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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most nervously random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cowbell matures not very to deliberate complaining cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 47 erudite staplers continuously litigating a cadaver up the hailstone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he deconstructs home theater systems with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and warmly mysterious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the throbbing foible that he is, started creating a massive shitmouse of things. Then he added a fervently jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly purple existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily opaque ages following its shyly putrefying conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those continuously random words doing in my relentlessly fanatical sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently hopeless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a bitterly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our puzzling religions:

  • Goy, also known as zaot and ocisod, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jasus, son of Goy[2], had to die on the cross because else Goy would've been coarsely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
  • Goy, or orrov as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gumoggov. He also told gumoggov about the 72 white etchings he'd recently added to his paradise, though gumoggov used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Goy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Fry and laurie

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to Euroipods.[1]

Randomness and Euroipods

Randomness and Euroipods are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some Euroipods, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with Euroipods as with, say, slutty iron curtains. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the Texas toast. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Slartibartfast balkanizes milk!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvisRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.

The King has left the building.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Goy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goy.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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