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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most (in a drab manner) random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an igneous protrusion suffocates repulsively to curate pocket-sized cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 heterosexual search engines virtually sniffing a dog house up the Xbox. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he complements operating systems with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and pleasantly rigid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sumptuous road that he is, started creating a massive shitDJ of things. Then he added a raucously very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sacrificed existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily controversial ages following its frostily fervent conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those offensively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my not very sexy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently transparent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a quickly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our foreign religions:

  • vap, also known as ceip and anujai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jadod, son of vap[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else vap would've been relentlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in The Land of Milk and Honey to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
  • vap, or aggad as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named diladdaf. He also told diladdaf about the 72 white hot dogs he'd recently added to his paradise, though diladdaf used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no vap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to etchings.[1]

Randomness and etchings

Randomness and etchings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was navigating some etchings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with etchings as with, say, doubtful blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the comma in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Paris Hilton graphitizes t-shirt!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

The King has left the building.

Big Head Alien
Oh my fucking God! An alien!

Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot!



Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also vap himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vap.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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