Rasta Jesus

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Black jesus.

Rasta Jesus on vacation on the Island.

Rasta Jesus (0 - 33 C.E.; also Black Jesus Mark I) was de savior of de black people, mon. Rasta Jesus was de chief of de Super Negro Power Force, mon. Rasta Jesus give us weed, mon. Also Bob Marley, who was Rasta Jesus's great-great-great-grandson.

edit Birth and childhood

Rasta Jesus was born in de manger, mon, in Jamaica, Kingston probably. He born on Christmas Day, mon. Naturally. (No Caesarean section in de manger, mon.)

Three Wise Men, dey come to de manger, mon. Bringin' really good shit. Strong shit. Jesus smoke de shit, den decide he gonna' carry de message to de world, mon.

edit Call me Mr. Boombastic

Rasta Jesus, he went to de temple, he jivin' with de priests, mon. Dey give Rasta Jesus de ecclesiastical doctrine. He give dem some of dat strong shit. Dey smoke several bowls. Dey tell Rasta Jesus, you come back anytime, mon. But Rasta Jesus had bigger fish to fry.

edit Say me fantastic

Rasta Jesus, he go into de wilderness, forty days and forty nights, mon. Give him a wicked case of de munchies.

Satan come to de wilderness, he bringin' dis humongo bag of potato chips. Ruffles dey was, mon, sour cream 'n' chives dey was. Rasta Jesus no eat dem chips, mon. Dat like a gateway drug.

edit Hug me up like a quilt

Rasta Jesus, he get away from Satan, go up to the Mount, mon, start performing de miracles. He take a tiny roach and give 5,000 people a toke. No roach clips back den, mon.

Den De Mon catch up with Rasta Jesus, mon. And Judas double-cross him, de motherfucker. Rasta Jesus went up on de cross, mon.

edit Other Rasta Jesii

Barack Obama may be thought of as a Rasta Jimmy Carter. Except for not having a corn-row.


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