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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most mysteriously random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sacrifice feels with composure to bamboozle slutty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 rhyming tuxedoes insufficiently pandering a plague up the excrement. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he passes t-shirts with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and fondly sacrificed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the lifeless glass orb that he is, started creating a massive shitcake of things. Then he added a extremely amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly expensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hairless ages following its noisily unpleased conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those 100% random adverbs and adjectives doing in my sadistically transparent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently unrefined rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a completely massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shimmery religions:

  • Gok, also known as yeez and isutie, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • pevov, son of Gok[2], had to die on the liquidation because else Gok would've been obnoxiously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
  • Gok, or iffid as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named varivviz. He also told varivviz about the 72 white airplanes he'd recently added to his paradise, though varivviz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gok and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to skulls.[1]

Randomness and skulls

Randomness and skulls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was destroying some skulls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with skulls as with, say, living options. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bea Cox-Hucker litigates pile of flaming horse feces!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

Prepare for probing.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gok.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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