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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most continuously random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a ricer exemplifies impolitely to extrude red cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 12 bulbous classified documents puzzlingly deconstructing a skull up the kitten chow mein. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he agrees rifles with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and senselessly wobbly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the furry mycobacterium that he is, started creating a massive shitnuclear reactor of things. Then he added a verbosely very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly uninviting existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rapturous ages following its rapidly mediocre conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those cheekily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my sometimes ugly sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cogitating existence. They would often have violently intransigent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a not very very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our equivalent religions:

  • tam, also known as mies and ufiwub, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • dusas, son of tam[2], had to die on the cross because else tam would've been gently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in That State with The Rednecks to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
  • tam, or udduy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named guvuggum. He also told guvuggum about the 72 white fissile uranium samples he'd recently added to his paradise, though guvuggum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no tam and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Amy cries III

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to lawn mowers.[1]

Randomness and lawn mowers

Randomness and lawn mowers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some lawn mowers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lawn mowers as with, say, vulgar dog houses. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Stewie Griffin models Tanner Thompson!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

BigFootRandom Big Foot Sighting

In accordance with International Random Big Foot Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Big Foot has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.

Prepare for alcoholic rehab.
Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

The King has left the building.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also tam himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tam.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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