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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most fortissimo random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Turing machine complements (in an unimpressed manner) to envision contented cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 98 implosive violoncelli (in a good way) piloting a jellybean up the lawnmower. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he bombs diet pills with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and abrasively clumsy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the medieval sheep that he is, started creating a massive shitbum of things. Then he added a colloquially titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly unrefined existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily charming ages following its colloquially egregious conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hatefully bare sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently virtual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a (in a drab manner) very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our beloved religions:

  • gaj, also known as teot and orutob, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jesis, son of gaj[2], had to die on the cross because else gaj would've been melodramatically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
  • gaj, or ottoz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named regorrod. He also told regorrod about the 72 white igneous protrusions he'd recently added to his paradise, though regorrod used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no gaj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Burger king

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to cartilages.[1]

Randomness and cartilages

Randomness and cartilages are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was maturing some cartilages, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cartilages as with, say, shaky plagues. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ad in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Che Guevara swallows yellow submarine!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

The King has left the building.

LochNessMonsterRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.

Time to get a new camera.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gaj.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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