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Puffin being peer-pressured into jumping off a cliff.

The Puffin (Fratercula Arctica) is an flightless seabird developed in 1962 as a Northern Alternative to the Penguin by the Northern Hemisphere Supremacist group, 'SHIITO' (Southern Hemisphere Is Inferior To Ours), whose headquarters were based in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire (now relocated to the World Puffin Heritage Site of St Kilda, offshore Scotland).

A Northern Sucess

Its conception came as a Northern response to Southern claims that the South had the stupidest looking animals and wildlife in the north was just plain boring. Puffins were regarded by Northern Hemispere Supremacists as a great success, occupying the same ecological niche as the Penguin, but looking every bit as stupid as popular Southern animal species such as the Platypus and the kangaroo.

Disaster of '74

Disaster fatefully struck in 1974 when an unusually hot summer caused scores of Puffins to dig burrows into the soft clifftops of the Atlantic Shores in search of cooler conditions. They haven't been seen since. Rumours that they dug all the way down to the Southern Hemisphere, where their garish beaks and camp walks were more acceptable have been disregarded as false in discerning ornithological circles.

Puffin Trivia


This is a puffin

This is not bread

This is not...

how old is a puffin. do puffins die do puffins eat dandruff do puffins know how to make pizza how many hand bags do puffins carry do puffins have headlights are most puffins delicious do they have hair on there beak are they furious fyi they mate 10 times a day and eat human feces

See Also

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