Quizmania (Australia)

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Quizmania (Australia).

Screen Cap of Quizmania. It, along with many other pointless shows appear on Channel 9.

This is the Australian version of the show. For the British version, see Quizmania.
“It's just like the one from home - only more annoying.”
~ British Cricket Team on Quizmania

Yep. You heard right. Just when you thought that late night television could not get any worse we see this. Quizmania appear on the Nine Network (one of the few media companies in Australia not owned by Rupert Murdoch) at about midnight.

edit Origins

Quizmania in Australia has a long and colourful history. Starting on July 25th 2006 to compete with the show called The Up Late Game Show on the Ten Network (also not owned by Murdoch, actually now that I come to think about it NewsCorp doesn't own any television stations in Australia), so instead of trying to come up with a proper, viable, original show, the executives of network eddie just turned on their TV's, looked at what the poms were doing and just nicked a show from iTV.

They then went on to make it more annoying. It was axed in 2007, after someone won two cents, however replaced with the Mint Saga

Annoyingness will be covered later.

edit People who are on the show

People-Bored businessman

Amy is the most fun host of the show!

  • Amy Parks - Looks like one of the presenters from the British version. The Blonde one.
  • Nikki Osborne - A Brunette. Apparently is not the pornstar of the same name. Believed by some to be the best reason for watching the show.
  • Brodie Young - The token male. Started out on Channel 10 as something called an 'intruder' for the documentary Big Brother.
  • Maxine McKew, originally presenter on ABC's Lateline, before moving to Quizmanina rival laterline, then joining Quizmania
  • Random Crew member - A random member of the crew.
  • Random New People - two women who have not yet earned the right to be mentioned by name.

edit Format

Rather boring. People wandering around trying to get people to call and waste their money trying to get through.

Essentially the show is a game show, where viewers call in to answer questions for the hope of prize money. There are two types of questions on the show. Questions that are incredibly easy with a minute amount of prize money in order to trick viewers into calling in because they think the questions are easy, and questions that have decent prize money but the questions are deliberately impossible to answer (eg. Guess the word they are thinking of, and the hint is that the word has the letter A in it, meaning that there is an virtually infinite amount of words that it could be so the chances of guessing it are essentially nil, and they also can just say no to any answer you give them regardless of what it is until they decide to say someone is right to douse the suspicion that they are cheating).

The show is designed in such a way that they rarely let people on to answer the question. They just put you on hold for ages and never let you call in despite them having ample time to do so. They just take your call in money and give it the shmo that manages to get through and answer the question correctly.

edit Types of Questions

They are very easy,[1] like this:

"Who is the Prime Minister of Australia?
a. Kermit the Frog
b. John Howard
c. A shoe"

Or stupid, impossible to reasonably be expected to answer things called "Towers" where they just prolong the agony of watching. Some examples are:

  • Things starting with A
  • Things starting with B
  • Things starting with C, D, E etc.....
  • Just Anything in General!
  • Numbers between 3 and 499995.
  • Name colours that aren't the colour blue.
  • Name the countries that start with G

Controversy a show when during a tower game asking for "Boy Names starting with B" and caller answered "Rachel" and won the $1000 even though Rachel is not a boy's name and it starting with R, not B. The case was settled in the High Court of Australia. A rumour is spreading that if you can get the answers to the British version you can make thousands by getting through at the right time.

edit Viewers and Callers

Bored people2

Viewers getting excited by Quizmania

A recent survey of those that watched showed the following:

edit Demographics of viewers

  • 1% were insomniacs
  • 94% wanted to win money
  • 5% didn't care but wanted to perv on the girls. [1],[2]

Of that group 97% actually rang in. In total about 99% of the people were intoxicated, on drugs or both.

Those that called could be broken down to the following:

edit Who was calling

  • 0.5% were completely wrong numbers
These people would ring in asking if 'so and so' is there
  • 0.5% were prank calling the station
of which 0.001% was made up of the cast of the Chasers War on Everything
  • 3% callers of The Up Late Game Show and subsequently tried to answer the question with the wrong answer
  • 96% idiots, answering questions like "Cars made by Holden" with "Ford Falcon" or "Moons in the Solar System" with "Mars".

edit Names of People who call Qizmania

Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Brad, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer , Brad, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Brad, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-Bert, Phil, Brad, Briaden, Sharon, Darren, Wayne, Tyson, Bradon, Haydon, Pitball, Buster, Austin, Shadiamond, tanisha, Moniqua, Latuquia, Foung, Brad.

edit Annoyingness

Yes the show is annoying to begin with but then somehow it becomes even more annoying.

First we have the scenery. It is SOOO low budget and full of weird crap. It's a studio that is made to deliberately reveal the set that it is shot on, which is meant to make it look "Cool" but really just shows how cheap and unimaginative the designers are. But that isn't so bad. It's kind of like the money fans that they seem to get handed. They are both pointless.

