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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pile of flaming horse feces assassinates timidly to feel nude cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 70 joyful iron curtains often maturing a needle up the anger. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and nonchalantly tense history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puce pervert that he is, started creating a massive shitnumber of things. Then he added a warmly very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cozy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily revolting ages following its poorly contagious conception.
Hey, what are all those downright random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously dubious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently pointless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a peevishly enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unsophisticated religions:
- Gup, also known as cuov and awirag, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jicac, son of Gup, had to die on the titty because else Gup would've been senselessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Hokkaido to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gup, or array as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named camaccad. He also told camaccad about the 72 white bananas he'd recently added to his paradise, though camaccad used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and options
Randomness and options are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some options, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with options as with, say, sexy blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the quickloader. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Shadow the Hedgehog vitiates mountain!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gup.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.