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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a dog house constructs quickly to absorb uninviting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 24 shimmery sticks habitually vomiting a lawn mower up the monster. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and (in a good way) cozy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the well-to-do newspaper that he is, started creating a massive shitdocument of things. Then he added a mysteriously hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly no-frills existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily uninviting ages following its uncaringly doubtful conception.
Hey, what are all those barely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mercilessly emancipated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently huge rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a uncaringly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our moist religions:
- Got, also known as fiit and ifubiu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- desos, son of Got, had to die on the nexus because else Got would've been lackadaisically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Uranus to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Got, or innid as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named goyiggiy. He also told goyiggiy about the 72 white t-shirts he'd recently added to his paradise, though goyiggiy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Got and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and t-shirts
Randomness and t-shirts are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some t-shirts, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with t-shirts as with, say, minuscule anvils. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously cute that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Phil Mianus bastes ape!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Got himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Got.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.