Potism

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“Life's a sack of potatoes? I don't know about that but I could sure do with some vodka.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Potism

Potatoe

Potatoes!!!

Potism is one of the hottest new cults currently sweeping the Caribbean It is commanded by high priest Tathew Mompsett. The tale of its origin is linked to Mompsett's own love of brownish, hard things which tend to sprout. One day, whilst sitting on a pile of the said brownish, hard things; the sky began to pour with salt. The honourable hard thing lover began to release his own salty substance, in lamentation of his own lack of anything to use the salt for. In this manner of contemplation, he realised that we could have all the potatoes in the world, but if we do nothing with them, there will never be any enjoyment. The religion began Mainly in the International School of Port of spain

Potism directly parallels to other world religions. It is similar to Christianity in that someone must be punished, and that person should always be Tathew so we, as potists, can always be ungrateful and scorn him. To all Hindus wishing to convert, reincarnation is to be believed as long as one has enough chips to pay the High priestess Kate Durden, who tunnels through dimensional hyperspace powered on mustard and chips.

Potism is a form of idolatry and believes in the philosophy that life is a sack of potatoes. Devout followers of the religion will eat, sleep and think about potatoes in an attempt to achieve enlightenment to gain acceptance to the inner sanctum of true potato spirituality. Not so devout followers may continue being promiscuous and obscene as they wish, as long as the Members on the Council of Elders get a piece of the action as well.

edit Breakable, Bendable and Otherwise Fryable Laws

  • Initiation as a potist requires actually knowing someone who is a potist. Please see potist personal ads.
  • Whenever a potist sees either another known potist of higher rank, a potato, a bag of chips, a portion of chips n' curry, a bag of pot, a pot of potatoes or other potentially powerful items, one should hug the nearest person. If actual people are not available, the nearest cat/dog/snail/mosquito/oxygen molecule will do. If oxygen is not available, you might as well just revert to your original religion.

edit History

  • 2006- the cult is founded by Tathew Mompsett and the very first temple session is attended by 3 people and a carrot.
  • 2008- It is now a very popular religion as several celebrities have joined. (see Celebrities and Potism)
  • 2011-Potism reaches all time highs,i use that word loosely,when The high priest gets shot in the head with a t-shirt luancher and falls to his death of the burj khalifa his last known word were"doubly rainbow al.............."
  • 2012- Michael Jackson leaves Potsim after alligations of indecent exposure to young potatoes.
  • 2119- Tathew Mompsett is killed in a religious argument with a Turnipist. His funeral is attended by millions of mourners.
  • 2810- Most Potist leave earth on the space ship Potaton in search of the promised land Potatia.

edit Temple

Most potists will attend the potism temple at least once a week. The service involves basic talking and musing about potatoes follwed by the ritual of the divine potatoe. This involves eating a potatoe and drinking Vodka. Vodka is used as it is made from potatoes. The potists believe that they are consuming the body and the blood of a potatoe.


edit Celebrities and Potism

Michael Jackson Was a key member of Potism from 2007 to 2012. He qualified as a potist preist but left the religion after he was accused of exposing himself to sacred underaged potatoes.

George W Bush Joined potism as he thought it was a meeting of the super friends but stayed as he didn't have the brain power to find the door.

Oscar Wilde Joined and became the high preist after Tathew Mompsett's death in 2119.

Samuel L Jackson Joined the religion after he felt scientology and Turnipism wasn't working out.

Jessica Alba Joined the religion after she was brain washed into thinking tall, thin guys with red hair were sexy and married an unknown Scottish person.

Kurk Kurk is the official computer administrator of Potism. He is also the Leading researcher into vodka energy resources. He is more commonly Known as Urethra.

edit See also

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