Pool
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Pool is a game played by people who frequent drinking establishments (A.K.A. Pubs) and who happen to have less talent than their cousins - the snooker player.
The game of pool is played on a table similar to a snooker table but a lot smaller! There are usually 7 yellow balls and 7 red balls and 1 black and 1 white. Although in some pubs you will find an extra red with the word black written on it instead of an actual black ball. There is another variation where balls of different colours, with stripes and dots are used - but most people get confused with this and it should be avoided at all cost.
Each player uses a stick to poke the balls around the table in the hope that some of them might fall into little holes called pockets. The stick has a blunt end and a pointy end. The stick has a bit of leather stuck on to the pointy end. This is furiously rubbed (ha!) with green or blue chalk between each shot. This ritual is believed to ward off evil spirits who try to make the player miss a ball. Unfortunately the rubbing of the chalk doesn't always work, and the evil spirits often cause the balls to jump into the air and often off the table completely, to the amusement of all observers. It has even been known for a ball to land in an observers pint of beer, causing further problems for the player.
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[edit] Origin of Pool
Unlike its aquatic brother (see swimming pool), the game of Pool was invented in 1902 to confuse the Irish. The green felt that is traditionally found on pool tables is reminiscent of the lush green field of Ireland. The number of balls was the average number of children in an Irish family, 12. Originally the game was played by rolling the white ball with the wrist, but that was soon replaced with the advent of the pool cue. The cue was used mainly as a lethal weapon, still in use to this day in modern combat (see video games).
[edit] Trick Shots
There are a few people who will hit the ball so badly that it will do unexpected things such as curve around another ball. When this happens most players will pretend that they meant it and this is called a trick shot. Whenever the player tries to reproduce the same shot it usually results in him making an ass of himself. Of course this should be encouraged at all times, especially if you gamble. The added pressure will almost certainly mean laughter for you.
One unwritten rule of Pool is that whenever you pull off a "fluke" shot, such as described above, you MUST always act like you intended to do it. This rule is paramount to being considered "good at pool".
[edit] Game Variants
There are numerous different variants of pool. Most involve how many free shots you get if you sink the white ball, your opponents ball. Basically depending on who your opponent is, or your skill level, or location will determine if special game variants will be used. Examples of which include:
[edit] "Pub Rules"
- If you sink the white ball at any point, your opponent gets a free shot.
- If the white ball is resting against the edge of the table, you may opt to move it slightly away from it to allow easier shooting.
- NOT JUMP SHOTS - you cannot do one, live with it. If you tear the felt you will be beaten with the cues until everyone has become tired.
[edit] "Chick Rules"
- Women get to "re-do" bad shots. This means that they generally suck so badly at sports that they believed they are entitled to have special rules just for them.
- Women that have large boobs and low cut tops are allowed (and encouraged) to bend over in front of males taking their shots in an attempt to perform a "psyche-out" (see BASEketball). While they believe this is to their benefit, it is of course only for the enjoyment of men everywhere.
[edit] Classic Pool Rules
The following rules are considered classic pool rules:
- The person who breaks must be able to break. Failure to do so will result in being considered a n00b
- You must place the white ball on one of the marked lines somewhere on the table.
- You must drink whilst playing, heavily.
Here is a pool ball.
[edit] Game Play
A technique employed by many players, now recognized internationally, is referred to as "a Blair". This is where one player allows his/her opposition to pot nearly all their balls, generally leaving one or two. At this point the player who has all of his/her balls on the table now has a relatively clear table and thus can pot all their balls easily. Up to this point they should have been strategically positioning their balls around the pockets. Allowing for an easy win after potting all their coloured balls. Hopefully by this stage in the game the black should be in a convenient position for the player to make a simple pot. One may hear in a Pool hall players saying, "He's going to do a Blair" or "I'm doing a Blair". Many are unsure of the origins of the expression "to do a Blair" or "to Blair". Some feel that the origins lie in the historical pool game between Tony Blair and George Bush on Friday, May 26, 2006[1] or perhaps Tony Blair's pro-tobacco-pool association[2]. However, most believe that Blair Bowman coined the phrase when he invented the technique in September 2008 in the North East of Scotland in the Hillhead area of Aberdeen.
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