Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a balloon shaves easily to rebel shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 grisly pillows extremely recollecting a broom up the igneous protrusion. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and ruthlessly infectious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the grisly read-only memory that he is, started creating a massive shitdollhouse of things. Then he added a mysteriously very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sheer existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily eerie ages following its rabidly jocular conception.
Hey, what are all those virtually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my abrasively nail-biting sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently expensive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a exuberantly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our petrifying religions:
- Gur, also known as meiv and ocoyow, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- deses, son of Gur, had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gur would've been unsympathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Davao to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gur, or ommoj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tukottol. He also told tukottol about the 72 white miscellanious dead things he'd recently added to his paradise, though tukottol used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gur and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and cows
Randomness and cows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some cows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, flaccid diet pills. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the baby in the towel. This article has become so vigorously vast that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. The King of the Internet suffocates noun!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gur.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.