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“ha, ha, you got cream on your face”
“Heard the joke about two balloonist and a lawyer? It ends with one balloonist saying that the person was a lawyer, as his answers are correct, but never informative to the actual matter of your question.”
Practical jokes are jokes that aren't really all that funny because they're actually useful. Either people can actually use these jokes and do something with them, or these jokes are too real or true to be funny.
Blonde jokes could also be considered practical jokes. They can also be dumb jokes that nobody gets. Examples:
The practical joke was invented in 198 B.C. by a man named Practicus Lafus, Greek by trade. He started it all by storming into Rome and yelling at Caesar: "Your head is bald and your crown is a bunch of leaves!" He then proceeded to crack up laughing. Legend has it that when they tied him up and threw him into the Mediterranean Sea (his sentence for the evil crime he committed), he was still laughing.
- 198 BC—Practicus Lafus invents the practical joke.
- 184 AD—Zhang Jue declares himself the Great Teacher of the funk group the Way of Peace. Many people called the group gay, so Zhang Jue tried to come up with a joke to make the people of China's jimmies even more rustled. This led to the creation of their spunk group; The Yellow Turbans. The Han Dynasty didn't like the spunk group so they cut them up and ended it. Since then the revival of spunk was scheduled to return when Michael Jackson was born. He was the King of Pop but really had spunk! Zhang Jue's followers then joined The Black Parade.
- 1492 AD—A sailor aboard the ship Pinta named Rodrigo de Triana yells "Land Ho!" at 2 AM in the morning, as a practical joke. It wakes up Christopher Columbus, who locks Rodrigo in the hold and fed him only toast. Charles the Special Needs Kitty is the true spotter of the new world, and spotted it at 4 AM.
- 1776 AD—Benjamin Franklin insists that the turkey be the official bird of the U.S. as a practical joke. When the joke was discovered, however, it was changed promptly to the eagle.
- 1790 AD—Some crazy person that didn't like George Washington told him that his peas had been poisoned, then quickly ran out to where the chickens were scratching around in the dirt below the window where Washington was eating. As soon as Washington threw the peas out the window, the man threw crumbles of rat poison down. The chickens, of course, ate both peas and poison, so they all died. And you always thought that the chickens died from the peas.
- 1865 AD—John Wilkes Booth fires a popgun behind Abraham Lincoln as he watches a play in the Ford Theater. However, some raving lunatic had swapped out the popgun for a real one. Booth did not like this dirty practical joke at all, so he pulled out a knife, and jumped from the balcony to the floor in an attempt at suicide.
- 1898 AD—An angry Mexican celebrates Cinco de Mayo by lighting fireworks and throwing them in the air. However, someone had tied a small paper airplane to it, which changed it's course. The fireworks flew in through an open hatch on the USS Maine. They then flew down into the ammunition magazine and blew up the ship.
- 1914 AD—The notorious Black Hand clan of Serbian practical jokers jump out on an expecting Archduke Franz Ferdinand with unloaded pistols and shout "BANG". Little did they know that the guns were loaded in a separate practical joke by France, and thus resulting in the second most deadly practical joke, accounting for the deaths of millions of soldiers.
- 1917 AD—The German mad scientist, Frankenstein III, made a beaker full of a extremely nauseating gas. He planned to use it to play a practical joke on the division commander when he got back from Mexico from delivering a secret message. It backfired on him, however, when he tripped over his cat, who, by the way, was a direct ancestor of Charles the Special Needs Kitty, and broke the beaker. Even though the practical joke failed, he did (quite by accident) invent the infamous poison gas so famous to World War 1.
- 1929 AD—An escapee from an Insane Asylum runs up and down the streets of Washington, D.C., yelling "The stock market will crash! The stock market will crash!" as a practical joke. And it worked.
- 1944 AD—Smallish rockets meant to be a practical joke on the Canadians from Hitler land in and around London, England. Hitler's comments: "We have the most terrible sorriness for our stupidity in the aiming of the rockets. Next time we will see if bigger rockets do the job."
- 1955 AD—Rosa Parks, a middle-aged black woman in Montgomery, Alabama thought it would be a "laugh riot" if she sat in front of the bus reserved for white people. She gets thrown out of the bus, arrested by the police and taken into custody, but her joke was taken seriously by a black minister Martin Luther King Jr. and that's when he "started it all".
- 1992 AD—Bill Clinton pretends to be running for president as a practical joke, and ends up winning.
- 2001 AD—A few conspirators in the Grand Conspiracy Theory hijack planes as a practical joke. It backfired, however, when they tried to scare the people in New York City and Washington, D.C. by flying too close to some buildings.
- 2004 AD—Saddam Hussein tries playing a practical joke on U.S. soldiers searching a farmhouse in Iraq. He jumped out of a self-dug hole and yelled "BOO!", thinking it would scare the soldiers away. And look at where it got him.
- 2005 AD—A butterfly, trying to play a practical joke on another butterfly, causes a series of massive hurricanes, the first of which was known as Hurricane Katrina.
- 2006 AD—The user Filmcom plays a practical joke by starting this page. Haha.
- 2008 AD—Barack Obama elected the mayor of Homoville.
- 2009 AD—Barack Obama declared himself the "Third Anti-Christ".
- March of 2009 AD—Marilyn Manson declares Gothic protests against Obama
- 2010 AD—We're doomed.
- 2011 AD—Civilization collapses.
- 2012 AD—Megan Stammers and his twice the age lover is sent off to Bordaux for the weekend. They do not return. Her parents cry their eyes out on British TV, and the French say: What if Megan is halfway as daft as her parents? Are we in for a practical joke? We will deport them, and then we will learn what joke that was meant for us.
- 2012 AD—the world ends. THE END?
- 2101 AD—War was beginning.
- 2939 AD—Hitler's reich actually lasts a thousand years.
- 2940 AD—A freshman sends someone a link to a Rick Astley video that actually links to this article.
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