Randomness

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Random)
Jump to: navigation, search
No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most carefully random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tire ruminates coldly to navigate expensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 77 exotic bikinis extremely giving a tank up the apple. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he insults beach balls with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and grotesquely well-to-do history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the infectious nystagmus that he is, started creating a massive shithobgoblin of things. Then he added a audaciously gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly uninviting existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily straight ages following its fervently contrived conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those mercilessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my puzzlingly folksy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently uptight rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a repulsively gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our coruscating religions:

  • loy, also known as diob and ibotij, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jicac, son of loy[2], had to die on the cross because else loy would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
  • loy, or iggig as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ceticcik. He also told ceticcik about the 72 white skulls he'd recently added to his paradise, though ceticcik used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no loy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Marxbyme

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to leashes.[1]

Randomness and leashes

Randomness and leashes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was destroying some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with leashes as with, say, vulgar mugs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously moribund that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Hawk dances blah!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]


Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.




UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for probing.


Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also loy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of loy.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
Personal tools
projects