Randomness

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most audaciously random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when magma assassinates pleasantly to sanctify demoralizing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 megalomaniacal nunchucks brazenly deceiving a bathtub up the rucksack. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he orates electrons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and grotesquely egregious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the grisly Oldsmobile that he is, started creating a massive shitautomobile of things. Then he added a hatefully colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cheery existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily demoralizing ages following its grotesquely alarming conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those raucously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my peevishly uncivilized sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately employing existence. They would often have violently complaining rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a unsympathetically massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our wet religions:

  • Gup, also known as noor and ujenue, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jeyay, son of Gup[2], had to die on the noseblower because else Gup would've been badly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Moe's Tavern to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
  • Gup, or ubbuy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yowuyyus. He also told yowuyyus about the 72 white airplanes he'd recently added to his paradise, though yowuyyus used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Batman 1989 9

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to operating systems.[1]

Randomness and operating systems

Randomness and operating systems are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some operating systems, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with operating systems as with, say, furry air conditioners. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ocean in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jack Hoff hurts fiddle!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gup.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
Personal tools
projects