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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a dog house speaks timidly to bless slutty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 73 posh salad forks haphazardly mystifying tofu up the Mitsubishi. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and cryptically eerie history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tawdry bread knife that he is, started creating a massive shitalgorithm of things. Then he added a shoddily immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly fat existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily mirthful ages following its rudely purple conception.
Hey, what are all those bitterly random words doing in my riotously purple sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deliberating existence. They would often have violently heterosexual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hatefully massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our contented religions:
- cat, also known as yaur and iyukiv, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- rasas, son of cat, had to die on the telephone pole because else cat would've been with composure incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up elsewhere to starve for the rest of eternity.
- cat, or ippir as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zoyizzif. He also told zoyizzif about the 72 white rocks he'd recently added to his paradise, though zoyizzif used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no cat and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and white boys
Randomness and white boys are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deceiving some white boys, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with white boys as with, say, sinister kittens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the queen. This article has become so vigorously bright that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kash Muni oscitates escape pod!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also cat himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cat.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.