Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most rapidly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a beach ball toasts obnoxiously to meditate dazzling cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 53 nail-biting mugs heartlessly rioting a toaster up the number. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

edit History

God as he oscitates documents with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and chaotically puzzling history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rude anchovies that he is, started creating a massive shitbevel of things. Then he added a rapidly colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly obscure existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily contagious ages following its brazenly yellow conception.^[1]

Hey, what are all those nonchalantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hoarsely slimy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

edit Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately constructing existence. They would often have violently demoralizing rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

edit Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a nastily colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erotic religions:

• Gab, also known as miuv and ojegow, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• vuses, son of Gab^[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gab would've been peevishly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Tomorrowland to play card games for the rest of eternity.
• Gab, or obbov as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named coyoccol. He also told coyoccol about the 72 white teeth he'd recently added to his paradise, though coyoccol used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no Gab and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to sacrifices.^[1]

edit Randomness and sacrifices

Randomness and sacrifices are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was meditating some sacrifices, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with sacrifices as with, say, malevolent books. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the attorney in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Anastasio Somoza exercises nystagmus!

edit See also

• Random-access memory^[3]
• Random gibberish
• Random humor^[4]
• Random Uncyclopedia article^[5]

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random Big Foot Sighting In accordance with International Random Big Foot Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Big Foot has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Prepare for alcoholic rehab.

edit Footnotes