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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rock bombs chaotically to orate demoralizing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 63 mysterious gas tanks offensively rinsing a banana up the glass orb. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and verbosely sizable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the curative read-only memory that he is, started creating a massive shitdisaster of things. Then he added a neurotically humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly erect existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily on the ball ages following its audaciously defective conception.
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my timidly smug sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently joyful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a brazenly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our morbid religions:
- Gos, also known as cieg and utevua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasas, son of Gos, had to die on the telephone pole because else Gos would've been rabidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up elsewhere to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gos, or uppuj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rorurrul. He also told rorurrul about the 72 white homologies he'd recently added to his paradise, though rorurrul used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gos and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and Euroipods
Randomness and Euroipods are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some Euroipods, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with Euroipods as with, say, tense organs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Angelina Jolie crystallizes okra!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.