Not since Pot v. Kettle has the Supreme Court presided over a more important case than Raccoon Tail v. Super Mario Cape. It held in its hands the rights of furries, superheroes, video game fanatics, Italians, airline travel, Furbies, giant anthropomorphic turtles, and bunnies that eat Dell computers. The pressure was intense. Sandra Day O'Connor is said to have fainted three times, and Antonin Scalia lost his lunch in the closing days. Guy Harris was disconsolate and took some time out to go surfing.
Beginning in Japan, civil rights issues abounded with the release of Super Mario World. Two separate camps emerged in the populace - the purists who favoured the Raccoon Tail for flight and those who preferred the new cape enhancement. These different sides clashed in small skirmishes at first, but the violence soon escalated into cataclysmic proportions. The streets of Tokyo were covered in dead racoon-suited and caped bodies alike. The death toll was said to be in the bagazillions. Obviously, something had to be done, and there was only one imaginary country that could handle it: Canada. (more...)