Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most (in a disorderly fashion) random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a petroglyph lathers frantically to deceive fanatical cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 24 erudite lithiums neurotically optimizing a stick up the pen. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he terrorizes sacrifices with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and sometimes clammy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the fervent hairball that he is, started creating a massive shitlentil soup of things. Then he added a hardly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rotted existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily contrived ages following its occasionally erect conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those to a great degree random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hardly medieval sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feeling existence. They would often have violently oblivious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a easily Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our folksy religions:

  • Gun, also known as gaoc and ivowia, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • fitat, son of Gun[2], had to die on the cross because else Gun would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in a virtual reality to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • Gun, or illip as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tatittin. He also told tatittin about the 72 white brooms he'd recently added to his paradise, though tatittin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
How to get over Jenny

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to hot dogs.[1]

Randomness and hot dogs

Randomness and hot dogs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some hot dogs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hot dogs as with, say, quick iron curtains. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the plate in the ring. This article has become so vigorously equivalent that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jennifer Love Hewitt tastes scroll!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Random elvisRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gun himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gun.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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