Randomness

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(Randomness and religion)
(History)
 
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Randomness has had a long and {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} history. It all started when [[God]] emerged from the void and, being the {{adj|1}} {{noun|1}} that he is, started creating a massive shit{{noun|1}} of [[thing]]s. Then he added a {{adv|1}} {{adj/Big|1}} blob of [[apathy]] to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly {{adj|1}} existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily {{adj|1}} ages following its {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} conception.<ref name="sure">Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.</ref>
 
Randomness has had a long and {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} history. It all started when [[God]] emerged from the void and, being the {{adj|1}} {{noun|1}} that he is, started creating a massive shit{{noun|1}} of [[thing]]s. Then he added a {{adv|1}} {{adj/Big|1}} blob of [[apathy]] to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly {{adj|1}} existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily {{adj|1}} ages following its {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} conception.<ref name="sure">Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.</ref>
   
Hey, what are all those {{adv|1}} random words doing in my {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we [[Take a guess|come]]!
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Hey, what are all those {{adv|1}} random adverbs and adjectives doing in my {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we [[Take a guess|come]]!
   
 
==Randomness and science==
 
==Randomness and science==

Latest revision as of 23:08, May 17, 2012

No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most hatefully random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a classified document swallows unsympathetically to ruminate vigilant cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 73 vulgar cakes shoddily earning a blow-up doll up the cake. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

edit History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he blesses cockroaches with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and severely senseless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the heterosexual cadaver that he is, started creating a massive shitalfalfa of things. Then he added a suitably jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly overwrought existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily educated ages following its relentlessly buffoon-like conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those rabidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cryptically furry sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

edit Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently rigid rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

edit Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a easily giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our nonsensical religions:

  • pul, also known as sooy and inipio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • sutat, son of pul[2], had to die on the cross because else pul would've been sadistically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in the Splintern Hemisphere to implode for the rest of eternity.
  • pul, or iggic as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tanittin. He also told tanittin about the 72 white sticks he'd recently added to his paradise, though tanittin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no pul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Dummies

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to homicidal screaming carrots.[1]

edit Randomness and homicidal screaming carrots

Randomness and homicidal screaming carrots are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was raping some homicidal screaming carrots, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with homicidal screaming carrots as with, say, fake home theater systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously yellow that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. King Boo deconstructs rocket!

edit See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

edit Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also pul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of pul.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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