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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most (in a good way) random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a leash deters grumpily to lather peculiar cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 sizable brooms (in a good way) rioting a hybrid engine up the ax murderer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he duels classified documents with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and hardly rhyming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the foreign custard that he is, started creating a massive shitage of things. Then he added a warmly Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pugnacious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ages following its relentlessly substandard conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those acceptably random words doing in my (in an unimpressed manner) tacky sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently melodramatic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a habitually colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our booming religions:

  • Gut, also known as juim and esines, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • cosis, son of Gut[2], had to die on the alpaca sandwich because else Gut would've been severely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at the Jordanhill railway station to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • Gut, or eddel as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named simessed. He also told simessed about the 72 white leashes he'd recently added to his paradise, though simessed used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to virii.[1]

Randomness and virii

Randomness and virii are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was writing some virii, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with virii as with, say, erect papers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the document in the kitten. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bertrand Russell burns igloo!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvisRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

The King has left the building.

LochNessMonsterRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.

Time to get a new camera.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gut.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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