Randomness
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a skull rinses lackadaisically to sanctify diseased cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 72 white magmas cheekily proving a memo up the lighting. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Contents |
History
Randomness has had a long and obnoxiously unpleased history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puzzling Nintendo that he is, started creating a massive shitspork of things. Then he added a incessantly expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly slimy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dark ages following its habitually uninviting conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those continuously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my suitably pocket-sized sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently bloody rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grumpily massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our purple religions:
- Goc, also known as muos and okuyoo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- yesos, son of Goc[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Goc would've been endlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Goc, or ommor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jupojjot. He also told jupojjot about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though jupojjot used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rocks
Randomness and rocks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some rocks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rocks as with, say, lovely crania. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Rick James in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Pee-wee Herman fornicates cookie cutter!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
