From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| The information in this article is entirely false.|
For the real information, press ALT-F4.
Pretty Treatment (プリティートリートメント) is the leader of the trinity known as The Pretty Medical Magical Girl Team of the anime and manga series Pretty Medical Antibodies Go! (プリティーメディカル・抗体ゴー！). (They were a group of 5. But they had to kick the two halves of Pretty Cure out of the group because they solved everything on their own.) She, along with Pretty Vaccination and Pretty Placebo, go around solving crimes and defeating the evil, yet humanoid and kind of good-looking alien forces of the planet Retsu Nairu (レツナイル or のとあめりか).
Civilian Name: Sakura Naka (那珂桜)
Name Meaning: “I don’t know. Everybody was named that when I was born.”
Birthday: June 30th
Blood Type: B + (“Teehee, get it?! :D”)
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Blue with silver flecks
Favorite Color: Pink
Favorite Phylum of Bacteria: Aquificae
Favorite Phrase: “Silly baka! Of course I’m Japanese!”
Sakura Naka,(no relation to Yuji Naka) was just an ordinary 14 year old girl. All magical girls start off as ordinary girls. (It’s a law of nature when it comes to anime.) She goes to school, she does enough work to get by, and she flirts with boys and mopes about the one guy that she can’t have. She’s also the girl in the group with blonde hair, making her the leader. (The creator, Rokusaburo Takeuchi (Sailor Moon creator Naoko Takeuchi’s slacker brother), said that this idea came from various English shows about strong independent women. Some of the shows he mentioned were “Charlie’s Angels” and “Busty Women’s Blow Trio 17”.)
Sakura goes to Mugen-Jai Middle School. Mugen-Jai is known for having the highest average of absent students per day, thus making it a source of ridicule all over Japan. High schools don’t want Mugen-Jai students, colleges don’t want them, and companies don’t want them. They are outcasts of Japan’s workaholic society and would probably just spend their weekends playing in an arcade somewhere.
One day, during a particularly nasty flu season, Sakura is forced to stay home from school for a week. After her mother and father chastised her for bringing dishonor to their family and country, they took her to the doctor, who gave her some pills. (The doctor was a Mugen-Jai student. He didn’t go to all of his classes in medical school and never learned that the flu was a virus, and thus immune to inferior antibiotics.)
However, once she returned home, Sakura learned that the bottle of pills was actually alive. The pill bottle introduced himself as Penicil (ペンイシル), servant of Fightingale (ヒテンゲル), the alien Goddess of Medicine and the Infliction of Injury. He told her that Fightingale had chosen her to lead Earth’s defenses against the quickly approaching forces of Retsu Nairu. When Sakura asked why she would pick an ordinary 14 year old girl like her, Penicil told her that Fightingale was fascinated with Earth media, espesically its comic books. So she figured that having pre-teen girls defend the planet would make it “easier to swallow”. Plus, only an idiot would pick someone who obviously wasn’t fit to defend it, like the army. (“They need all of those people? They must be weak.”) He then gave her the First Aid brooch and the rest was history.
“Gorgeous Old Wive’s Relief” (ゴ… Screw this, figure it out yourself.)- The phrase Treatment shouts when she wants to transform. As she says this, she holds her First Aid brooch up in the air. She is also required to put her mask and shoes on first during the first season of the show since the transformation sequence wasn’t perfected yet. (The company that made the show, Super Happy Terrific Animation, was fighting a legal battle with a girl who claimed to be the real life model for Treatment. She didn’t like how the animation showed her chest and butt. The writer who came up with the idea was forced to teach Razor Ramen Hard Gay how to draw as a punishment.)
Therapeutic Crashing- A fancy term for Treatment using Icy Hot on her opponent’s eyes and pushing them into the nearest pile of trash.
Sparkly Sitz- Using water from her First Aid brooch, baking soda, and salt blessed by the Goddess Fightingale, Treatment uses this attack to cure the monsters of those who were transformed by the muscle spasms, pain, and itching of their lower areas. This attack is particularly useful against the monster Hemorrhoido in episode #14.
Soup of Kitchen- In the earlier episodes, this attack is capable of defeating the cold derived monsters in one hit. Later, it is mostly used to weaken or subdue them. The original Japanese attack was “Soup of Chicken”, but the translators working on the manga screwed up. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a chance to fix this mistake since their office was attacked by angry fans and the translators were killed for it. The translation was carried over into the anime. (The company doing the translation had better security. There are currently several online petitions made by fans who are trying to get the comapny to shut down and commit ritual suicide. But they have yet to listen to them.)