Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most eloquently random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diet pill eats (in a good way) to bamboozle universal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 76 virtual encyclopediae clearly sniffing a plague up the dishrag. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he swims ovens with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and exuberantly unnatural history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the vast keyboard that he is, started creating a massive shitbomb of things. Then he added a fretfully towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly vast existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pyrrhic ages following its (in an unruly manner) gay conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those brutally random words doing in my shoddily foul sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently slimy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a poorly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our defenestratable religions:

  • bok, also known as buub and amizar, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jisus, son of bok[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else bok would've been sometimes incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Paris to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
  • bok, or attaf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zapazzay. He also told zapazzay about the 72 white papers he'd recently added to his paradise, though zapazzay used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no bok and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Sillyelf

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to clones.[1]

Randomness and clones

Randomness and clones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some clones, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with clones as with, say, demoralizing homicidal screaming carrots. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Khan Noonien Singh deters paycheck!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


The King has left the building.
UFO Random UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for probing.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also bok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bok.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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