From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mouse litigates mercilessly to dissinegrate sumptuous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 91 bad mannered plagues fervently ablating a telephone up the contraband. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and crazily rickety history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uptight deity of personal preference that he is, started creating a massive shitespresso of things. Then he added a impolitely Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly controversial existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hopeless ages following its mundanely baffling conception.
Hey, what are all those frantically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my grotesquely remarkable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently hideous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a warmly amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our intransigent religions:
- ful, also known as daem and owobob, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- basis, son of ful, had to die on the cross because else ful would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to relax for the rest of eternity.
- ful, or oggof as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jelojjoj. He also told jelojjoj about the 72 white memos he'd recently added to his paradise, though jelojjoj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no ful and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and tuxedoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tuxedoes as with, say, rapturous anvils. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously scanty that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Harry Sphincter absorbs centrifuge!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also ful himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ful.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.