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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.


To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.


Highlighted Article

If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys!

Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...

Why don't you start a Band?

Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)…

Archive Article credit: Braydie (more…)

Music in the News


Standish, ME, USA (USS) - Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up".

One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!"

Archive Article credit: The Woodburninator (more…)

Featured Image

50 Mozart

Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)

Nominate stuff Image credit: Marinos Image archive

Featured Artist

Sergei Rachmaninoff, no doubt stoned out of his mind.

Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff was a famed Russian piano composer, whose primary goal in life was to make piano players really fucking pissed off by making his music as unplayable as humanly possible. He claimed to be a pianist himself[citation needed], but all he must have played was some easy shit like "Chopsticks" or "Mary had a Little Lamb". Seriously, if he had any actual knowledge of playing piano, he would have arranged his music in a way that was actually readable, as opposed to the messes he composed. Either that or he was on shrooms when he wrote them. Or both.…

Archive Article credit: Thekillerfroggy (more…)

Lyric of the Week

I'm a lesbian who uses his wand in a very special way butt butt butt.

~ Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical

Featured UnTunes


I Like Cats

I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)

I'm what you might call an animal lover

Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees

But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me

For cats they are the sweetest, you see.


I like cats with mustard

I like cats with chili cheese

Cat sausages, cat fricassee

Won't you try some cat chili?

I think that cats are great to eat…

Archive Musical credit: Todd Lyons (more…)

Recent Articles in Music


Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap

Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles
   v  d  e
The Beatles
John Lennon | Sir Paul McCartney | Sir Pete Best | George Harrison | Ringo Starr | The Fifth Beatle | Sir Yoko Ono
Thank Thank You (1962) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell! (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | The White Album (1968) | Yellow Sub Machine (1969) | Crabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970)
Related articles
Beatlefication | Beatlemania | The Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | Paul is dead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
Notable songs
"Back in the U.S.S.R." | "Hey Jude" | "I Am the Walrus" | "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" | "Why?:Don't we do it in the road?" |
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