Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most haphazardly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a banana exterminates cheekily to regurgitate mirthful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 25 malevolent teeth obnoxiously drying a petroglyph up the nitrogen. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he shaves rakes with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and clearly rapturous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the boorish graffiti that he is, started creating a massive shitpen of things. Then he added a easily Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pyrrhic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily on the ball ages following its obnoxiously tense conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those stupidly random words doing in my mercilessly slimy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently idiotic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a mysteriously gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our contrived religions:

  • lot, also known as lool and utiruu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • yalal, son of lot[2], had to die on the cross because else lot would've been senselessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Rome to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • lot, or uggus as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lodulluj. He also told lodulluj about the 72 white options he'd recently added to his paradise, though lodulluj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no lot and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Boop

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to hot dogs.[1]

Randomness and hot dogs

Randomness and hot dogs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was raping some hot dogs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hot dogs as with, say, demoralizing computers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sean Connery curates queer!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

BigFootRandom Big Foot Sighting

In accordance with International Random Big Foot Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Big Foot has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for alcoholic rehab.
Random elvisRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also lot himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of lot.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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