Portal:Society

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Couch-potato
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.

Explore the wondifferous world you live in!
Metaphorically speaking, of course.



Society is an abstract thought of people and culture as an entity, thinking and acting alike. It is the collective goal of humans which is always mistaken to have been achieved, thus subjecting its value and usage to degradation.
High-Society-Suspender-and-Stocking-zoom

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.

All life on this planet is the intellectual property of Time-Life Magazine. All rights reserved.
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Sexybeach
Can you fantasize it yet?

There’s nothing I enjoy more than long walks on the beach. Some of my other hobbies include watching the sunset from a picturesque grassy knoll, indulging in fine wine with a scrumptious foie gras dinner, and candlelight conversations on French film. But I think you'll agree that nothing is quite as sexy as me taking a long walk on the beach.

Can you Imagine it? Me with my salon-fresh sandy blonde hair flowing in the breeze (courtesy of Tina; you're a miracle worker, honey!) and a sporty J.Crew sweater tied casually around my waist, lobbing a stray Frisbee back at some snot nosed little urchin. You'll see me on the coast looking pensively out at the sea, reflecting back on all of the endearing little things I did that week. For example, the way I mistook a head of lettuce for a cabbage at the supermarket! Oops! That was a little mix-up I suavely turned to my advantage with a lettuce pescallini casserole that wowed a casual party of forty people that night at my penthouse. And that was but one of the adorable little crimes I committed that night.…

Archive Article credit: So So (more…)
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Ctfo

Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

Nominate stuff Image credit: RadicalX Image archive
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Society in the News

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DTV switch1
What the hell is wrong with this damn thing!?

Lancaster, PA -- My name is Wilford Pissbritches and I'm 74 years old. I've got a bone to pick with you long-haired hippy kids. I've had this TV for as long as I can remember, and now, the goddamned thing won't work worth shit! All I get is some snowy crap, these little white dots and speckles all over this black background. The hell's wrong with this thing?

I am a widowed retired 'Nam veteran and McDonald's cashier, and the shit I go through ain't nothing compared to this hippy-happy nonsense. I tried bringing in my TV to Uncle Charlie's Salvage Emporium, only to find out that old Charlie had been dead for eight years and his grandson owns the store now. He's some spiky-haired punk named Fizz Chesterfield. He told me I need some fancy whoozits and whatzits, and I didn't know what in Sam Hill he was jawin' about.…

Archive Article credit: PF4Eva (more…)
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Quote of the Week

Main Page I've got painful raisins, it's some thunder on my chest.

~ John Tesh on purple nurples
(more…)
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Did you know...

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  • …that being dumped is just being picked up in reverse?
Question Mark 2
  • …that in Russia, reversals reverse reversions?
  • …that every single person is unique, except you?
  • …that every single person is unique, except you?
  • …that shopping without a shopping list is like editing the "Did You Know" list without knowing what the fuck you're doing?
  • …that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
  • …that shopping without a shopping list is like editing the "Did You Know" list without knowing what the fuck you're doing?
  • …that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
…Add to the list   (more…)
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Topics in Society


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