[a shot of a scuba diver from behind, swimming towards something in the distance; a shot from ahead; a shot from below; credits begin over electronic/industrial intro music; a shot from far below looking up; credits continue for some time; scuba diver makes his way to the surface of the water; a shot of him surfacing; the diver gets out of the water…]
COLONEL: Alright Snake, let’s go over the basics one more time. This is an Uncyclopedia article. To read it, use your EYES. Move them left-to-right, and use your BRAIN to internally recognize the words. The words are graphic representations of phonetic sounds that make up something called "language". As you read the article in this manner, you will eventually run out of words to read on the page. Once this happens, you will have to SCROLL.
...A Grue (Gruesomicius ravenousi) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things.