Portal:Religion

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Latest revision as of 04:17, April 23, 2012

Holy-potato
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.



Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.

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Dake-Bonoism

Dake-posse

Dake-Bonoism is a modern synthesis of the pentecostal teachings of the late Rev. Finis Jennings Dake and lyrical writings of Bono (lead singer for the popular Irish band U2). Dake-Bonoism is controversial to many because it combines the worlds of rock music and fundagelical Christianity. Many in both camps see these as incompatible with each other.

edit Sources of Inspiration

Dake-Bonoists accept the plenary inspiration of the Protestant, King James Version Bible as authoritative and complete for matters of doctrine and discipline. They also accept two other primary sources of inspiration:

  • the song lyrics penned by Bono for U2's studio albums.

The movement views the Dake and Bono materials as harmonizing in a way that can only be described as Providential. The combination of the two inspired sources provides an unbeatable combination of theology, poetry, wisdom, and stylishness.


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If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.


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That was Zen, this is Tao.

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.
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