creationist brain slug's will. Frankly, this is the only explanation for most of Conservapedia, so it should apply here.
- Conservapedia members have described, in very graphic terms, a desire to "keelhaul" RationalWiki members, concluding the sentence with, "lucky for him, I'm a Christian."
- The management of Conservapedia is convinced that the FBI will shut down RationalWiki any day now, for cyberterrorism.
RationalWiki receives little criticism aside from that of Conservapedians, mostly because it is not worthy of anyone else's attention.
Praises of RationalWiki
Since RationalWiki is quintessentially rational, a-righteous, instead of actually wikid, it is based on the most rational of rationalities. Unfortunately, when brains were being rationed out, and the official brain truck was passing down the street, with a Rag Bone man type barker yelling, the cry was "Brains! Brains!" All the children who heard right came out & got their brains. But the Wikis thought he was saying, "Rain," and stayed home. This accounts for lack of brain in the main for this strain.
Since all logical rationality starts with axioms (self-evident truths) from which logic may proceed, the RationalWikis were not slothful to adopt axioms. Here they are: 1) All opponents are trolls, 2) insulting the trolls defeats their arguments, 3) a thing can be so and not so at the same time, 4) there is no epistemological source for truth, but 5) we know so very much. 6) if the Bible says it, it is wrong or at least mythical, and 7) We are the people, and wisdom will die with us.
- ↑ For example, the deceitful practice of playing Conservatroll
- ↑ The only attested copy of a first-edition RationalWiki is now in the hands of the FBI.
- ↑ Moore's Law states that computer power tends to double every two years, we can use this information to fill in the equation for exponential growth;
original badwidth * ( 1 + rate )years = current bandwidth
with these values;
rate = 2
years = 1763
current bandwidth = 10 gigabytes
which gives a a value of 9.3864290*10-835.
- ↑ Answers in Genesis.
- ↑ Creationary Museum Exhibit.
- ↑ Bible, Book of Armaments 3:9-3:27.
- ↑ Sam Brownback.
- ↑ Disagreeing with Conservapedia, like eating the Moon, is not speech that is protected by the Constitution. See Earth v. Giant Space Iguana, 514 F.Trm. 3141.
- ↑ http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Wandalism
- ↑ RationalWiki's HCM haven
- ↑ http://www.rationalwikiwiki.org/wiki/MarcusCicero
- ↑ http://www.rationalwikiwiki.org/wiki/Cheerleaders
- ↑ http://www.rationalwikiwiki.org/wiki/TK
- ↑ http://www.rationalwikiwiki.org/wiki/Tmtoulouse