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Shopping list

A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples.

The lists are carefully compiled in a secret code known only to one half of the couple, the objective being to confuse, baffle, and otherwise annoy the other half to the point of submission. The ultimate aim is to get the other half to admit to being an abject failure, and to concede intellectual superiority in the relationship indefinitely, or at least until next Tuesday.

To this end, most shopping lists are written on tiny scraps of paper to give the illusion of 20 items or less, but closer inspection reveals that most shopping lists in fact contain well over 100 items, concealed using many cunning techniques, including:

  • Implied in the description of another item (e.g. sprouts might imply the need for air freshener)
  • Alluded to obliquely (e.g. "cleaning stuff" means washing up liquid, a sponge, a new mop and dilute sulphuric acid)
  • Disguised as another item (e.g. beer actually refers to Budweiser)

(more...)
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Uncyclo-tan lost The Game, and so it did you.
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Did you know that

...Pie charts are visual graphs meant to express quantities relative to each other. They are available in many flavors, and are especially popular during the holiday season. They are used far more frequently than their relatively new cousin, the Sphere Chart, and are widely considered to be the most informative variety of pastry available.

...His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the ultimate truth in the universe.

...An ancient and dangerous sport from which modern day curling is derived, the Kitten hurling battle originated in the steamy jungles of what is now Quebec as a mating ritual of the Aztecs.

...A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples.

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Tights

Zelda: The Quest for Tights, Oscar Wilde's favorite Zelda game

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And You Gotta Help Us...

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