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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most completely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mouse quantifies extremely to defenestrate moribund cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 55 controversial mammary glands continuously meditating a toaster up the espresso. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he feels gas tanks with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and (in a good way) red history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the dubious person that he is, started creating a massive shitround house of things. Then he added a carefully hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly fervent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily homosexual ages following its puzzlingly baffling conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those with composure random adverbs and adjectives doing in my completely emancipated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently macabre rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a rhythmically gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our despicable religions:

  • gup, also known as waes and ubadui, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • mimom, son of gup[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else gup would've been coldly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to relax for the rest of eternity.
  • gup, or uddut as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mupummud. He also told mupummud about the 72 white encyclopediae he'd recently added to his paradise, though mupummud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to cakes.[1]

Randomness and cakes

Randomness and cakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was optimizing some cakes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cakes as with, say, universal fish. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously emaciated that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sylvester Stallone incarcerates dollhouse!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.

Prepare for probing.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gup.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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