Portal:Television

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Television portal.

Television
The television is a telecommunication system for broadcasting and receiving propaganda, pornography, and laundry detergent advertisements over long distances. The term has come to refer to all the aspects of television programming and transmission as well. The Russian scientist and part-time chauffeur Picov Andropov is with coining the word "television" in 1900. Early experiments were based around mechanical television, using rotating pie plates, shoe trees, and candles. The Scotsman Ewan McTeagle was an important pioneer in the invention of mechanical television, especially the coin-operated variety.

Electronic television, which was much more practical and successful in the long run, with a better picture, was based on the cathode ray tube. The English inventor Alan Archibald Campbell-Swinton did important work in 1907, as did Boris Rosing, a Russian scientist and part-time midwife, working independently, however American Philo Farnsworth is credited with the first working electronic television system, which he demonstrated by watching continuously between 1928 and 1929, despite the lack of any programs on.

Mechanically scanned television broadcasts began in 1928, and electronically scanned broadcasts began in 1936. Television was initially monochrome and color was introduced in the 1950s, with colour introduced the following year after much demand in the UK. It also used terrestrial broadcasting through ground-based transmitters. Later, cable television via overhead and/or underground wiring and then satellite television were introduced. More recently in the 21st century, television has increasingly moved from analog to digital technology.

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Jonstewart
The Daily ShowA flashy 3D news logo flashes toward you, threatening to blind you with swirling incomprehensible messages, which can only be interpreted by the announcer:

ANNOUNCER: 16:30, 17 April 2008 (UTC)... From Comedy Central's international world news headquarters in New York, New York... This is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart!

Cut to a studio filled with cheering disenfranchised politically-anti-involved teenaged voters surrounding a news desk, at which a Jewish Jack Thompson sits, scrawling unknowable mysteries on a piece of paper. He completes his mystical scroll with a few elaborate scribbles, then turns to the camera

STEWART: WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111!1!!!11!!1!!11 WELCOMETOTHEDAILYSHOW I'm Jon Stewart MAN have we got a show for you tonight. Tonight I'll be interviewing... um... Important Celebrity.

Audience cheers wildly again

STEWART: It's gonna be a great show, you're gonna love it, it's just your type, honestly. Anyway, our first story of the day: Republican Pundit does something silly in the gravitas-laden arena of politics... with a twist!

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Saving Private Elmo
SavingPrivateElmo

This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one.

Image credit: Sonje

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Main Page • If your mom hadn't let you watch so much television, you'd find Wikipedia more entertaining than Uncyclopedia?


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Drblack
Dr. Blackadder is one of only two surviving Timelords from the War of the Daleks, left to roam all of space, time and dimensions to create cunning plans and schemes to rob the aristocrisy of socks and silverware. Helped by his faithful companion S. Baldrick they travel the world in the TARVIS (Turnips And Relative Vegetables In Space) cunningly disguising themselves in period costume. Of course, as with all fugitives with the might of all time and space at their fingertips there are a number of enemy beings and adversaries out there out to stop them.

Dr. Blackadder's methods of keeping below the spotlight are cunning (as cunning as a cunning sandwich with a double helping of cunning), choosing historical points in time where his activities would be difficult, if not impossible, to be traced. However, there are a small number of times where his presense in history has been spotted.

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Television
Television

History of televisionGolden Age of TelevisionMechanical televisionElectronic televisionSocial aspects of television

Inventors and pioneers: John Logie Baird • Alan Blumlein • Walter Bruch • Alan Archibald Campbell-Swinton • Allen B. DuMont • Philo Taylor Farnsworth • Charles Francis Jenkins • Boris Grabovsky • Paul Gottlieb Nipkow • Constantin Perskyi • Boris Rosing • David Sarnoff • Kálmán Tihanyi • Vladimir Zworykin

Technology:Digital televisionLiquid crystal display televisionLarge-screen television technology

Terms:Composite monitorHDTVLiquid crystal display televisionPALPicture-in-picturePay-per-viewPlasma displayNICAMNTSCSECAM

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