Radiohead

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Article about a person or thing written in the style of that person or thing
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Introduction

Radiohead have been around since 1985, making shed loads of money for corporate suits but with 110% artistic control about what they choose to wear on stage. Thom Yorke sings every Radiohead song except for "Fitter Happier", a song sung by guest star Stephen Hawking. Hawking expressed the hope Radiohead would record an audio version of his book A Brief History of Time in return.

The band consists of Thom (Also known by his stage name, thong_defiowncewin//1_yt) Yorke, Thom Yorke_2.0, That guy from Red Hot Chili Peppers and an ensemble of 42 other motherfuckers. However, thong_defiowncewin//1_yt and his successor/desciple/clone/fanboy Thom Yorke_2.0 (whom, surprisingly, are the only two original members of the band) have been downgraded for consistently having their decisions over the band and its members, including claiming to have had 11 different trumpeters in the recording for their Grammy-award winning/"loved by the public" album Kid A (which was later remixed by Some fucker named under the title Kid A Reborn, Remixed, and Reloaded. Even though this album brought the chaotic sounds of Kid A to a mainstream audience, this was still the fucker's worst reviewed and most hated album of his entire career. Score 1 for unnecessary criticism.)

The name Radiohead, however, came all the way from 1983 when a then-teenaged Thom Yorke went on a field trip to a world-famous museum. While there, he encountered a special copy of the Bible. After buying the book for an indistinguishable price, he finally opened up the book to, oh, somewhere in the freaking book. However, he never realized that opening that one book could change his life forever. One of the storys (or however you spell it) in there that he remembered for the rest of his life was one from around the middle of the book. It had stated that Jesus and Satan fought in a game of Twister and, when Satan won, Jesus took the thing nearest to him and threw it at Satan, thus redeeming him to hell. 3 years later, when Thom Yorke was on tour for the band Masculine Family Killas or Thom Yorke and all his Friends and had just summoned his de facto successor Thom Yorke_2.0, Mr. Yorke and founding member Ed Sullivan were playing a game of chess. When Ed Sullivan won with a checkmate, Thom Yorke remembered what to do. He picked up the thing nearest to him (In this case, a boombox that had been placed on the nearby coffee table) and threw it at Sullivan's forehead. The somewhere-around-50 members of the band loved the so-called "trick" that Yorke pulled off, and declared Sullivan and the band as Radiohead.

Outsiders have criticised Radiohead as 'difficult', 'pretentious', 'best advertisement for anti-depression drugs' and 'analogue anoraks' but the band insist their music speak for them. So here goes.

Thomyorke001

Artist:Thom Yorke, Title:Armageddon


yyyhngbgyhntthy xgdf**introduction


>we are phil selway
>thom yorke and colin greenwood
	we are in a band
>then theres ed and theres jon: jon is colins brother now
	we are in a band

..!!in the nineties we was cool but then we ripped off Aphex Twin!!

>in the deep deep sssleep of the self-assured
	we are in a band
>in a weird screwed up song 
    we're amazed that we survived
	our hubris saved our lives

7yuc zhd2**early years///1987

	please could you stop the noise im tryin to teach a CLASS?

we formed our band inside our highschoolmusic room
								huh dont stare!!

when we were kids they called us gits and kicked our balls
		they took our lunch money and gave us quite a fall
						huh dont stare!!

		nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnature made us look pretty ugly

		b a ld i n g   w h i n y     s q u i n t y     l i t t l e    f a i r i e s 
	
	“you dont       remember  “why dont you remember our     names?
  • ]!!warning!! song is too long truncating for radio edit**

dxoigmn**$$$$uccess////pablohoney1992////thebends1995.

Thomyorke002

Artist:Thom Yorke, Title: I'm going to sell this for USD $600,000

fitter wealthier more productive
comfortable
not sucking so much
regular play on the radio (3 times a day)
getting on better with your hypocrite college contemporary audience
at ease
playing well (no more local bar concerts and no more name-calling)
a better songwriter
a nicer car (groupie smiling in back seat)
touring lots (with REM)
still paranoia
careful to all producers (always following orders)
keep in contact with old favourites (playing creep on command)
will frequently check account at (moral) bank (tons of money)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity for the cameras
on fridays recording session
(starting to compose with piano instead of guitar)
get drunk (also on fridays)
still afraid of cars
and airplanes
writing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
writing so childish
at a faster pace
quicker and more complicated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but self-absorbed)
an empowered & informed member of Oxfam (pragmatism and idealism!)*]
etc, etc,

  • ]syntax error
  • ]more syntax error

OK Computer////1997??id6890

karma police arrest this band they ripped me off singing bout computers and bout crashing aeroplanes.  

karma police arrest this man his whiny singing is making me depressed
&he
just
took
our 
m0ney.

tHis is what you get.  tHis is what you get.  tHis is what you get when you spend on us.

karma police ive given all ican its not enough ive given all i can but theyre still milking b-sides.
tHis is what you get.  tHis is what you get.  tHis is what you get when you spend on us.

