From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“People are beginning to be over-educated. If we keep going like that, there will be nobody left who is capable of learning”
Progress is the advance in the struggle for the elimination of intelligence.
edit Historical Perspective
Progress was preceded by a very long period of evolution where intelligence originated and developed in an uncontrolled manner during millions of years.
After the original emergence, the history of humannity has been characterized in thelast few thousandsa of years by the gradual elimination of intelligence through a variety of means, outstanding amongst them Religion, Education and Management Science , particularly Leadership.
edit Western Progress
The West has been clearly superior in its elimination of intelligence, when compared to other regions of the World.
Later, the responsibility for continuing to diminish the presence of intelligence in society was taken over by Governments; this lasted for most of History till the Twentieth Century where Business Corporations have taken over the responsibility for the stupidization of Human Resources, also called Leadership.
Recently, the West has progressed to such an extent that it has realised that there is no such thing as progress. Great philosophers such as Derrida, Foucault and Kenny have recognised that there is really no such thing as progress. This is known as counter-enlightenment theory. This theory has demonstrated that scientific 'discoveries', such as gravity and the horseshoe, are merely ways of the white capitalist patriarchy asserting their domination over subaltern groups. Scientific 'inventions', such as the internal combustion engine and the earphone, simply provide a gendered means in which the heteronormative phallogocentric order is maintained. Political 'freedoms' such as freedom of speech and freedom of the press are probably in reality more repressive than the medieval Christian Church ever was. It is also false to claim that modern-day mental hospitals, with their drugs and therapy, are kinder to the mentally-ill than the lunatic asylums with their chains and mustard. If anything, the latter were probably more kind because they only affected the body, not the mind.
In short, Gramsci warns us that the idea of any kind of progress occurring is merely a foil for the evil capitalist state to tighten its claws around us.
A number of players of Civilisation have recently tried to adopt counter-enlightenment strategies into their game plan. Much to their chagrin, they discovered that avoiding scientific discovery, urban growth and military development tends to lead to quick destruction by aggressive Indian elephants or sexy Russian Cossacks. Although this has led some to question the validity of counter-enlightenment theory, for most it has simply affirmed that Civilisation itself is merely a product of the heteronormative phallogocentric order of the white capitalist patriarchy, and one that invested heavily in the progress myth. After all, Sid Meier is a Israeli who comes from Detroit and whose real name is Moses Sidish Mezar-Kantaris.
edit Resistance and Incorporation of Eastern Civilization
The most important historical development of the Western struggle to incorporate Eastern civilization into its own progress was the Opium war. The first and greatest Drug Cartel in History was created by Great Britain with the support of all the major Western Powers and eventually succeeded in the Coaching of IMperial CHina.
This was provoked by the inadmissible display of intelligence by the Chinese in selling Tea and Spices to the West accepting only silver in exchange.