Politically Correct
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“That dress makes you look like an Afghan whore.”
“I'd rather be right than politically correct.”
Political correctness is a form of constrained writing. It is slightly more popular than other forms of constrained writing, such as palindromes, omitting letter "e" or "your mom" poetry. The most common definition is that it is a form of writing where political incorrectness also known as the truth is outlawed. Political incorrectness is extremely offensive to minorities, gays, disabled people, and women. The reason for this is because these people are wussies and can't handle the truth. A bunch of gutless conservative politicians, (predominantly Republicans), invented Political Correctness (PC for short) in order to win votes and protect people's wussy feelings.
Political correctness is also defined as the act of altering the wording of a statement that refers to a certain group of people so that they feel better about themselves; for example foreigners and overweight people. However, over time, society has decided that the truth is rude and unacceptable, so we are made to sugar-coat reality.
Political correctness is generally considered a taboo trait, but the Daily Mail, shown to the right (the extreme right), has supported the practice of political correctness for many years now.
The movement for political correctness has spent many years researching the most neutral way to address a group of people, without stepping on any toes. Phrases such as "souls", "brothers and sisters", "carbon-based lifeforms", "sentient protein chains", "spatial distinctivenesses", "not-self" and "friends" have all been found insensitive. originally the word "Love" was the only universally acceptable form of communication, but it was found this could be used to insult an individual by expressing it to everyone BUT them, those wishing to conform to current standards of acceptability, should follow the guidelines of shut up you fucking nazi
Political Incorrectness activists frown on the term 'politically incorrect', seeing it as politically correct in the same way they see pretty much everything they don't like. It was therefore universally agreed that they shall henceforth be known as 'cunts'.
Contents |
Examples
| Politically Incorrect | Politically Correct |
|---|---|
| Bad | Morally Exotic |
| Man | Oppressor |
| Woman | Vaginal-Americans |
| Pimp-mobile | Culturally responsive transport |
| Useless, Lazy, health-budget-draining, Fat people | Full-figured |
| Dirty minger | Hygenically challenged |
| Ugly | Aesthetically challenged |
| Poofter | Heterosexually challanged |
| Midgets | Vertically challenged |
| Fat bastards | Horizontally excessive |
| Fat midget bastards | Bidimensionally challenged |
| Useless old people | Biologically Advanced |
| Bum | Financially Challenged |
| Dick van Dyke | Penis van Lesbian |
| Half-homo | Metrosexual |
| Ho | Sex worker |
| Slut | Promiscuous Woman |
| Prostitute | Financially compensated reproductive organ stimulation assistant |
| Cunt | Vagina (or Politician) |
| Player | Male sex worker |
| Homeless tramp | Locationally challenged |
| Hell | Virginia |
| Sodom | San Francisco |
| Retard | Intellectually special |
| Jesus Christ/Jesus/Christ | Shhh! |
| Food | |
| Cattle Ranch | Moo-schwitz-Burger-nau |
| Crunchy Nut Cornflakes | Crunchy Testicle Cornflakes |
| Deep-fried shit factory | McDonald's |
| Root beer | Sexual intercourse beer |
| Peanuts | Urine testicles |
| Disability | |
| Arrogant assholes | Neurotypical syndrome |
| Idiot | Michael Moore |
| Religious Wingnut | Jerry Falwell |
| Race | |
| Black | Pigmentally diverse |
| Coons | Koories |
| Leprechauns | Irish |
| Jew | Jew |
| Colored People | People Of Color |
| Stupid call centre pricks | Indians |
| Jew | Jew |
| Criminals | Lawfully Challenged |
| Boongs | Indigenous Australians |
| Whingeing fops | Tories |
| White trash | white peoples' waste |
| Rednecks | Toby Keith |
| Niggers | Niggas |
| Whingeing poms | Complaining Britons |
| Imperialists | Russians |
| Politics | |
| Slaughter of innocent people | Collateral damage |
| Hearts and Minds of the people | The stuff they don't show you on CNN |
| Torture | Extraordinary rendition |
| War on Terror | Intrusion of Muslims' rights |
| Morons | Socialists, Mormons |
| Abortion | Near Life Experience |
| Anti-choice | Pro-life |
| Pro-baby killing | Pro-choice |
| Electoral Fraud | Voting Irregularities |
| Pussies | Democrats |
| Psychopaths | Republicans |
| Civilized People | Modern Christians |
| Uncivilized People | Modern Muslims |
| Phrases | |
| "Baa baa black sheep" | "Baa baa ethnically-diverse sheep" |
| "Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs" | "Snow Caucasian And The Seven Vertically Challenged People" |
| "Every Tom, Dick and Harry" | "Every Tom, Penis and Harry" |
| "Pot calling the kettle black" | "Mariguana calling the kettle pigmentally different" |
| "Your momma's so fat..." | "Your Home Engineer is so full-figured..." |
| "Black coffee" | "Rainbow coffee" |
| "I think political correctness has gone mad" | "I am a bigot" |
| "Rusty and dented heap" | "Metallurgically challenged late model automobile" |
| "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" | "Sex worker, sex worker, sex worker! Merry Festive Period, if you are not a Christian we respect your life choices. But you do get presents..." |
| "Dot or Feather?" | "Indian-American or American Indian?" |
| Religion | |
| Terrorists | Muslims |
| The Nativity Scene | The holiday home deprived family |
| Bible bashers | Christians |
| Repressed Homosexuals | Evangelicals |
| Jew | Jew (it's a race and a religion!) |
| Religious nuts | People of faith |
| Cult | Scientologist |
| Christmas | Non-specific wintry gathertime in which people spend horrendous ammounts of money because 'its the spirit' of things |
| People | |
| Dennis Prager | Sanity impaired |
| Muhammad Ali | Anything that will not be of offense to Prophet Muhammad and a teddy bear |
| Jack Thomson | Asshole |
List of People who are Politically Incorrect
- Jon Stewart
- Rick Mercer
- Borat
- Stephen Colbert
- Don Cherry
- Mel Gibson
- Ralph Klein
- George Bush
- Michael Richards
- Richard Dawkins (Richard Dawkins has his own brand of political correctness - "religious correctness")
- Sam Harris (ditto)
- Dave Chappelle
- Carlos Mencia
- Jade Goody
- Boris Johnson
- Prince Phillip
Example of Politically correct nursery rhyme
Baa baa black sheep:
Baa baa multicoloured sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes person of no particular gender,
Yes person of no particular gender,
Three bags full, in no way implying that the three is the number of colors that should be present on a flag at any one time, or discriminating against third world countries.
One for the master who does not dictate but runs a fair and equal democracy,
One for the dame who could by all means be a man in drag,
And one for the child of no particular height, weight, ethnic origin or gender who resides along a lane, which is not a row which indicates poor living standards and discriminating against anything third world, but a lane of unspecified size that houses people in an unspecified manner.
