Portal:Music
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.
By far the most musical portal you will ever find. |
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To understand music, we must first understand sound: the central ingredient of music. Sound is also an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.
I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music.
| The Skin Flute has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours. |
The skin flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute is a reedless wind instrument that produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge called "blowing". The size and shape of a skin flute is both wide spread and varied, from the 3 1/2" "Pee Wee" through to the related hybrid Pink Oboe some of which have been known to top 14 inches, with substantial girth.
The Skin Flute is traditionally not a difficult instrument to master, although some might argue that it is an acquired taste, egged on by a deep desire to play with it and lave attention on it. Unlike the woodwind flute, it is not necessary to perfect an embouchure to play the skin flute, making the skin flute far easier to master than an orchestral flute - gag reflex excepted. As it only has one single hole, it is unlike its modern brethern; however should one encounter a skin flute with hole(s) along its sides it is best left alone. Careful manipulation with the fingers, tongue or lips can provide a variety of responses, allowing a master skin flautist to reach a crescendo or ease into a more subdued passage.
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| Sergei Rachmaninoff, no doubt stoned out of his mind. |
Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff was a famed Russian piano composer, whose primary goal in life was to make piano players really fucking pissed off by making his music as unplayable as humanly possible. He claimed to be a pianist himself[citation needed], but all he must have played was some easy shit like "Chopsticks" or "Mary had a Little Lamb". Seriously, if he had any actual knowledge of playing piano, he would have arranged his music in a way that was actually readable, as opposed to the messes he composed. Either that or he was on shrooms when he wrote them. Or both.
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“I'm a wizard who uses his wand in a very special way.”
- ~ Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
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| PLAY>MP3 |
So, after I broke up with Jenna, I was thinking, you know, just because we're broken up, that doesn't mean we shouldn't share our deepest feelings with each other, right? Chicks love that emotional shit.
So I wrote her this song about, you know, how much I miss her and how she makes me feel. I bet she'll be calling me any minute asking me to take her back.
Still Hurting
Well I'm still hurting so I'd be happy if you were hurting too.
Is it so much to ask that someone you love
be in constant unrelenting pain?
And I hope you stay up nights thinkin' of me
or maybe just lose your keys
So I'm waiting by the phone for you to call
and tell me, girl, that you misplaced your keys.
| Archive | Musical credit: Hyperbole | (more ) |
HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | I Am the Walrus | UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer | UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food | HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | HowTo: make a metal song | Emo Rap | UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs | UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log
| Classical | Country | Genres of Music | Jazz |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hip Hop / Rap | Popular / R&B | Rock (General) | Other Musical Articles |
| The Beatles |
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| John Lennon | Paul McCartney | George Harrison | Ringo Starr | The Fifth Beatle | Yoko Ono |
| Albums |
| Let It Be (1953) | Thank Thank You (1962) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell! (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The White Album (1968) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | Hate (2006) |
| Related articles |
| Beatlefication | Beatlemania | Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | Paul is dead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time |
| Notable Songs |
| Abbey Road | Back in the U.S.S.R. | Hey Jude | I Am the Walrus | Why?:Don't we do it in the road? | Yellow Submarine |


