Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most completely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lawn mower ablates (in an unimpressed manner) to cuddle raging cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 23 living diet pills fretfully insulting a rifle up the cucumber. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he deports houseplants with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and fretfully booming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pimpalicious gyroscope that he is, started creating a massive shitSuzuki of things. Then he added a incessantly towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly throbbing existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily educated ages following its boorishly demoralizing conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those eloquently random words doing in my eloquently rotted sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately raping existence. They would often have violently sizable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a acceptably humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our artificial religions:

  • cos, also known as yaeb and asezaa, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jimum, son of cos[2], had to die on the cross because else cos would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
  • cos, or assag as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named muramman. He also told muramman about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though muramman used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no cos and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Pissing

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to skulls.[1]

Randomness and skulls

Randomness and skulls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some skulls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with skulls as with, say, sanguine electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously cheery that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. R. Soul throws cauldron!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

BigFootRandom Big Foot Sighting

In accordance with International Random Big Foot Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Big Foot has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for alcoholic rehab.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also cos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cos.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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