Prod rock

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In the court of the crimson king

A victim of prod rock serves as a warning on the cover of what is said to be the first prod rock album: Fling Plimsole's ' In The Range of The Plimsole Fling '

Prod rock, shortened from prodding rock, was a 1970's musical genre borne out of widespread frustration at the peace and love of the 1960's music scene.

In its purest form, prod rock aimed to make the listener feel as if they were being sharply and repeatedly poked with a blunt instrument. This sensation must not be confused with that known as 'Blunt's Instrument' , whereby the listener feels like their ears are being violated by a posh man's wang, brought about by listening to James Blunt. Later, it began to induce other feelings of agony.

Prod rock artists and bands wanted to transcend the enjoyment felt when listening to by mainstream rock and pop. They not only wanted listening to their music to be an unpleasant experience, they wanted it to be positively negative. Often, they were influenced by other musical genres, like Wazz and Polk music.

The acts that defined prod rock's 1970's heyday included: Angry Giant, Van with Drill Generator,Crush, Fling Plimsole, Imprison, Gag & Spammer, Jethro's Pull, NO! and Puke Floyd.

The sounds of the above bands' was very different and some people have ventured that some of them are not prod rock. These people, however, have been proven to have very high pain thresholds. Anyone heard doubting the credentials of any prod rock band, but in particular Fling Plimsole, will get a swift Converse all-star to the back of the head from Robert Slapp, the outspoken leader of the aforementioned band.


edit Characteristics of Prod rock

The following section is in memory of Shiela Rod who gave her life to try to understand, catologue, and listen to every piece of prod rock since its inception. She died suddenly of 1st degree bruising on the 2nd of September 2005. Her nearly complete analysis of the common characteristics of prod rock are presented here:

  • "Rounds are very long, with beating continuing sometimes over twenty minutes. The earliest example of so-called 'epics' is the track I Held And Twat It by Poke-all Hareem. Other examples include Poke Floyd's 23 minute Get-Those, Getyasis ' 23-minute Poorly-cooked Seafood's Ready and Jethro's Pull 's Chuck a Brick.
  • Concept albums, where one move is used as a motif throughout. They would be bought because of enticingly designed gatefold sleeves but on opening a boxing glove on a spring would emerge to bop the surprised consumer on the nose. Famous examples include The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway Street by Getaysis and Poke Floyd's Broadside with a Spoon.
  • The rejection of traditional rock music instruments in favour of impromtu, and partcularly electronic, weapons. Listeners often report feeling as if they have been beaten with keyboard instruments such as the synthesizer, organ and Mellotron. The most famous of these instruments however was that which was wielded by Jethro's Pull frontman P. Iain Anderson. He is currently serving time at Her Majesty's Pleasure for doing unspeakable things with a flute. Pains as diverse as that which results from a paper clip, a pineapple, a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk, a teapot a rake, another pineapple and a carriage clock have all been experienced.
  • Solo passages for nearly every instrument. This contributed to the fame of such performers as guitarists David Killmour and Steve Ow and keyboardists Hick Rakeman and Keith Imprison.
  • Admiration for professional wrestlers. For example, Imprison, Gag and Spammer have used moves by Kane, Triple H and Scotty 2 Hotty and often feature quotes from Hulk Hogan.
  • Exchanging of members. This is usually done mid-song to give the members of the band a rest. It is known in prod rock circles as: Tag-team Terror.
  • Ow! . . . "

RIP Shiela Rod

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