Princess Daisy
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“She's nowhere near as much of a bitch as Princess Peach is. And thankfully, I wasn't informed that she's in another castle.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Princess Daisy
“Yeah right, I'm not as much of a tomboy as her!”
~ Peach on Princess Daisy
“I died before I created her”
~ The creator of Daisy on Daisy
“Let's kill Shigeru Miyamoto!”
~ Koopa on something unrelated
Princess Daisy, also known as The Tomboy Formerly Known As Daisy (b. April 11, 1979), is the ruler of Monaco (now Sarasaland) and the sexy tomboy who hates getting kidnapped, and loves raping her enemies and getting raped, especially Bowser if she gets kidnapped and/or raped. Being a tomboy, she appeared in Super Mario Land in 1989 just as she was captured.
Contents |
[edit] History
[edit] Early life
Daisy was born in a palace in Monaco in 1969. When she was young she would travel to the Mushroom Kingdom to play with her childhood friend Princess Peach. But she would always get kidnapped by Bowser and his family. At the age of six, she became ruler of Monaco. Unlike Peach, Daisy was quite peaceful and was very sporty. Because of that, she became a tomboy all her life as a result of behaving boyish (in a way that she likes to do men's stuff). Often people have wondered aloud on how on mushroom kingdom Daisy could be friends with such a cow as Princess Peach.
[edit] Teenage Years
“She started to become more tomboyish. I bet that she will become a lesbian when she gets older”
~ Daisy's friends on Daisy
Because she was very tomboyish, many of her enemies, especially Boweser, tried to kidnap her, but they always get beaten and raped. But Daisy didn't become a lesbian. She became a bisexual princess, because of her preferred choice of both males and females. She started going out with Luigi at the age of 16. Luigi, being scared, always feel safe with Daisy. Princess Daisy first experienced sex when after she won a bike race, she had sex with Luigi after a dance. Her friends were stunned to see that not all tomboys become lesbians when she went out with Luigi. When she was 25, she saw Princess Peach selling drugs to minors. Daisy set a good example by giving a good whup-ass on Peach. Peach later regretted. Princess Daisy first appeared in Super Mario Land in 1989, at the end of the Cold War.
[edit] Celebrity period
In 1993, Daisy starred in a movie called Super Mario Bros. Originally, they casted Princess Peach, but she was kidnapped anyway, so they picked Princess Daisy instead. Although the movie is popular in the Mushroom Kingdom, everywhere else in the world, the movie was said to be one of the worst ever. In an interview in 2005, Daisy said that her worst movie she was in is her first one. She starred in the movie Speed in 1996, and it was successful. The last movie she starred in was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. And that was the end of her shittiest career: acting.
[edit] Assassination Attempt
In March on 1990, Daisy was shot by a sniper rifle on her yacht. The bullet pierced the princess' eye and lodged deep within her brain, however the bullet did not kill her. The only other person to witness this crime was the pussy, Toad, who ran away at the scene, claims that he saw the Fat son of a bitch shoot her. Daisy was then comatose for three years (this explains her three year absence from the Mario series). When Daisy awoke in 1993, she found a man ready to violate her so she slammed his head repeatedly with a door and stole his car. The bullet has left her right eyeless and the bullet has jogged her brain giving her an IQ of 358. Daisy currently has a right glass eye.
suck my ass >3< no more death note suspensions.!!! I am sick and tired of all these mother fuc@$&ng snakes!
[edit] Motherhood/Pregnancy/WTF??
In 1993, while she was sleeping, Princess Daisy was kidnapped by Bowser. When Mario and Luigi arrived to rescue her, they discovered that she had sex with Bowser. Although she claims the sex was Non-Consensual a homemade porno had confirmed otherwise. As a result, Daisy became pregnant and gave birth to Bowser Jr., who would later be ruling Bowser's army with Bowser. Elmo impregnated Princess Daisy shortly after making Princess Peach pregnant. Daisy now has her first child with Luigi, a girl she named Xena Gwendolyn Mario, who will be the next on the throne. Bert had also fucked her up many times, only one pregnancy being successful (Robby Rotten was born but was abandoned at birth and adopted by homosexuals).
[edit] Hobbies
Apart from playing tennis, motorbike racing, cycling, rugby and soccer, Princess Daisy also plays poker and strip poker with her frineds every week, including Princess Peach, Amy Rose, Paris Hilton and Jackie Chan. Anyone who made contact must run like hell. It is said that Daisy also competes in wrestling in WWE.
WARNING: Daisy may look innocent and sweet but she's a tomboy! She may end up raping you instead, or kicking your ass one or the other.
[edit] Daisy dates mario?
You might think Daisy dates Luigi but she doesn't anymore sine October 2009. That is because Luigi found out that Princess Peach was free and Luigi dumped Daisy for Peach. And now all Daisy does now is scream at her cat named Frazzle Dazzle and talks about her feelings to her pet bunny named CuppieCake. Due the bunny's name Mario wants to eat it. On November 19th he finally caught the bunny and ate it. Since he has made everyone made everyone sad, mad, upset, and everything else he was kicked out of the castle. Since Mario is so fat he couldn't get off the second floor and when peach told him to go he fell through the floor. And right under him was Luigi. When Peach was yelling at him they where making up. Now he in h*** because he did very bad things in his life.Things you don't want to know.
[edit] The food in Daisy's Castle
Princess Peach has tons of wonderful things to eat at her castle like Kentucky Fried Mushrooms, Long John Mushroom, and ect. Now Daisy is so pissed that Peach so named after so many restraunts. Daisy is only named after Daisy Scream and McDaisy (bu bu bu bu bu i puking it). Daisy went to Peach's castle and shot Peach. Now Fat Mario is hungry and sad. Daisy is happy because both Fat Mario and Luigi want to be her boyfriend. 500 years later after Peach's death Daisy went to go pick flowers near Peach's castle( btw Mario characters never die or age). Daisy saw something behind her.......a floating gun (the same gun she had shot Peach with). And ghost Peach shot Dasiy. Now Peach beats the sh** out of Daisy. Now Mario is married to Luigi (gross) and they lived happily ever after...or will they?
[edit] People Who Kidnapped Princess Daisy
- Bowser
- Wario
- Dr. Robotnik
- Bert
- League of Super Evil
- Big Bird
- Timmy Turner
- Miles Edgeworth
- Ted Bundy
- Waluigi
[edit] See Also
- Mario
- Luigi
- Toad
- Bowser Koopa
- Another Castle®
- James Earl Jones
- Mushroom Kingdom
- Super Mario Brothers
- Princess SP1900
- Princess KTT
- Princess Peach
