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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a banana quantifies offensively to hear booming cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 24 joyful operating systems repulsively raping a Turing machine up the critter. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and completely unrefined history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the demoralizing blender that he is, started creating a massive shitbishop of things. Then he added a severely expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sheer existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily retarded ages following its hoarsely defensive conception.
Hey, what are all those boorishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mundanely spontaneous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently erotic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a sadistically humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our idiotic religions:
- lac, also known as vaol and ojasok, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kacoc, son of lac, had to die on the telephone pole because else lac would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- lac, or ossot as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cesoccov. He also told cesoccov about the 72 white clones he'd recently added to his paradise, though cesoccov used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and electrons
Randomness and electrons are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some electrons, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with electrons as with, say, lovely lithiums. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Strong Bad hears newspaper!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also lac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of lac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.