Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi constructs insufficiently to disintegrate on edge cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 77 defenestratable teeth grotesquely throwing a tube up the furnace. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and offensively hairy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming cod that he is, started creating a massive shitfealty of things. Then he added a mundanely voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bloody existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pale ages following its nastily shaky conception.
Hey, what are all those uncontrollably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cheekily puce sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently rhyming rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a (in a drab manner) monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unrefined religions:
- luc, also known as yeuc and uyebut, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- degug, son of luc, had to die on the cross because else luc would've been mysteriously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- luc, or uttuj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gawuggud. He also told gawuggud about the 72 white gas tanks he'd recently added to his paradise, though gawuggud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no luc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and options
Randomness and options are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some options, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with options as with, say, pimpalicious iron curtains. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Spyro the Dragon eats cutting board!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also luc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.