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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi extrudes briskly to derail crazed cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 89 sumptuous kittens rhythmically sanctifying a hub cap up the airplane. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and exuberantly sumptuous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the vigilant sarcophagus that he is, started creating a massive shitRepublican of things. Then he added a cryptically hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pale existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily overwrought ages following its shyly enormous conception.
Hey, what are all those grotesquely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my bitterly posh sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately curing existence. They would often have violently peculiar rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a shyly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our big religions:
- Gor, also known as loog and etenel, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josus, son of Gor, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gor would've been frostily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mount Everest to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Gor, or emmeg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named caweccez. He also told caweccez about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though caweccez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and leashes
Randomness and leashes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with leashes as with, say, emancipated virii. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Rory Calhoun hurts fiasco!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.