But worst of all is the sound effects. The show has a soundman who is armed with a keyboard with plays different quotes depending on what button he pushes. Of course, the soundman bushing the same button over and over in rapid succession, making a soundclip that should just say "Triple Money" say, "Triple Money! Tri-tri-tri-tripp-tripp-tripp-triple-triple-triple triple money!"

Imagine in the "Speed Round" section where they are scamming people to call in by claiming to "take as many callers as they can" with it being "all about giving away cash" (while slapping back of their hand to the palm of the other one). You are there watching these people making fools of themselves and the idiots calling in and you have a voice saying "Speed Round" in the tone of a Gospel Singer, or that person that sang the song "I will Survive" or something like that.

The hosts of the show are also infuriating, as they can't act their way out of a paper bag. Since the show is live and therefore has to be entire has to be improvised, one would this it would be wise to hire professional improvisers, but instead the actors are made up of random people who were most likely found at a bus stop, which results in dialogue along these lines:

"Just pick up and call.. Err....... You call us on this number and you could win.... So yeah... Uh...... Call now... Call... Ummm....Ring up and win fantastic prize money......... Um....The winner could be you....uhhhhhh... Or someone you know........ Uh..... Call now....... Call........."

For those that like calling in to these shows it is important to note that the phone lines are probably broken. You know this when they start showing the Drew Carey Show.

edit How do I know it is a Scam

As we have already mentioned this show does not take many callers, even when they say in some segment called a "Speed Round" that they are taking as many callers as they can. In reality what they mean is that they want as many people to call so they can get some message that says that they have to try again costing them AU$0.55 (¥51.7) and they have to make another call.

Another thing that shows that it is a scam is that they phones stop working. You are still charged for the call but you don't even get the chance to guess.

Finally they use subliminal advertising to make people call. Typical subliminal message:

"just pick up the phone and give us a call.... YES it’s that easy... We have the phones on stand by waiting to take callers.... Just pick up the phone and call the number on the screen.... That money is just a phone call away.... YES, cold hard cash.... Cold hard cash.... So cold, yeah.... So just pick that phone up and give us a call.... It's that easy.... Picking up that phone and call.... Pick up.... Call.... Pick up.... Call...."

These are flashed on the screen like most subliminal messages. You may also find these played backwards or using other techniques that involve the English language (or Strine).

edit Quotes from Presenters

  • "Yes .............................................................. mmmmmmmmm............................................. errrrrr........... OK!"
  • "K, jobs starting with K!"
  • "You Wish, Jelly Fish"
  • "Is it noon already?"
  • "So send in your photos and we might just,....yeah.....so.......for a bit, ok yeah"
  • "OK.......... OK.......... OK.......... OK.......... OK.......... OK.......... OK.......... OK.......... OK.........."
  • "It seems the computers are gone down so don't call, but lets see if i can impersonate somebody............... No, I can't!"
  • "Hello Quizmania whos there? Braiden, Braiden where are you calling from? Umm... Brisbane, ahhh!!! BRIS-VEGAS!!!"
  • "Hello Quizmania whos there? Taylor, Taylor where are you calling from? Umm... Sydney, ahhh!!! SYD-VEGAS!!!"
  • "Hello Quizmania whos there? Jan, Jan where are you calling from? Umm... Melbourne, ahhh!!! MEL-VEGAS!!!"
  • "Hello Quizmania whos there? Mike, Mike where are you calling from? Umm... Las vegas, ahhh!!! LAS VEGAS-VEGAS!!!"
  • "Hello Quizmania whos there? Dave, Dave where are you calling from? Ummm... You don't even know where you live?"
  • "Were in a bonus round, waitin for a call! Weve got 2sec left and we have not had a call. Times Up Suckers!"
  • "Our systems down so please call. We Need Money!"
  • "Cheers Big-Ears"
  • "Cheers Big-Queers"
  • "Hello Quizmania Who's there..............................................................................................................Hello!"
  • "Get On That Bloz
  • 'Pwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

edit Quotes from Callers

  • "Hello, I'm Sid from Geelong. The answer is Uncle Toby's."
  • Caller immediately after: "Hello, I'm Bill from Rapeville. The answer is Uncle Toby's."
  • Next Caller, about 3 minutes later: "Hello, I'm Ray from Toowomba. The answer is Uncle Toby's."
  • Next Caller, as soon as the speed round starts, "Im John from Melbourne, the answers Uncle Tobys"
  • Next Caller, their still in a speed round "Hello, I'm Ray from Toowomba. The answer is Uncle Toby's."
  • Next Caller, their still in a speed round "Hello, I'm George from Eden. The answer is Uncle Toby's." (Host finally says answers correct)

edit Footnotes

  1. Note: For some callers these questions are quite challenging.

edit See also

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