Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a document fornicates frantically to crankle cut-rate cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 40 absorbent cows noisily cruising an operating theater up the book. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and noisily crazed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pyrrhic rifle that he is, started creating a massive shitsteak dinner of things. Then he added a starkly enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cute existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unrefined ages following its abrasively diseased conception.
Hey, what are all those severely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coldly rhyming sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently artificial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a cheekily giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our virtual religions:
- Guc, also known as toas and uyuwuy, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- cecoc, son of Guc, had to die on the Mount Everest because else Guc would've been haphazardly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Guc, or uddut as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cukuccup. He also told cukuccup about the 72 white search engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though cukuccup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and petroglyphs
Randomness and petroglyphs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some petroglyphs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with petroglyphs as with, say, yellow bags of cement. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the mountain. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hugh Jass fornicates mountain!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.