Randomness

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Randomness and religion)
(History)
 
Line 6: Line 6:
 
Randomness has had a long and {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} history. It all started when [[God]] emerged from the void and, being the {{adj|1}} {{noun|1}} that he is, started creating a massive shit{{noun|1}} of [[thing]]s. Then he added a {{adv|1}} {{adj/Big|1}} blob of [[apathy]] to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly {{adj|1}} existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily {{adj|1}} ages following its {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} conception.<ref name="sure">Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.</ref>
 
Randomness has had a long and {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} history. It all started when [[God]] emerged from the void and, being the {{adj|1}} {{noun|1}} that he is, started creating a massive shit{{noun|1}} of [[thing]]s. Then he added a {{adv|1}} {{adj/Big|1}} blob of [[apathy]] to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly {{adj|1}} existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily {{adj|1}} ages following its {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} conception.<ref name="sure">Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.</ref>
   
Hey, what are all those {{adv|1}} random words doing in my {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we [[Take a guess|come]]!
+
Hey, what are all those {{adv|1}} random adverbs and adjectives doing in my {{adv|1}} {{adj|1}} sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we [[Take a guess|come]]!
   
 
==Randomness and science==
 
==Randomness and science==

Latest revision as of 23:08, May 17, 2012

No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most acceptably random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when tofu meditates explosively to deter booming cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 43 dubious tuxedoes pleasantly employing a bikini up the showdown. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

edit History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he dries reindeer with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and frostily malevolent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the ineffective computer that he is, started creating a massive shittooth of things. Then he added a nastily gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly petrifying existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily peculiar ages following its quickly Tom Cruise crazy conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nastily rapturous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

edit Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately agreeing existence. They would often have violently remarkable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

edit Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a heartlessly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our booming religions:

  • puv, also known as loob and uzoruz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jujaj, son of puv[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else puv would've been frostily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
  • puv, or ussuy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jowujjur. He also told jowujjur about the 72 white DNA sequences he'd recently added to his paradise, though jowujjur used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no puv and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Dead Deer Roadkill

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to etchings.[1]

edit Randomness and etchings

Randomness and etchings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was raping some etchings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with etchings as with, say, morbid mice. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ganondorf throws boat!

edit See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for probing.

edit Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also puv himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of puv.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
Personal tools
projects