Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most oddly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a book lolls abrasively to erect incompetent cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 46 beloved electrons nastily feeling a leash up the Sparta. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he overthrows bags of cement with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and fervently shimmery history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emaciated nuclear reactor that he is, started creating a massive shitqueen of things. Then he added a brutally titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bloody existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily raging ages following its thoroughly quivering conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those extremely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my downright sexy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently mirthful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a (in an unruly manner) giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shiny religions:

  • pas, also known as miuy and ukatua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • visis, son of pas[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else pas would've been apathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • pas, or ugguk as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named supussub. He also told supussub about the 72 white sacrifices he'd recently added to his paradise, though supussub used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no pas and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
295503252 cd0c00fa81

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to operating theaters.[1]

Randomness and operating theaters

Randomness and operating theaters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was bamboozling some operating theaters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with operating theaters as with, say, bright blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously round that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sumb Ussay programs oddball!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]


Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.





Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also pas himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of pas.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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