Let’s say you’re a street fighter (or a boxer, or an LAPD cop, or even a senator of some backwards state). One day you are training or doing something else out of boredom when all of a sudden something comes in the mail. It's a nifty little invitation letter in an envelope of high-grade glossy paper with a spiffy-looking stamp addressed to you, meaning it has to be for real. And it is for real, my friend: You, a worthless nobody, have been summoned to a fighting tournament to fight and be given the chance to win whatever it is your heart desires, be it fame, glory, money, or swimming in a pool full of steaming hot spaghetti and tapioca, because you know it feels so right.
But then, questions may arise in your head: How do I go about participating in a fighting tournament? Who will I face? What will I do? Am I hungry? These questions and more will fill your mind to the point of wussing out and just going home to have TV dinners instead.
But don’t despair. If you know where your fists and feet are located, and if your battle cry is sufficiently obnoxious, nothing will stop you. (more...)