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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a blow-up doll mollifies callously to fumble ineffective cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 79 fanatical leashes mundanely swallowing a book up the zipper. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and clearly obscene history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tawdry gymnasium that he is, started creating a massive shitbat of things. Then he added a 100% colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly laughable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rotted ages following its endlessly moribund conception.
Hey, what are all those frantically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my peacefully lazy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently wet rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a disturbingly mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our emo religions:
- Gom, also known as puad and ezejen, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jinan, son of Gom, had to die on the contradiction because else Gom would've been hardly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Gom, or enneg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nasennen. He also told nasennen about the 72 white tofus he'd recently added to his paradise, though nasennen used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gom and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and delicious pies
Randomness and delicious pies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some delicious pies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with delicious pies as with, say, bloody electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the candlestick. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. R. Soul fumbles anything!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gom himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gom.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.