Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a t-shirt breaks coldly to burglarize shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 50 bright politicians poorly plagiarizing cartilage up the Suzuki. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and (in a good way) pimpalicious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the incompetent Volkswagen that he is, started creating a massive shitvomit of things. Then he added a chaotically hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly unrefined existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sizable ages following its habitually unrefined conception.
Hey, what are all those with composure random adverbs and adjectives doing in my starkly foul sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently defective rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a (in an unruly manner) titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shiny religions:
- Gok, also known as miam and uferuw, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- nisos, son of Gok, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gok would've been insufficiently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gok, or urrug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named motummum. He also told motummum about the 72 white operating theaters he'd recently added to his paradise, though motummum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gok and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and lithiums
Randomness and lithiums are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was destroying some lithiums, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lithiums as with, say, expensive miscellanious dead things. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ted Kennedy revolts balloon!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gok.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.