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A common technique is to use a Unicorn Lure™, available from UniTech©...

It's not easy to kill a unicorn. From far away, and even from up close, unicorns are real pretty n' shit. But if you know unicorns like I don't, you would have a real problem with em. FUCA has been recruiting people to our cause for a century with a list of complaints we have against unicorns, a book of recipes, sex positions, a map of unicorn hideouts, and a list of reasons to hunt unicorns in the first place.

The most important reason to want to bring down one of these creatures is for the horn. There are a lot of different theories on what the horn is filled with, but I can tell you right now, it's gotta be worth something. If you tear the horn off the unicorn's head and sprinkle its contents all over the place, you'll be able to fly. This is because those horns are chock fulla fairy dust.…

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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand. Nominate stuff Image credit: SunnyChow Image archive

Society in the News

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Brubeck has been a journalist at the Arizona Daily Star for four years...

The House, Somewhere. The man who lives in the house amazed onlookers today when, at about the time the sun came up, he woke up.

This life-changing event officially marked the end of a very boring period of time when it was dark and the man was asleep and there was nothing to do. It was horrible. I didn't think it was ever going to end.

But it did!!!!!

The man got out of bed and stood up, and I just about had a heart attack from excitement. I was so excited, I knocked him over!…

Quote of the Week

Main Page “I've got painful raisins, it's some thunder on my chest.”

~ John Tesh on purple nurples

Did you know...

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• …that violence is the answer?

• …that being dumped is just being picked up in reverse?
• …that circular logic is good because I read it in an article on circular logic?
• …that in Russia, reversals reverse reversions?
• …that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
• …that necromancy is just another way of getting a date, and that you shouldn't judge me?
• …that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
• …that letting other people do it is