Prince.org

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Prince.org is a forum that exists in the sole purpose of hating, disrespecting, criticizing and insulting the musician Prince, his collaborators and, when possible, everyone else on the planet except for the website's moderators.

History

Prince.org was formed in 1998 by a nice guy named Ben and originally was supposed to be a fansite, which it remained until the mid 2000's. After that, Ben decided to become a Metallica fan instead and he gave up the keys to his website to immoderate moderators. After a few years, Prince started to become famous and popular again and the moderators couldn't stand that they were not an elite of Prince worshippers anymore, so they called everyone who disliked Prince on the forum and everyone started bitching together. They eventually decided that the site was still too open minded and subject to too much freedom of speech, so in 2007, they made a poll asking the forum members who was considered the most stupid people on the forum. Then, they offered the poll winners to become moderators too.

Available Forums

  • "Prince, insult his music and insult him even more": This forum is devoted to the hate of Prince and everything he does. That's where people can claim the Holy Truth: Prince's music is a disaster except when he plays rock music, and Prince is an insane man, blabbering bullshit all the time. Serious threads about Prince's music are tolerated but generally locked after a few weeks.
  • "Music, non Prince": This forum is devoted to praising other artists and claiming how superior they are to Prince, particularly Radiohead.
  • "Org artists community": This forum is where non-hating people are sent so they can still use the website without being a nuisance to other members.
  • "Concerts": This section is the forum where people can complain about Prince's concerts: how hard it is to get tickets, how expensive said tickets are, how ugly Larry Graham is when on stage, how Prince should only play Purple Rain and no other song when on stage, even if he has to play it 17 times in order to provide a full-lengh show...
  • "Fan gathering": This is the "sex for geeks" forum.
  • "LotuScam discussion": This forum is there so people can complain about Prince's official website and say how crappy it is and how much a scam it is and wonder why their 1995 computer cannot easily surf on a high tech website designed for Windows Vista.
  • "Associated artists and people": This thread is where people can say how unpleasant, brainless and poor music players Prince's musicians, protégés, larrygrahams and friends are. Ex or present girlfriends/wives such as Robin Power, Mayte Garcia, Manuela Testolini and Bria Valente are generally targeted more than others and dozens of threads are created just for the sake of flaming them. Forum members can also ask about the fate of ex-musicians. For exemple, many will ask "what became of André Cymone now?" every day and get the same answer every time: "He's using the bathroom" and keep asking just in case he would eventually do something else than being in a bathroom.
  • "The marketplace, for slavetrade/sell": This is where collectors can exchange, buy and sell Prince records and collectibles that they will look at but never listen to. A new purpose to this section is now to sell/trade female fans who are under 17 and really love Prince: in echange for the promise to meet Prince these girls will do everything!
  • "General discussion": This forum is devoted to endless discussions about generals in military history, particularly the generals in the US Army.
  • "Politics and religions": This forum never had a thread in the 11 years the website existed, but they keep it there just for fun...
  • "Prince.org discussion": This is where members can try to discuss the things they dislike in the website and be remembered immediately that unless they want to be banned, there is NOTHING to discuss, period! Worshipping moderators is another purpose of this section.

