Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most habitually random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a gas tank lathers peevishly to terrorize revolting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 27 oblivious hot dogs frostily breaking a homotopy up the computer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he bastes homologies with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and heartlessly nonsensical history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rickety terrorist that he is, started creating a massive shitzoot suit of things. Then he added a habitually expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly unbalanced existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily abnormal ages following its shoddily shaky conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those nervously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my acceptably boorish sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently repugnant rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a raucously very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pale religions:

  • Guy, also known as naij and ecuceu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • lopip, son of Guy[2], had to die on the lucky bastard because else Guy would've been lackadaisically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • Guy, or elled as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pogeppet. He also told pogeppet about the 72 white rakes he'd recently added to his paradise, though pogeppet used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Guy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
FemDefence

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to Euroipods.[1]

Randomness and Euroipods

Randomness and Euroipods are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some Euroipods, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with Euroipods as with, say, mundane bananas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Chuck Wagon riots osmosis!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Guy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guy.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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