Poison

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
For roses with thorns, see Poison (band).
Maybe you were looking for Poison Ivy.

KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.


I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison!!!

~ Alice Cooper on Poison
Skull and crossbones: POISON!!!!!!
A cool, refreshing soda. The most obvious way to poison yourself.
Bread: A hidden source of poison.

Poison is a name given to substances in order to protect its makers from liability. The substances may or may not be truly dangerous. But if the makers do not call it poison, they can get sued, and they would lose an awful lot of money. So by calling something poison, they are saving their souls.

[edit] Things we call poison

There are many thing we call poison. These include:

[edit] Poison in food

Poison is found in all our food. Everything we eat contains poison. Yes. When you eat, you are poisoning yourself.

Here are some of the poisons you find in your food:

  • Insecticide: From the moment those crops grow, a crop duster is lurking above and poison is in business.
  • Beef: You never know what goes into that meat if you don't process it yourself. Being a vegetarian is not much safer either.
  • Cucumbers: Don't go near them. They are waxed!!!!!!
  • Lemons: They are not really yellow. They are GREEN on the tree. They are artificially colored!!!!!
  • Dried fruits: What are they preserved with? SULFUR DIOXIDE!!!!!!!!!
  • Potato chips: Deep fried. Soaked in salt. What's next.
  • Big waist: Forget about that Big Gulp from 7-11. Found in your cereal, your bread, your jam. And don't you dare go near that ice cream. Also found in ketchup, but if you are having those french fries or that burger it comes with, the damage should have been done a long time ago.
  • Margarine: Is it really better than butter?
  • Soup: Do you really like that Campbell's? Is soup really good food?




   v  d  e
Mommy's Medicine Cabinet

Adderall | Aspirin | Beavers | Caffeine | Care Bear Heroin | Cheerios | Cocaine | Codeine | Coffee | Cracked Corn | Crystal Meth | Dexedrine | HeadOn | High fructose corn syrup | Kittens | LSD | Medicine | Mountain Dew | Opium | Poison | Prednisone |Prozac | Ritalin | Roofies | Side effects | The World's Most Powerful Drug | Tylenol | Valium | Viagra

Personal tools
projects