Politics of the United Kingdom

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Politics of the United Kingdom
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Constitution of the UK
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The United Kingdom has some of the most complicated politics in the World. This is mainly because the British are so good at having loud, racist, drunken rants on trains or on buses that receive odd looks from passengers nearby. There are many recognised power groups in the UK. The main power group is the Constitutional Monarchy governing over a democratic oligarchy known as the Government of the United Kingdom. This has the most public support however other power groups include the IRA which as a large support in Northern Ireland, the official Government of Sealand, the trade unions which certainly do not have Ed Miliband's support and the Church of England.

edit Political Views of the UK

edit Lower Middle Class Liberal

These people usually have the views of atheists or agnostics and are liberal and centrist. They lightly support the Green Party or the Liberal Democrats and pretend that they are Church of England to everyone else. Every other class hates them for being too normal. They originated from the South-East of England from the higher-paid peasants and merchants and could have only done these professions as most are either Jewish or members of the Grand Conspiracy. Lower middle class people enjoy reading the Guardian or the Times.

edit Working Class Socialist

The core of Britain's industrial power (if only it still existed). Known as the unemployed oiks, these people originate from Yorkshire, Lancashire, Scotland, Cumbria, Wales and all the other places "up North." They enjoy complaining and always complain about the quality of life when sleeping in a pig sty such as Hull and immigrants stealing their jobs. Unlike their ancestors these people no longer have jobs because the politicians forgot to give them any. The only common thing they share with their ancestors is their smell, which is unchanged since medieval times. They support the Labour Party or the BNP and don't give a damn about religion. They enjoy reading the Sun, the Star and the Yorkshire Communist Party Manifesto leaflet.

edit Upper Class Tory

These members of the political and social society of the UK originate from third sons of Lords and have no titles despite speaking with a silver spoon in their mouth. They are disgusted at Lords who call them commoners and really want nothing to do with anyone below them. To try and isolate themselves from the rest of society they become politicians and all meet in the House of Commons to conspire against the House of Lords. They support the Conservative party or UKIP and read the Telegraph or Daily Mail. They are usually fundamentalist in their religious beliefs.

edit Monster Raving Loony

Monster Raving Loony's are, unlike in most countries, a respected and integral part of modern society. Under their now-deceased, eternal leader, Screaming Lord Sutch they wish to ban Mondays and produce a 99p coin. Monster Raving Loony's are the fastest growing political power in the United Kingdom and have been every since mental hospitals became too over-crowded and some of the patients were let loose. The UKIP party branched away from the Monster Raving Loony Party creating the "Swiveled-Eyed Loon Faction." They read the Metro upside down and in a literal manner.

edit Politics and Culture

In Britain, politics takes up a huge part of friendly conversation and discussion. It is usually discussed at pubs, in a drunken manner and while swearing out the window at passing Chinese people. The British are very open about what political party or group they support and will not give a damn whether a friend supports an opposing party - this is mainly to prevent the English Civil War 2 (or Culloden for Scotland).

Comedy has been heavily influenced by politics with TV programmes such as "Mock the Weak" focusing on the harrasment of plebs on benefits at the lower end of society by so-called "Champagne Socialists."

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