Forum rules, as stated by the moderators

  • The moderators are living gods. They are always right and any member who would even hint that they might be wrong on something will be banned immediately. They shall never ever explain why they make a decision when they make one.
  • The moderators are not, should not and NEVER will be friendly to forum members. For one thing that would probably make said members run away in terror. Any remark made to a member will be made in the most unpleasant possible way.
  • Threads that seriously discuss Prince's music and encourage research on his career and discography are not encouraged and will never be made "stickies" no matter how documented they are. To avoid too much of them, they will be locked after a few weeks. Manuela Testolini is a slut.
  • Any thread can and will be closed by a moderator if said moderator doesn't like it, or just if the moderator is in a bad mood when he reads it, no matter how interesting it is to other forum members. Asking for a thread to be restaured will result in being banned. Asking for a banned member to be unbanned will result in being banned. For that matter, asking anything to a moderator will most likely result in being banned so just leave them alone.
  • Except for ex musicians Wendy & Lisa who became famous enough to bring more members to the forum, and ex drummer Michael Bland, who's strong enough to kick anyone's ass, any Prince collaborator who would gently contribute to the forums can and should be insulted by members. Particularly Robin Power, who's nothing but a stupid bitch.
  • Insults towards Prince and his collaborators are highly encouraged, particularly towards his puny female protégées. Members should first keep in mind that none of these very beautiful women would ever date a prince.org member or moderator and that's reason enough to hate these sluts. Members should never suggest that Prince made a record with a woman because she can actually sing: it's only because she's cute and stupid and besides Prince likes to listen to women who have no voice because that's a sexual fantasy of his.
  • Any member who would insult another member because said member insulted Prince or a Prince protégé will be banned immediately. Mayte Garcia is a whore.
  • Moderators tolerate multiple account but they KNOW who has them because they have a magic machine that can read IP addresses even when they are hidden through the use of proxy servers. Thanks to their telepathic powers, moderators can also recognize an user's "psychic aura" if he happens to connect from several IP addresses such as work and home, so there is no need to try to cheat: we've got your number now fools, no more candies for multiple accounts!
  • Any disrespect towards Prince and his collaborators is freedom of speech. Any disrespect towards hating members or moderators is rude and won't be tolerated. Bria Valente is a mentally retarded person.
  • All prince.org moderators have been genetically modified so they lost all sense of humor. They don't even remember what humor is. So don't try, just don't.
  • No member should ever imply that Prince is a free man who doesn't owe everything to his fans. Prince.org members should aim to convince Prince that he must do what his fans ask him to do, record the music they want him to record, tour when they want him to tour, open the doors to the Vault and legally allow his fans to dispose of everything inside, have sex with gay fans and, more importantly, become an atheist because there is no God and we are alone in this world...

One last rule has been created in early september 2009, after Prince apparently chose a Youtube user, named Shelbey, to become his "VJ" and regularly post live videos of his:

  • Shelbey and her Youtube channel are the worst thing that ever happened in the whole world since the beginning of human history, much worse than Hitler, Mao and Stalin altogether! That girl is a liar and a crook, the videos she posts are bootlegs and she is the devil, she must be hated every day for at least 15 minutes by every member who should spit on her picture while shouting insults and deathwishes. Any mention of her or the videos she posts is highly prohibited in the forums, and will be punished by being banned immediately.

Legal problems

  • For years, Prince has tried to close the website, which is an absolute scandal that shocked the entire internet community. Other websites such as Housequake.com were guilty of copyright infringment and anyway they were nothing but naive fans who thought Prince was both a good guy and a musical genius and who had very serious conversations about his music and discography and recording sessions, so it was natural that Prince would want to close them. On the other hand, since there's no copyright infringement, why would an artist want to close a website where his friends are called assholes every day, where his wife is called a stupid bitch every hour and where the artist himself is called the worse motherfucking crook on earth every minute???!!! Prince is, obviously, a fascist, if not a nazi.
  • Legal troubles are an additionnal reason why VJ Shelbey is such a touchy topic on the org: while most users think she is just an impostor who posts bootlegged videos, most moderators believe that she is part of a malicious plot by Prince and his lawyers to close the org. The theory, which makes perfect sense, is that Prince indeed sends videos to Shelbey, hoping that the moderators will believe her and post links to her videos. Prince would then prosecute the org, claiming that he never gave these videos to Shelbey in the first place and that the links constitute copyright infringment. For this, the moderators think they might be deported to the Guantanamo jail in order to serve a lifetime sentence without a trial, so, you know...

Warning

Please note that since this is a wiki site, any Prince.org moderator who would run into this article will delete it immediately.

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