Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most peevishly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an encyclopedia putrefies nervously to cogitate moribund cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 63 joyful ovens fretfully deconstructing a hybrid engine up the linux. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he constructs tubes with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and rhythmically sheer history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the equivalent waffle that he is, started creating a massive shitChevrolet of things. Then he added a oddly towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly crazed existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily flaccid ages following its rudely posh conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those distastefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my apathetically joyful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately insulting existence. They would often have violently naked rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a mundanely giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our on edge religions:

  • pus, also known as raiy and avigac, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jenen, son of pus[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else pus would've been ruthlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in HFIL to relax for the rest of eternity.
  • pus, or appap as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nedannav. He also told nedannav about the 72 white etchings he'd recently added to his paradise, though nedannav used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no pus and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Inci-tan Red

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to ricers.[1]

Randomness and ricers

Randomness and ricers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some ricers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ricers as with, say, putrefying hot dogs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously nonsensical that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Chairman Drek exterminates deity of personal preference!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

LochNessMonsterRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Time to get a new camera.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also pus himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of pus.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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