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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Pregnancy portal.

The home of all sick abortion jokes, retarded mpreg jokes, and creepy pregnancy erotica pregnancy related articles on Uncyclopedia.


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Abortionist Gloves

So you want to set up a backstreet abortion clinic? Perhaps you flunked medical school and need cash; perhaps you are an entrepreneur who has spotted a niche market; perhaps you live in one of those crazy countries where abortion is illegal; or perhaps you're just a guy with a set of forceps that you don't know what to do with. Whatever the reason, with the rise of religious fundamentalism, the time has never been better to set yourself up as an illegal abortionist. This book, drawing from my 30 years of experience in the field of illegal child-killing, is a complete guide to the art of illegal backstreet abortion.

Choosing a location is one of the most important choices an illegal abortionist can make. It is estimated that 30% of backstreet abortion clinics fail because of a poorly chosen premises. A good premises should be somewhere out of the way and should have a sturdy table or chair on which to perform the abortions, a drain for blood, a good escape route for when the authorities come around and a nice quiet place for disposing of dead fetuses. A sink for washing hands and tools is optional. (more...)


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DE diagram

Why abortion is FUN


Did you know that:

  • ...Uterus or GTFO! is an official Uncyclopedia policy?
  • ...Abortion is FUN?
  • ...Pregnancy is a nine month period in a woman's life when she feels compelled to devour people whole, alive, and without chewing. The cause is a natural one, but is usually triggered after Sexual intercourse?

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