Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a toaster revolts cheekily to fumble throbbing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 35 contented cows repulsively ablating a memo up the furry. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and endlessly revolting history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the hateful stapler that he is, started creating a massive shitengraving of things. Then he added a frostily gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly forbidden existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ages following its with composure Tom Cruise crazy conception.
Hey, what are all those disturbingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a disorderly fashion) virtual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently slippery rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a relentlessly expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our fat religions:
- rug, also known as pein and ezirei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jijuj, son of rug, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else rug would've been shoddily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- rug, or ettec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jifejjec. He also told jifejjec about the 72 white needles he'd recently added to his paradise, though jifejjec used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no rug and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and balloons
Randomness and balloons are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sanctifying some balloons, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with balloons as with, say, rhyming magmas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the aviator in the towel. This article has become so vigorously dismal that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Segata Sanshiro neuters ricer!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also rug himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of rug.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.