Portal:Society

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Couch-potato
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.

Explore the wondifferous world you live in!
Metaphorically speaking, of course.



Society is an abstract thought of people and culture as an entity, thinking and acting alike. It is the collective goal of humans which is always mistaken to have been achieved, thus subjecting its value and usage to degradation.
High-Society-Suspender-and-Stocking-zoom

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.

All life on this planet is the intellectual property of Time-Life Magazine. All rights reserved.
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Universe
This is the universe. You are beside the bright dot on the right, near the bottom. No, your other right. Your other bottom, too.

Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course, we all are!

In fact, people have attempted to expand their minds and become a part of the bigger picture ever since the monkey lost its tail and grunted to itself, "Damn, now I'm all self aware and shit."

"But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask.

How, indeed. I honestly haven't a clue. Luckily for you, people far smarter than me have spent their entire lives trying to force their grasp to equal, if not exceed, their reach. Some have even succeeded, or at least that's what they tell me. But how do I know, really? They could just be messing with my head as part of their greedy plan to sucker me into shelling out $14.95 for a copy of their self-help book; one of many coincidentally and conveniently located in the Self-Help section of the bookstore.…

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more…)
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Ctfo

Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

Nominate stuff Image credit: RadicalX Image archive
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Society in the News

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General Raam Christmas
Evil Santa's true form

Kentucky's National Prison, Kentucky--On this day, a fake Santa Clause was captured after a failed kidnap attempt. But this was no ordinary Santa Fraud. He's is not the man who shot at a Christmas party, but even worse; Evil Santa Clause.

Unlike the good old Saint Nick we all know and love, this guy was totally different. Santa Clause is pure good, jolly, and friendly, while Evil Santa Clause was pure evil, horrifying, and hostile. While Santa comes on Christmas only, Evil Santa comes anytime, anywere, anyday, rain or shine. He takes many forms, but his true form is very evil and sinister.…

Archive Article credit: Iwillkillyou333 (more…)
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Quote of the Week

Main Page Freud would mumble on about it, then I would have to remind him - puff puff give!

~ Oscar Wilde on the subconscious
(more…)
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Did you know...

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Question Mark 2
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Topics in Society


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