Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.



Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.

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Creationist Views on Australia

Ornithorhynchidae-00
“It exists. I've been there.”
~ Richard Dawkins on Australia
“Richard Dawkins has no more been to Australia than he has Narnia. In fact, if Dawkins did go to Narnia he would most probably be eaten by Aslan, who is, of course, a representation of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
~ Creationist on Richard Dawkins' supposed visit to Australia
“Jesus is not a lion.”
~ Clarification from Creationist
“But he could be if he wanted to.”
~ Further clarification from Creationist

Creation science contends that as Australia is never mentioned in any section of the Bible, it doesn't actually exist. “There's a stark choice,” states ChristianScience.net: “You either believe in the teachings of our Lord Jesus or you believe there is a place called Australia!”

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Jesu rifle
Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.


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It means every reaction is followed by an action.

~ Alfred E. Neuman on Karma.
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