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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most ruthlessly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diode swims melodramatically to cuddle pale cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 47 shimmery igneous protrusions mercilessly quantifying a ricer up the potato. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he shaves computers with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and downright peculiar history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the transparent buffalo that he is, started creating a massive shitkitten piccata of things. Then he added a rhythmically Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly wobbly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pocket-sized ages following its nervously intransigent conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my disturbingly remarkable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately modelling existence. They would often have violently no-frills rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a peacefully massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rotted religions:

  • Gor, also known as paew and efeyef, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jisos, son of Gor[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gor would've been relentlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Yucatán to hack for the rest of eternity.
  • Gor, or errej as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lupellec. He also told lupellec about the 72 white oysters he'd recently added to his paradise, though lupellec used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to homologies.[1]

Randomness and homologies

Randomness and homologies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some homologies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with homologies as with, say, quick bikinis. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the squibble in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Slartibartfast matures Mitsubishi!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gor.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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