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Jonstewart
The Daily ShowA flashy 3D news logo flashes toward you, threatening to blind you with swirling incomprehensible messages, which can only be interpreted by the announcer:

ANNOUNCER: 16:30, 17 April 2008 (UTC)... From Comedy Central's international world news headquarters in New York, New York... This is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart!

Cut to a studio filled with cheering disenfranchised politically-anti-involved teenaged voters surrounding a news desk, at which a Jewish Jack Thompson sits, scrawling unknowable mysteries on a piece of paper. He completes his mystical scroll with a few elaborate scribbles, then turns to the camera

STEWART: WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111!1!!!11!!1!!11 WELCOMETOTHEDAILYSHOW I'm Jon Stewart MAN have we got a show for you tonight. Tonight I'll be interviewing... um... Important Celebrity.

Audience cheers wildly again

STEWART: It's gonna be a great show, you're gonna love it, it's just your type, honestly. Anyway, our first story of the day: Republican Pundit does something silly in the gravitas-laden arena of politics... with a twist!

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