Pwned

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Pwnshop

The humble Pwn Shop, where it all began.

What is pwned?

You!

Pwned, also typed as Pwnd or Pwnd! is a phrase accidentally made up by a young child playing online world of warcraft who had just defeated an army of over 100 others and was attempting to describe to them what he had just done. Many people mistook Pwned for a real word although the child was in reality reaching for the "O" and instead found the "P"

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Pwned.

More about Pwned

Variations of how Pwned came to be

Some people believe that pwned was not first used on world of warcraft but was made up by Al Gore when he invented the internet. Due to unfortunate circumstances Al Gore had broken his keyboard and there was no "O" on it so after he sent Will Smith into outerspace to take out the aliens he sent a message to the mothership and rather than telling the aliens that they were about to be OWNED he told them they would be PWNED, Will Smith overhearing this phrase decided he liked it and would promote it. He then saw to it that Wikipedia added a definition for it and even went as far as making t-shirts and sending the sponsors of the word "OWNED" hate mail stating that "PWNED" was way better

Still others believe that it was not world of warcraft or Al Gore that invented Pwned but a prison guard with no teeth attempting to say that the prisoners were "Boning" one another. Instead the warden heard "PWNING" so he assumed they were beating rather than engaging in sexual behaviors. The warden then... (insert here everything written above that Will Smith supposedly did)

.
Pwned4

This guy has not had a good day; someone stole his face... then, his dog, disgusted by the sight of this faceless man, went on a rampage... on his lap

.


Difference between Pwned and Owned according to Will Smith... maybe

Pwned according to defintions should be used when Owned just isn't strong enough. For example if you were kicked in the balls you were Owned. Now say instead of getting kicked in the balls with just an ordinary shoe, there were spikes on it and instead of it just hurting they were actually torn open, now you have been PWNED!


What you should do when you are PWND

Follow these steps and everything should be okay

See above that the word "SHOULD" is used and not "WILL" the reason for this is that we are not gurateeing that you will be okay. If you have been PWNED this is a very serious, non-laughing matter.

  1. Pretend you didn't hear the word at all.
  2. If you've been obviously PWNED, and you can't pretend to not hear it hang your head in shame and immediately walk towards the nearest dark place.
  3. Once you've arrived in the dark place and are well out of the sight of anyone you should begin to figure out how it was that you managed to let yourself get PWNED
  4. Contemplate suicide momentarily
  5. Decide suicide is not worth it and that you will make a come back
  6. To come back from being PWNED you will need to do something Super awesome, like invent the internet-- which incase you wondered you cannot do because it has already been done.
Pwned2.0

After someone is kicked in the nuts, it is traditional to yell "Pwned!!".

Edit:There is only one way to prevent being laughed at post-pwned. Get Laid. None of your friends have scored on anything but that FPS or RPG you play in your bedroom with the curtains closed. If you have a female/male then your friends will bow down to you and you will technically pwn them in the real world.

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