Portal:Society
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 | Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.
Explore the wondifferous world you live in! |
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vaction abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christian males. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
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| Since the invention of the toilet, philosophers have theorised on and contemplated the unanswerable questions in life. |
Since the birth of time, there have existed many questions which man has struggled to find the meaning for. Queries which Philosophers through the ages have endeavoured to search for the answer to. This is conclusive proof that there remain certain aspects of our world that mankind (or even womankind, for that matter, though it may come as a bit of a surprise) cannot begin to comprehend. We, as mere mortals have struggled to cope with the vastness of existence.
Even The Theory of everything has its flaws: it assumes people are naturally naive and liable to believe everything they read. However, nothing should be taken at face value, as those that destroyed all of their electrical appliances for fear of suffering at the hands of the Millennium Bug will testify.
They have remained unanswered. Until now. Contained on this page are the answers to some of those unanswerable questions in life, condensed into an Uncyclopedia article for ease of digestion.…
| Archive | Article credit: Hindleyite | (more…) |
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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand.
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| Cockpunching will not be featured. However, if you are interested, this is how you would do it. |
NEW YORK, NY -- Today, Central Park Zoo in New York City announced that it would be abandoning the concept of the "petting zoo" and replacing it with a new "punching zoo," in which small children will be allowed to punch, and otherwise abuse, small animals.
The move will likely revolutionize the petting zoo business, which has been steadily declining in recent years. The CEO of central park zoo, T.J. Abram, explains, "Nobody really cared about petting zoos anymore. I mean, seriously, why would any child want to be gentle and loving to a small animal?…
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“Freud would mumble on about it, then I would have to remind him - puff puff give!”
- ~ Oscar Wilde on the subconscious
- …that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
- …that letting other people do it is
- …that being dumped is just being picked up in reverse?
- …that shopping without a shopping list is like editing the "Did You Know" list without knowing what the fuck you're doing?
- …that every single person is unique, except you?
- …that a threesome is fun even if you reproduce asexually? Don't ask me how I know.
- …that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
- …that fight club is a total cop out of the highest magnitude?
| …Add to the list | (more…) |
HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary | Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You Stand
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