Rally Racing

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“Did I write down that there was a small jump past turn 38?”
~ Dead guy on Rally Racing
“There,s a plus on it...there,s a plus on it...Give her 4th lad!!!...she's fucking screaming for it.....go on away!!......go on aawwaaayyy!!!..........FLATTEN IT!!!! FLATTEN IT!!!!!! Barry Meade”
~ Rally co-driver

“Co-driver "1 Right long opens over small crest, 150 dont cut, turn square left 40" Driver "Square left?"

Co-driver "JUST DRIVE IT'S QUICKER" Driver and co driver”
~ mid stage

Rallying is a form of motor competition that takes place on public or private roads with modified production or specially built road-legal cars. With Stickers. Lots of stickers.

This motorsport is distinguished by running not on a circuit, but instead in a point-to-point format in stages which have as many hazards as possible. You name it, its there. Car destroying trees, cliff edges, Chuck Norris, if its dangerous and you can drive into it, you'll usually find it on a rally stage. Rallies may be won by driving prowess, a deathwish, or bribery or a combination of all three.

edit Rally competitors

The competitors of rally racing can be split into two distinct catagories.

edit Drivers

The driver's responsibility during the rally is to drive as fast as possible from point A to point B in the least amount of time possible. Of all the disciplines of racing, Rallying is the only race form that requires the competitors to suffer from a medical complaint commonly known as "Balls of Steel". In order to compete they must have:

  • The reactions of a Cobra
  • The bravery of a Lion
  • The precision of a Chameleon
  • The stamina of a Racehorse
  • and the personal welfare of a Lemming

edit Co drivers

The Co-drivers job is to sit in a car being driven at breakneck speed whilst reading page after page of handwritten pace notes to the driver who is relying on the constant stream of information to keep the car on the road. Rally drivers are unable to drive competitvely without a constant stream of information from their co-drivers. Losing your place and having to go back to the beginning is considered hazardous to your life.

The demands of rally co-driving vary from driver to driver, but the best co-driver in existance is Mr. Barry Meade from Ireland. Follow this youtube link to see why

edit Typical Rally Environments

  • Wilderness
  • Tameness
  • Isolated islands
  • Isolated planets
  • Minefields
  • No-man's land
  • Around spectators
  • Over spectators
  • Under spectators
  • Through spectators
  • Around volcanoes
  • Inside volcanoes
  • Inside the human psyche

edit Other Motorsports

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