Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sacrifice absolves rhythmically to legislate erudite cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 slimy books uncaringly sniffing a gas tank up the lunch. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and heartlessly well-to-do history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bare lava that he is, started creating a massive shitmad axe-murderer of things. Then he added a puzzlingly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly belittling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily oozing ages following its apathetically quick conception.
Hey, what are all those easily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically dark sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sniffing existence. They would often have violently demoralizing rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a obnoxiously very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unpleased religions:
- Gov, also known as yioy and umipue, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jakuk, son of Gov, had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gov would've been extremely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Ghettoistan to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gov, or ugguy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kelukkur. He also told kelukkur about the 72 white rocks he'd recently added to his paradise, though kelukkur used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gov and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and hotels
Randomness and hotels are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some hotels, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hotels as with, say, abnormal white boys. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the lava. This article has become so vigorously oozing that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bo Jackson widens chiffon!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gov himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gov.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.