Python (programming language)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Python, also known as compilable pseudocode, is a toy programming language. It emphasizes programmer efficiency over runtime efficiency, making it incompatible with modern computers, such as Commodore 64.
Python was developed by Guido van Rossum. Van Rossum was very disappointed by ABC, which "did not allow him to perform some main functions due to its complexity and lack of beauty" and thought that a new language would solve his problems. It is not clear, however, whether it is the ABC language that lacked beauty or its developer, whom van Rossum was known to frequent. It is also not clear which functions ABC failed to accomplish. Presumably, it was to store van Rossum's large collection of Dutch cheeses.
There are two hypothesizes about the origin of the language's name. Pythoners (Python's followers) believe that it was named after a famous English writer Montague Python Shakespeare, whose iambic pentameter poetry inspired the language's syntax. Critics claim that it was after van Rossum's pet animal. Indeed, the developer told the press that "his python devoured many of his rivals with their programming languages". Presumably, one of these was a Japanese researcher, called Matsumoto, who added some question marks to the code van Rossum was developing and called this new language "Ruby".
The fact that van Rossum also possesses a cobra, makes his followers think that he is also the developer of a programming language, named "Cobra". But these claims have never been justified by evidence. The researchers who tried to investigate the matter died, bitten by an unidentified snake.
Finally, after years of work with his pet animal, Python gained popularity. Van Rossum started calling himself Python's Blood-thirsty Dictator For Life, and while his fellow programmers agreed that he certainly deserved this title, they shortened it to BDFL, which is now often read as "Benevolent Dictator For Life".
Python is notable for its use of indentation.
|It may confuse at first, but it certainly helps the user to develop his talents, as after using Python for a while, it will be very easy for him to immediately perceive the difference between two and three spaces, an aptitude unavailable to so many others.|
- states a researcher, Ovangui Sumsord, in his two works: "Independent Investigation on Why Python Is Better Than Everything Else" and The Greatest Invention of the Humanity
To illustrate such use of indentation, Sumsord provides an example, which-- according to him-- was a program created by van Rossum himself, when he was a student. The program would ask for the name of the user's mother and give back the name of the person who slept with her. This very program was the cause of van Rossum's forced departure from his school and it is considered a masterpiece of programming as it contains only seven lines of code. This program (it was called "Investigation") could contain even less lines of code, if it didn't have the for loop. However, as it is used to illustrate the use of spaces in Python, van Rossum considered it important to leave everything.
However, it cannot be displayed here, due to privacy concerns of people mentioned in it.
There is also another example of Python's simple syntax, easy style and laconism. It is called "Hello World" and is placed in the first chapter of Python for Dummies (written by a team of Pythoners).
#Uncyclopedia "Hello World" #Quad Licensed under the GPLv3/BSD/Python/CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0 #THIS PROGRAM COMES WITH NO WARRANTY, BECAUSE WE'RE TOO STRESSED TO TROUBLESHOOT YOUR PROBLEMS x = 3 y = 5 if x + y = 8: import sys from sys import * import os from os import * import PySide from PySide import * import PySide.QtCore import PySide.QtNetwork import cmath import numpy import pypolynomial from pypolynomial import * import twisted from twisted import * import math from math import * while x = 3: class printerunitui(QtGui.QWidget) def __init__(self): if __name__=__main__: while y = 5: for 'x' = 'x': QtGui.QWidget.__init__(self) self.setWindowTitle('Printerunit') def metaprinterconsoleunit(): inval = input('Requires input') if inval = 'yes': messagestringconstantglobalvalue = 'Hello World' print(messagestringconstantglobalvalue) else: print('Fatal error') exit() printerunitui() metaprinterconsoleunit().exec() sys.exit()
edit "Pythonic propaganda"
After having used Python for some time, any programmer feels a strong discomfort when using any other computer language. This side-effect was van Rossum's personal idea. It is achieved by a constant enhancement of Python's special features. This method is being referred to as "Pythonic propaganda", as the user is often unaware of this enhancement or of his addiction to the language.
For instance, semicolons, very useful in other languages, are absent from Python. They can always be added to the program, but each new semicolon delays the code by half a second, when it is being run. The only explanation provided by van Rossum is that one of Python's most important principles is "Programmer efficiency over runtime efficiency" (see "Notes").
edit Python's philosophy
Guido van Rossum was also the inventor of five important aphorisms that Python uses. Each one was called a "Commandment" and is written on a special "Tablet". Every Pythoner (employee at Python) was supposed to know all the Commandments by heart and to pray to the Arc of Python (where all the Tablets are placed) every day before work started.
All Python's philosophy, which is referred to as Pythonism, could then be summarized by one quote from Huxley's Brave New World:
|There isn't any need for a civilized man to bear anything that's seriously unpleasant.|
Indeed, the aphorisms reinforced the importance of beauty of every worker at Python as well as of every user and simplicity of all the actions. However, Pythoners soon found these principles needlessly complicated and reduced them to one slogan: "Easy - good, everything else - bad". They did not care to restore the "beauty" principle, because all of the people employed by van Rossum were already physically attractive.
- ↑ According to Python's developer, Guido van Rossum. An Independent Investigation on Why Python Is Better Than Everything Else. Sumsord, Ovangui.
- ↑ Indeed, Python's runtime efficiency is almost nil. The Greatest Invention of the Humanity. Sumsord, Ovangui.
- ↑ In particular of one town local, who played a major role in the program, as he was known for not being able to sleep at the same place.
- ↑ "Beautiful is better than ugly" and "Readability counts". From A Short Introduction to the Best Thing Humans Have Ever Made. Sumsord, Ovangui.
- ↑ "Explicit is better than implicit", "Simple is better than complex" and "Complex is better than complicated". From A Short Introduction to the Best Thing Humans Have Ever Made. Sumsord, Ovangui
- ↑ If You Want To Be Successful, Believe in Python. Sumsord, Ovangui.