Etiquette
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ello' there poppit *snort* i'm ear to inform ya all bout' this ear Etiquette shinatigance, you see this umm.. Etiquetteness is also known by me and the boys down at de' ol' wateren hole as rich foke talkin, ya see its some made up code that governs the expectations of social behavior *spits*. Its this some bloomin unwritten code that tells ya whats normal or not Generally these ear' bloody rule of this ear' etiquette vary depending apon who dis da' biggest fucker in sa bar at da' time.
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[edit] Etiquette for dem' Solicitor types
we dont take kindly to strangers round' ear, *fart* so to prevent your pretty arse being beatin off I've included some important rules for when you may be encountering foreign cultures as such.
[edit] American Etiquette
- Greet friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect
- Refrain from insults and prying curiosity
- Offer hospitality equally and oppositely to your guests
- Wear clothing suited to the occasion
- Avoid disturbing others with loud music or unnecessary noise. However, this rule does not apply when in ones car, on any form of public transport or in ones own home
- Arrive promptly when expected
- Generally be nice to other people
- Adjust balls with the left hand while appearing to be wiping your hands on your napkin
- When aiming a gun at a rival gang member, place both hands on the weapon
[edit] Japanese Etiquette
- Commit seppuku upon even the slightest breach of any other rule of etiquette
- Note: there are too many remaining rules of Japanese Etiquette to possibily enumerate them within the space of the internet
[edit] Nicaraguan Etiquette
- When stabbing a bellboy it is considered rude to stab in an upward motion.
[edit] Columbian Etiquette
- When stabbing any member of a hotel's staff, always stab in an upward motion.
[edit] Brazillian Etiquette
- If it is not Carnival, do not wear tassles on your breasts.
[edit] British Etiquette
- You must accept any and all cups of tea offered.
- A queue is final. No pushing. No shoving. No sly shuffling. It's the law.
- It is considered rude to ask how much someone earns. You are simply expected to guess. Their tone of voice, car and house are usually an indicator.
- Don't mention the war.
[edit] Mexican Etiquette
- Apparently it is not acceptable to assume that everything can be translated into Spanish by adding "el" at the beginning or "o" to the end of all words.
[edit] some sure fire ways to fuck with this ear' "Etiquette"
if you really somthin' and ya' wanna' screw with shit dat' ya' shouldint ears' some great tips:
- take out your testicles in public
- sell your Children
- steal your grandmothers blood
- dont wear socks
- wear too many socks
- wear one sock
- on your foot
- take a poo in your garden
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