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Lets see, Heinz beans (beep), Heinz beans (beep), budgie kernels (beep), clear nail lacquer (beep), Aero bar (beep), Aero bar (beep), Aero Bar (beep), Whats this? Indeed! Oh, dear, no price on this box of salt water enemas is there?
S’cuse me while I page for PRICE CHECK for On the Cheap brand condoms.
Thanks Ernie - just give me a holler when you find it.
Oh, no - its no trouble at all, really, this is why we have Ernie. Dearie, you mustn’t worry, this type of thing happens all of the time. All sorts of people need all sorts of things in the world and thats why we at Uncyclopedia Mart believe in tip top customer service.
What was that Ernie? No, you have the wrong item. Excuse me, Ernie's a bit deaf, I’ll have to use the microphone...no microphone? Deary don't you worry, they can hear it in the next store. I SAID: YOU HAVE THE WRONG FUCKING THING. I SAID PRICE CHECK FOR STAY HARD ERECTION CREAM.
There we go, just took a minute. So, do you have any coupons, love? Oh, here he comes now. Oh, thank you Ernie.
Here, what are all of you looking at? Go back to you own business - if the customer wants to buy Ped-O-File Callous Sander what business is it of yours?
You'll have to pardon Ernie, he's a bit of a retard, but you know this economy...we're lucky to have found someone who has enough sense to wash his hands after he picks his nose.
That’ll be 25.11, Vicar. Paper or plastic?
Thank you and have a blessed day.
Good afternoon Madam. Such a sweet lad our Jimmy. Well then, were you able to find what you were looking for today? No? Oh, you'll find cases of penicillin in back in our Jumbo Generic Department. Let just page Ernie and he'll escort you back there...