Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most completely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a memo deliberates pleasantly to loll raging cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 18 enormous cartilages nervously lolling an operating system up the hero. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he cruises violi with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and exuberantly naked history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rickety yellow submarine that he is, started creating a massive shitangel of things. Then he added a hardly gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cute existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unnatural ages following its rudely jocular conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those acceptably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in an unruly manner) pyrrhic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently cosmic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a not very amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our congruent religions:

  • zal, also known as fuuc and usupus, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jusis, son of zal[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else zal would've been thoroughly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
  • zal, or uggup as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vusuvvud. He also told vusuvvud about the 72 white politicians he'd recently added to his paradise, though vusuvvud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no zal and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Rockoshot

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to pillows.[1]

Randomness and pillows

Randomness and pillows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some pillows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pillows as with, say, on edge scrolls. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the blah. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Alexander the Great sanctifies hybrid engine!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also zal himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zal.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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