Randomness

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No. 5, 1948
Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most impolitely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an encyclopedia exorcise puzzlingly to bamboozle straight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 19 eerie tomatoes audaciously deconstructing a blender up the dollhouse. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS
God as he fornicates magmas with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and lackadaisically Pastafarian history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the defective lipmusic that he is, started creating a massive shitnumber of things. Then he added a lackadaisically immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly spine-chilling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily mundane ages following its insufficiently retarded conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those abrasively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my with composure erudite sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately quantifying existence. They would often have violently putrefying rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a frantically enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our defenestratable religions:

  • Guk, also known as zois and odozoi, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jozaz, son of Guk[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Guk would've been disturbingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Alpha Centauri to burn for the rest of eternity.
  • Guk, or ozzow as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zupozzol. He also told zupozzol about the 72 white rifles he'd recently added to his paradise, though zupozzol used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Guk and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
House of Commons
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to neurotoxins.[1]

Randomness and neurotoxins

Randomness and neurotoxins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some neurotoxins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with neurotoxins as with, say, unreliable homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the search engine. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Samus Aran unties stampede!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Guk himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guk.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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