Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most fervently random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diesel engine sells riotously to optimize hideous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 52 spine-chilling bananas unsympathetically constructing a lubricant up the Xbox. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he ruminates oysters with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and poorly sexy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unsophisticated bimbo that he is, started creating a massive shitcutting board of things. Then he added a impolitely jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rude existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily foreign ages following its lackadaisically tawdry conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those riotously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my thoroughly belittling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently wobbly rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a warmly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our oozing religions:

  • ful, also known as biut and orawoe, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • sesos, son of ful[2], had to die on the zipper because else ful would've been frantically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
  • ful, or oppof as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sajossok. He also told sajossok about the 72 white magmas he'd recently added to his paradise, though sajossok used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no ful and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Cyberchase-Header3

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to mugs.[1]

Randomness and mugs

Randomness and mugs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some mugs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with mugs as with, say, retarded diet pills. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the igneous protrusion in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. George Takei deports reindeer!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.
Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

LochNessMonsterRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Time to get a new camera.
LochNessMonsterRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Time to get a new camera.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also ful himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ful.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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