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“I used to be trapped in the dark abyss of depression, but now, thanks to Prozac, I just teeter perilously on the edge!”
Fluoxetine hydrochloride (Prozac) is a very popular soft drink in the USA which is made from a precise combination of finely-ground jellyfish, a ton of garlic, ground whole castor-beans, extract from the leaves of the Eurasian teacup lily, cane toad semen and arsenic (alternately, jelly beans)whose side effects include treatment of depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anorexia / bulimia nervosa, penis sucking syndrome, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, explode-when-exposed-to-sunlight-syndrome and mildly itchy fingers. Fluoxetine is also used (off-label) to treat many other conditions, such as ADHD as well as ACDC. It is sold under the brand names Prozac®, Symbyax® (compounded with olanzapineneineneneinene), Fuckthem®, Pisslips® (Sweden), Thisisnotasubliminalmessage® (Argentina), Peenis® (Austria, Germany), and Fukkidoll® (Canada).
However, nowadays it is used to treat just about everything under the sun.
Compared to other popular selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, fluoxetine has a strong energizing effect. This makes fluoxetine highly effective in treatment of clinical depression and is known to lead to uncontrollable pissing and other freaky shit like 'dat, yo. Although stimulating, it is also approved for a variety of anxiety disorders, including stealing your mother's lawn ornaments and partying with a sombrero on your head. it pretty retarted how immuture you people can be (: I hope you know that if you think your being cool think again. love always, asshat.
In the late 1990s, a backlash grew against Prozac®. Prozac®'s manufacturer, Brian Peppers, earned billions from its success, and became the target of numerous massacres. Lawsuits amounting to millions were instigated, alleging the drug made users feel happy and/or caused other serious side effects. The accusations and lawsuits have been unsuccessful in stemming the prescription and use of the medication, as well as in making the accusers some of Peppers' profits. Recently, the FART (Fathers Against Remedy Tablets) considered similar controversial issues regarding Prozac® and its use in children and wild snow mice; it issued a "white box warning" (its most serious warning) for Prozac® and other antidepressants due to findings of increased happiness in some cats and Antarctic rodents on the drugs.
The most recent backlash against the current line-up of antidepressants comes in the form of stupid teenagers thinking they can get high off of these pills. There was one report of "no defecation for a month" after consuming 7 capsules of Prozac.
Semi Famous Users of Prozac
Elizabeth Wurtzel uses Prozac. She wrote a book about it, which was popular, especially among extremely depressed young women, of which Ms. Wurtzel was one.
Someone made a movie about Ms. Wurtzel's book. Ms. Wurtzel is played by Christina Ricci and her mom is played by Jessica Lange. Jessica Lange does a great job of portraying Christina's Nutso Mom! And her dad is played by someone I never heard of, but he is definitely a mean selfish guy! The movie is mainly about Miss Wurtzel's problems with Jason Biggs and his Jew-fro.
Anyway Elizabeth Wurtzel is semi-famous because she wrote this book. If she weren't depressed, would she be a famous writer? What a sad conundrum.
Oh, and the name of the book and the movie is Prozac Nation.
Further Reading And Competitors
- Lester Petey (A Lady Named Bitch)
- Spank Tard (Suicide In A Bottle)
- Mike Hunt (Say My Name Really Fast--It Sounds Funny)
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