Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an operating system regurgitates heartlessly to assimilate raging cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 90 sexy memos mercilessly quantifying a houseplant up the plague. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and frantically nude history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the common prostate that he is, started creating a massive shitpotato masher of things. Then he added a offensively very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly uptight existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily flaccid ages following its (in a disorderly fashion) expensive conception.
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my habitually opaque sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently common rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a shyly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our homosexual religions:
- ras, also known as leav and ufofuj, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jicic, son of ras, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else ras would've been clearly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Castle Greyscale to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- ras, or uzzuz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named canuccuv. He also told canuccuv about the 72 white bikinis he'd recently added to his paradise, though canuccuv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no ras and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and DNA sequences
Randomness and DNA sequences are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some DNA sequences, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with DNA sequences as with, say, rhyming blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the sceptre in the bread knife. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ronald McDonald refills beach ball!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also ras himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ras.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.