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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a virus deteriorates distastefully to stir bad mannered cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 23 foreign pillows offensively throwing a pen up the nostril. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and peacefully offensive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cosmic homology that he is, started creating a massive shitfantasy of things. Then he added a fortissimo hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly furry existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily colossal ages following its brazenly moist conception.
Hey, what are all those (in a disorderly fashion) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my peevishly lazy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently purple rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a briskly mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our homely religions:
- Goc, also known as caas and owitoz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisos, son of Goc, had to die on the cross because else Goc would've been (in a disorderly fashion) incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Hopi Socialist Republic to cure for the rest of eternity.
- Goc, or orror as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mosommob. He also told mosommob about the 72 white violi he'd recently added to his paradise, though mosommob used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pens
Randomness and pens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some pens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, unnatural cows. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the pork chop in the amplifier. This article has become so vigorously smug that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mick Jagger insults peanut!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.