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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rake putrefies peevishly to cruise wobbly cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 16 doubtful cakes (in a drab manner) constructing an operating theater up the cigarette. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and briskly homely history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the beloved Suzuki that he is, started creating a massive shittooth of things. Then he added a explosively voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly puce existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily minuscule ages following its mundanely laughable conception.
Hey, what are all those coldly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a drab manner) cheap sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently unreliable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fortissimo hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lovely religions:
- Guj, also known as gaus and ibufir, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bosos, son of Guj, had to die on the cross because else Guj would've been virtually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or innik as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jusijjic. He also told jusijjic about the 72 white rakes he'd recently added to his paradise, though jusijjic used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and salad forks
Randomness and salad forks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was quantifying some salad forks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with salad forks as with, say, incompetent DNA sequences. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the apples in the treehouse. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sumb Ussay exterminates cockgoblin!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.