From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Official languages||A series of grunts and moans|
|National Anthem||Poleland Anthem Remix (Liechtenstein edition) Gold Album|
|Largest City||Wall Sall|
|Official Religion||The Flying Spaghetti Monster|
|Major Exports||Bird Flu, Small Pox, STD's, Cake, Sewerage, Sugar Sachets|
|Major Imports||Corpses, Hollywood Films, Ducks, Poppy seeds, Yellow Carpet, Rubiks Cubes|
|President||A Yellow Fin Tuna|
|Favourite Song||So long, and thanks for all the fish!|
|Motto||Jak można uważać, że to jakiś biegun ziemi (PL) ?!|
Poleland is governed by a repubic, it is officially called the Repubic of Poleland. Poleland borders Lebanon, Russia, Bolivia and Middle Earth. Just opposite Poleland in the North West is the Pacific Ocean which connects to the Mediterranean Sea. The language of Poleland is a series of grunts and moans, which modern scientists claim to be the most advanced and complex language ever observed in the human race.
edit HistoryPoleland was founded in 1205AD by Australian explorer Christopher Columbos. The name "Poleland", was generated by his Computer. 103 years later after Poleland was established and everyone had their own bicycle[HELL YEA], there was a great threat brewing in the east. The evil armies of Mordor we're preparing to attack their sacred state. The dark lord "Sauron" (who was named the dark lord because of a rare skin condition called porphyria), this in turn he sheiled himself away from the Sun. Their armies attacked Poleland, as the Poles ran away into Eygpt, [Insert Fact Here] happen and [Insert Event Here] happen and as the Poles [Insert Revolt Here] took back [Insert Property Here] and Poleland was saved.
Nothing much happen in Poleland for hundreds of years, people went about spreading the Black Death, inventing the time train and inventing the infamous cake. Aswell during this time Poleland did such things as helping Austria fight off the globaly annoying 'Otto da man Empire'.
In 1939 Poleland had invited Hitler over for a party, punch and pie was provided by the chef of Poleland. Hitler thought it would be fun to play a game of Scrabble, (of course Hitler was outraged over the President of Poleland's word. Hitler complained that there was no such word, but the Poles protested that it is a rare metallic, naturally occurring element). The party ended catastrophically... Hitler spilt his punch.) from that point Hitler declared war on Europe for their incident of spilling punch. In the end Poleland made a deal, first one to win 18 games of Rock, Scissors, Paper keeps Poleland.
edit Jewish People of Poleland
Dont get me started
edit PoliticsAs a repubic, Poleland leaves 30% of votes up to 21 specially selected and morally corrected apes. They chose amongst the party on who gets top seat in the house. 70% of the population must vote through a traditional method of picking names from a hat. Poleland has strict rules on voting, as they say "Vote now, or i shall hang your family and burn your house down and servely rape you of all that you are"! Of course knowing Poleland, they're being serious. In the past 45years of being a repubic, only a few thousand have endured the fine.
Every new president must of course must swear a oath... "I swear, that I shall raise taxes by 20%, cut budgets on public health and education, allow corruption to easily flow, let secret stargate operations run in underground complexes, allow secret areas to keep crashed UFO's and to encourage the eventuation of global warming".
Poleland is a very famous country for some of its exports. It exports to major countries like Holland and America where it is very popular. A very large manufaction in Poleland is sewerage, where everyday (well, almost everyday) someone helps to contribute. In the end the sewerage is exported to countries like Russia and Chile.