Randomness

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No. 5, 1948
Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most compulsively random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diet pill absolves puzzlingly to write pugnacious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 36 erotic fish to a great degree feasting a houseplant up the redwood. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS
God as he anglicises electrons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and blaringly hideous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the purple ballroom that he is, started creating a massive shitcandlestick of things. Then he added a coarsely towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly grisly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rigid ages following its starkly uptight conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those frostily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my poorly yellow-bellied sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently pimpalicious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a eloquently mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our despicable religions:

  • tut, also known as boor and ebinez, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jecic, son of tut[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else tut would've been shoddily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Stalingrad to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • tut, or eggey as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cukeccey. He also told cukeccey about the 72 white rakes he'd recently added to his paradise, though cukeccey used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no tut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
MacManiasig
Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to cadavers.[1]

Randomness and cadavers

Randomness and cadavers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some cadavers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cadavers as with, say, smug homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the bass guitar. This article has become so vigorously egregious that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Cream the Rabbit bamboozles magma!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.
Big Head Alien
Oh my fucking God! An alien!

Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot!

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also tut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tut.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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