(phew    for a minute there  i had to ralph)

ocmcocmcocmk**kid a////2000

our hearts were full up like a landfill  got bored with playing music.  
started playing noise.  

we were so tired and unhappy.  tired of our old sound.  we searched.  
searchedfornovelty.  

we found noisy synthesizers.  a wonky beatbox.+
you pretended
that you liked us.  you pretended that you liked us.  you pretended that you liked us yeah.

silence! silence!

here's a final song with final whacked out brass band
you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us. 
you pretended that you liked us, yeah.  

such a shitty song and  such a shitty album.
you pretended that you liked us. you pretended
that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us yeah

2.5Amnesssiac(1)///Half of nothing, nothing of halfs/////2001

>We're the next act. You will hear our sound.

>We're the best thing 
	our computerized music's so profound.

>Singing 'bout knives out and
	some distorted static sound

We're all you need. We're all you need.

You're in the middle of our picture. Buying our CDs.

>It's all wrong. It's all right.
>It's all wrong. It's all right.
>Wait how could something so wrong
    be so right?
>It's so wrong. It's so right.

hail to the thief*52365435737474374374374733376437564375697569700

i guess we've seen the top   and fallen.  nowhere else to go. 
awesome, then we got too clever,  our fanbase would know.  
sometimes I get over-smart, that's when you see red.  they ask 
me where the hell i'm going?? i'm john cage the second
hey man slowdown.  idiots slow down.
Thomyorke003

Artist: Thom Yorke, Title: I made this when I was Drunk

1% Rainb0wszz*544338745787878648647865453ta1ksinmaths153

RADIOHEAD HAVE MADE A RECORD.
SO FAR, IT IS NOT ANY GOOD.

Two discs in a set I bet you think that’s pretty clever don’t you boy
We’re without a record label watching as our profits quickly drop
You’d kill yourself to buy the discbox; you’d kill yourself to ever pay for that
We broke another rule; We're turning into something that we fought

So please pay high
Don’t leave us dry

The songs on here are less depressing, but that really isn’t saying much
The album feels like broken pieces, the songs here simply do not measure up
We’re the ones who'll rip you when we make you scrounge and pay the forty pounds
We might as well just spit at you; you will be the one screaming out

So please pay high
Don’t leave us dry

It’s the worst thing that we’ve ever done; the worst thing that we’ve ever, ever done
It’s the worst thing that we’ve ever done; our good years really have since gone away 

nsdfhsdfj***sBmiL//Fo..gnIk_ ehT/4578457/ _/*2o11/

YOU         CAN'T         PLAY         IT         MORE         THAN         ONCE
IT               BRINGS               YOU               NO              PLEASURE

THOM            MUST            BE             TO           BLAME            FOR
THIS                  RECORD'S                 LAME                  DISTRACTORS
DARE               NOT                LET               JONNY               PLAY
DEDICATED                             TO                              MEDIOCRITY

BECAUSE      WE      RAN      OUT     OF     IDEAS      FOR      ROCK      SONGS
THE                      KING                       OF                      FAIL
BECAUSE     WE      RAN      OUT     OF     IDEAS      FOR      ROCK      SONGSS

R     E     C     O     R     D                  L     A     B     E     L     S
TAKE                      US                       WITH                      YER
IT'S YORKE'S NEW SOLO ALBUM

ggyf**discography

  • Enriqué Syrup (1993)
  • Decompression Sickness (1995)
  • Alright IBM (1997)
  • All That You Can't Leave BehindCommerical Suicide (2000)
  • Parachutes (2000)
  • Commercial Suicide, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo (2001)
  • A Rush Of Blood To The HeadHail to the Thief. ('Cuz Thom Stole Jonny's 'H'.) (2003)
  • In Gaynbows (2007)
  • Oxo-degradable Failure (2011)

see also*grr.arg.

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