From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Where the fuck are the controller ports on a cellphone!?!?!”
Hmm! I see you are reading this article, am I right? Know this - I know and feel your every thought, for I am Psycho Mantis!
This is no trick. IT'S TRUE POWER. You don't believe me? Very well. I can see the title of the magazine next to you, you filthy person--and I can see those thoughts of yours... about your own mother, too. Disgusting. You are a human parasite, overwhelmed by your instinctual desire to spread one's seed. You also have not saved often. You are very careless. Would you like to walk the long hard road again, if you die? I thought not.
What else...? Oh yes. Use both hands when scrolling, it's only respectful. Sickening little gene-spreader, breeding like an animal. Anyway. You like video games, I am sure of that. Do you like Metal Gear? Don't believe me? I can feel you don't believe me. You think it is some random person typing this out. Your cynicism is refreshing, but unrewarding. I shall continue! You also enjoy table tennis and secretly looking up porn on the net or viewing the web pages of sex shops and you do a little kitten huffing every weekend! How do you feel about my power now?!
You don't like table tennis? I can see into your mind, your deepest wants, your deepest fears. I am in a better position to know than you with all your suppressed complexes and memories.
Oh, you wish to know about me? Well, then... I shall tell you. I wear this mask to allow me to filter out thoughts forcing their way into my mind, I do not like fire, and my favorite celebrity is Marilyn Manson. You also think this page should have a quote on it from whomever the latest celebrity to be parodied on this website may be, but why should I give that to you? You sicken me. WHERE is your memory card?
I reach into your very thoughts, and you still don't believe...?
Very well. I shall show you the true extent of my power!
I can see your every desire, <insert name here>' - I am PSYCHO MANTIS!!!'
I shall now demonstrate my power!!
Did you see any arousing Snake/Otacon yaoi? No? And you tried highlighting the blank space and then the entire article, didn't you? There.
Do you believe me now? Can you feel my power now?! Very well. The demonstration...is over!!
“I warned you that certain console features don't port over to older PC's!”
“I am going deeper into your edit history... into your soul. You really don't know proper spelling and grammar do you?”