Psylocke

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Psylocke
Psylocke WG(jpeg)

Psylocke: Fattest member of the X-Men.


Psylocke
PublisherMarvel Comics
First appearanceThe Uncanniest X-Men #238 (In her Brittish form)
The Uncanniest X-Men #281 (In her Asian form)
The Uncanniest X-Men Annual #12 (In her fat, Brittish speaking, Asian body form).
Created byChris Claremont
Statistics
Real nameElizabeth "Betsy" Braddock
StatusProbably off eating and gaining more weight. That or sumo fighting someone/thing as you read this.
AffiliationsX-Men
Previous affiliationsBrittish, Japenese, and American Sumo Leagues.
Maxie Shiffman
Exiles
Notable aliasesWonton Betsy, Lucy Liu
Notable relativesCaptain Britain (Brother)
Notable powers
  • Super obesity
  • Telepathy
  • Power to produce a purple "Psy-blade" on her hands
  • Super strength due to her great mass

Betsy originally got her start as an extra on Monty Python's Flying Circus. She had died her hair purple to make herself stand out; even more so than the fact that she was a mutant. Not very inconspicuous of her, is it? She was then contacted by Spider-Man's former agent, Maxie Shiffman, and asked to be a lingerie model for Layne Bryant in America which paid its models a dollar for every pound by the hour per each photo shoot. At that time, though, Betsy was a mere 120 pounds. Sure, she was a telepath and could make people think she was fat, but she couldn't fool the camera. She was going to have to get fat naturally.

In order to cash in on this once in a life time oppurtunity, Betsy sought to gain weight, and fast, before the recently fattened Mary Jane Watson got the job. She decided to turn to the fattest being she could find (Aside from Michael Moore, who was away filming a movie at the time); someone who knew a thing or two about being fat and gaining weight: The Blob. But much to her dismay, she later found out his fat came naturally due to his mutant powers. But luckily for her, he still loved to eat, so she took it upon herself to copy his eating habits.

edit Asian Betsy with Brittish Accent

Before she could begin her crash course in eating, the Blob accidentally sat on Betsy's body since he was too fat so see where he was sitting. Since she was now paralyzed from the neck down, she instructed her sensai in eating habits to find a psychic powerful enough to transfer her mind into a new body.

He set out to find the most powerful psychic he could find; an old enemy: Professor X. Since he obviously couldn't run away from him, Blob was able to easily kidnap Professor X and bring him to fix Betsy's disablement. He said he'd help Betsy, but only if she later agreed to join his X-Men. She accepted, and the three began to think of a suitable body doner. They eventually settled on someone who wasn't important or busy at the time, so they went with Lucy Liu, which would explain why she never appears in movies or TV shows anymore. Following the mind transferral, Betsy still retained her Brittish accent, which Professor X and Blob both agreed made her all the hotter (Whatever happened to Lucy Liu's mind is unknown as of the present time). There was still the problem of her looking too much like Lucy Liu, so she decided to dye her hair purple like her old British body had and used make-up to hide her freckles.

She then went on to join the X-Men for some time, using her telepathy, as well as her newly developed reflexes powers she had acquired from Lucy Liu (Which included a psy-blade)to aid the team. She used her psy-blade when not busy to give the hairiest X-Men members, Beast and Wolverine, hair-cuts from time to time.

edit Fat Asian Betsy with Brittish Accent

One day, she unexpectedly received a call from her old agent Maxie Shiffman, asking if she was still interested in the Layne Bryant job. She'd completely forgotten due to joining the X-Men, and said she was still interested. She then took a leave of abscence from the X-Men. Not wanting to be squashed by the Blob again, she set off for Japan with Wolverine to train with the best Sumo wrestlers they could find; she brought Logan along since he had been to Japan umpteen times and knew his way around (Both in Japan and around the ladies).

As he usually does in Japan, Wolverine fought some Yakuza and Hand ninjas. Why he was doing so was uncertain (As it usually is), so she was forced to set off alone to find some Sumo wrestlers. After hitting up a few local buffets, she managed to find the fattest of the Sumo wrestlers she could find. She spent weeks, if not months eating like them, which eventually began to show. Before she knew it, she weighed at the very least, a half ton. She found it somewhat hard to move until the Sumos showed her how to use her weight to her advantage; she was soon able to do so better than Oprah Winfrey.Since achieving this, she came to love her fat and the power it brought with it. In order to pay for her plane ticket home, she fought in an all ladies Sumo circuit until she had enough cash. She had forgot Wolverine, but with his his power of being able to turn up in almost every Marvel Comics book on a monthly basis, it wasn't long until he was back home.

When she made it home, she was let down to find out that Ashley Crawford, AKA Big Bertha (A model with the mutant power to turn fat at will), had gotten the job. She went back to the X-Men, keeping her new weight (And adding to it with lots of fatty foods and calories frequently), and going on to become known as the fattest of X-Men and the Exiles, a team of reality hopping heroes. Why she joined the Exiles is unknown, but probably due to Exiles's writer (And Psylocke creator) Chris Claremont's obsession with characters and concepts he created. After his regime was defeated, Claremont was drug off to the Days of Future's Past time-line by angry, reality hopping Sentinels for having wrote that the X-Men prevailed in stopping their future for ever occuring. His fate is unknown. The super fat, sumo wrestling, Asian, Brittish speaking telepath known as Psylocke has since returned to the X-Men, while continuing to eat frequently and partake in sumo fights in her free time.

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