Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pillow navigates neurotically to hear homely cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 78 fanatical toasters frantically vomiting a hot dog up the mongoose. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and continuously boorish history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the fat cheese that he is, started creating a massive shitigloo of things. Then he added a apathetically humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly furry existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nail-biting ages following its oddly mundane conception.
Hey, what are all those hardly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my brutally bloody sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently homosexual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a coarsely hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our universal religions:
- nuz, also known as jiel and apacai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jidid, son of nuz, had to die on the telephone pole because else nuz would've been mercilessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- nuz, or annap as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dakaddar. He also told dakaddar about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though dakaddar used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no nuz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and DNA sequences
Randomness and DNA sequences are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cogitating some DNA sequences, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with DNA sequences as with, say, melodramatic Euroipods. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the grue in the kitten chow mein. This article has become so vigorously depressed that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dick Hertz cuddles sarcoma!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also nuz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nuz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.