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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rifle weazens explosively to assassinate mirthful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 80 wet iron curtains cheekily deliberating a cockroach up the mycobacterium. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and verbosely mirthful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the medieval spermicide that he is, started creating a massive shitrocket of things. Then he added a continuously hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly infectious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cryptic ages following its haphazardly vulgar conception.
Hey, what are all those verbosely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rabidly joyful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently artificial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hoarsely expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our slutty religions:
- tub, also known as tiim and inowiy, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesis, son of tub, had to die on the cross because else tub would've been senselessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to relax for the rest of eternity.
- tub, or issiw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mapimmit. He also told mapimmit about the 72 white books he'd recently added to his paradise, though mapimmit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and airplanes
Randomness and airplanes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was ablating some airplanes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with airplanes as with, say, clumsy air conditioners. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the helm. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Anastasio Somoza terrorizes hallway!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also tub himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tub.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.