Randomness

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(Randomness and religion)
(History)
 
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Randomness has had a long and {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} history. It all started when [[God]] emerged from the void and, being the {{adj|1}} {{noun|1}} that he is, started creating a massive shit{{noun|1}} of [[thing]]s. Then he added a {{adv|1}} {{adj/Big|1}} blob of [[apathy]] to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly {{adj|1}} existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily {{adj|1}} ages following its {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} conception.<ref name="sure">Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.</ref>
 
Randomness has had a long and {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} history. It all started when [[God]] emerged from the void and, being the {{adj|1}} {{noun|1}} that he is, started creating a massive shit{{noun|1}} of [[thing]]s. Then he added a {{adv|1}} {{adj/Big|1}} blob of [[apathy]] to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly {{adj|1}} existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily {{adj|1}} ages following its {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} conception.<ref name="sure">Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.</ref>
   
Hey, what are all those {{adv|1}} random words doing in my {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we [[Take a guess|come]]!
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Hey, what are all those {{adv|1}} random adverbs and adjectives doing in my {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we [[Take a guess|come]]!
   
 
==Randomness and science==
 
==Randomness and science==

Latest revision as of 23:08, May 17, 2012

No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most frostily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a document fornicates frantically to crankle cut-rate cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 40 absorbent cows noisily cruising an operating theater up the book. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

edit History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he terrorizes kittens with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and noisily crazed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pyrrhic rifle that he is, started creating a massive shitsteak dinner of things. Then he added a starkly enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cute existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unrefined ages following its abrasively diseased conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those severely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coldly rhyming sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

edit Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently artificial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

edit Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a cheekily giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our virtual religions:

  • Guc, also known as toas and uyuwuy, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • cecoc, son of Guc[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Guc would've been haphazardly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
  • Guc, or uddut as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cukuccup. He also told cukuccup about the 72 white search engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though cukuccup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Guc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
St John the Evangelist at patmos

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to petroglyphs.[1]

edit Randomness and petroglyphs

Randomness and petroglyphs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some petroglyphs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with petroglyphs as with, say, yellow bags of cement. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the mountain. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hugh Jass fornicates mountain!

edit See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

LochNessMonsterRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Time to get a new camera.

edit Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Guc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guc.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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