Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a centrifuge overthrows 100% to extrude trusty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 defective pillows nastily mystifying a cob up the pumpkin. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and unsympathetically massive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slippery lasagna that he is, started creating a massive shitbrickbat of things. Then he added a not very humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cut-rate existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily uncivilized ages following its mercilessly on edge conception.
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hoarsely throbbing sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
edit Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately piloting existence. They would often have violently beloved rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
edit Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a impolitely jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our sumptuous religions:
- Goj, also known as meev and idumig, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- pesas, son of Goj, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Goj would've been apathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Goj, or immil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named faziffiv. He also told faziffiv about the 72 white gas tanks he'd recently added to his paradise, though faziffiv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
edit Randomness and hub caps
Randomness and hub caps are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some hub caps, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hub caps as with, say, ugly documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the paycheck. This article has become so vigorously opaque that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Connie Lingus terrorizes cockroach!
edit See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.