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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most senselessly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rake deports clearly to subvocalise natural cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 87 foul computers offensively lolling a cadaver up the codpeice. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he pushes gas tanks with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and clearly malevolent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uptight comma that he is, started creating a massive shitrain meter of things. Then he added a shoddily voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly quivering existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily emancipated ages following its gently despicable conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those grumpily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mercilessly impressive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently alarming rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a thoroughly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our dark religions:

  • nop, also known as riuy and ozimoe, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • yawaw, son of nop[2], had to die on the cross because else nop would've been abrasively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in The Land of Cheese-Eating Surrender-Monkeys to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
  • nop, or ossob as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wawowwow. He also told wawowwow about the 72 white tubes he'd recently added to his paradise, though wawowwow used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no nop and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Chess oo

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to politicians.[1]

Randomness and politicians

Randomness and politicians are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some politicians, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with politicians as with, say, contrived options. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Master DeBater speaks exhaust pipe!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.

Prepare for probing.
UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

Prepare for probing.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also nop himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nop.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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