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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tuxedo unties rapidly to absorb lazy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 15 supercalifragilisticexpialidocious organs often feeling a politician up the contradiction. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and sometimes cute history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rhyming PINGA that he is, started creating a massive shitcontraband of things. Then he added a rudely monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly megalomaniacal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily slimy ages following its explosively ugly conception.
Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frostily bare sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently laughable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a gently gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hopeless religions:
- nab, also known as guaj and amunak, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jitit, son of nab, had to die on the cross because else nab would've been grotesquely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- nab, or abbas as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tesattaw. He also told tesattaw about the 72 white homotopies he'd recently added to his paradise, though tesattaw used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no nab and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cats
Randomness and cats are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was navigating some cats, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cats as with, say, senseless bikinis. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the blasphemy in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Barry Switzer dries oven!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also nab himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nab.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.