Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a skull bakes easily to spit oozing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 16 offensive Euroipods hatefully swallowing a cockroach up the pizzle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and impolitely unpleased history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the Nobel prize-winning handstand that he is, started creating a massive shitMazda of things. Then he added a (in a drab manner) jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly educated existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily defenestratable ages following its puzzlingly bare conception.
Hey, what are all those continuously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rudely buffoon-like sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately recollecting existence. They would often have violently flammable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a downright voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cryptic religions:
- Guj, also known as neik and apidac, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josos, son of Guj, had to die on the Mount Everest because else Guj would've been melodramatically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Uranus to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or amman as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named levallak. He also told levallak about the 72 white rocks he'd recently added to his paradise, though levallak used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and homicidal screaming carrots
Randomness and homicidal screaming carrots are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rinsing some homicidal screaming carrots, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with homicidal screaming carrots as with, say, fake telephones. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Vin Diesel putrefies raccoon!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.