Poetry Free For All
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edit Poetry Free For Al
Excuse em moi. Due to uncyclopedia's most sensible new policy of corrective criticism, this article has been renamed: "Poetry Free For All." "Free for Al" is somewhat confusing to the majority of readers, thus, we have squashed it. Moving on.
Poetry Free For Al is a poems website (not a perms website) set up for the likes of me and you. "Who else would be interested?" is one of their mottos, along with their running theme of distressing anyone with any self-worth or self esteem. Please check the image for proof.
Me and You. Was historically the first poem submitted to the site, it uses special poetry techniques and versing, and is remarked upon as one of the greatest poems of our (as in mine and your's) time. Written in 1997, approximately one year after the birth of the national lottery, there was this poem:
As such, the powers of the internet reveled in their work, for all time this website would be a demonstration that the internet could be twisted for pure prose, to the pure soul and only he who knows. They put a bitch in charge. We're talking about a real dog. Poetic justice. Hah!
Woof Woof, said people. One by one, as they joined the forums in joyful song. They vowed to protect the internet from people who take the internet seriously, instead making it awash with prose like Wario picking his nose.
(This entry requires immediate revision. Writing in prose format is not acceptable for an informative entry).
Currently, PFFA employs a facebook inspired "10 commandments" system, to appear constitutional. Throughout their website, there are anarchistic references, by in large due to the fact that there is no true ruler or monarch. That would imply ego, and they want none of that. Anti-ego = anarchy, but also strict rules and regulations. According to Sandy Redmond: "Ego and anarchy cannot co-exist, which is why only those with an ego perceive that we have rules. Whereas we just call them sensibilities and sophistications. There really is no reason that we can't all get along and enjoy ourselves. Ideas about so called 'negative' criticism and 'assholism' (not alcoholism - is this mic working correctly)... besides we don't allow drunks on our site, they're not fit for humane society.. um anyway, I was saying.. yes.. these ideas are just how the ego interprets them. Nothing more. We are truly anarchistic. When I tell you that you are being too confrontational, I am being truly anarchistic, not forgetting all my irony in writing up the rules. Irony is the grip of anarchy too, remember. How ironic it is that we have 1001 rules and still total anarchy. There are always rules, you know, no government, and nothing arbitrary in those rules. That is the way websites should be conducted. Take my first rule for example: Poetry Free for all is not the same thing as Free for all. This is an example of a non-arbitrary rule. And further, how about: for every 3 poems you submit, you must submit 40 critical comments consisting of 100 lines each. None of this is arbitrary, which is why we operate as a successful anarchistic antichristic anachronistic democracy with a large stifling demographic."
edit Sections of the Website
- Erotomania central.
"Believing that someone loves you is no crime, but you must exercise your love in strict poetic ways. Destroy the ego and you'll never feel guilt for jerking off. Sexual chocolate baby."
- Manic Criticism bay.
"You can criticize someone's head off here. No joke. They write a poem and you shit all over them, which is fine because we're not egotistical, we're just highly qualified to promote criticism. It is not extraneous criticism, it just a deliberately brutal theme we have going on here. Enjoy. Only professionals allowed."
- Normal Criticism, if you may.
"New users may try their luck at normal criticism, with hints of manic criticism too. This is where you practice becoming a butthole, and putting down shitty emos for their shitty poetry. You are normal, they are not. Get with the program, poetry is life's craft for the normal who rule the roost, be gone with a boring emo ego maggot boost. In other words, if you're bad at poetry, you're a shit head and we can patronize you forever more. It's normal. It's reality. Understand this. Join to be toughened up and ready for a life of poetry."
- Random bollocks.
Here, you can enjoy the many fruitful conversations we have to offer. We don't discriminate, so everyone must follow the rules strictly. Also, a very important rule (Check sexy rules topic) "Do not reply to comments unless you are a moderator."
- Song Land.
edit Awards and Misceallaneous
- In 2005, a poetic programmer won the award for best poetic programming contribution of the year. The language is now used by game developers all over the world and it is known as Poe Poe +.
- In 2004, a rabies victim posted poetry on the website and was immediately rejected because of his ego. This led to a national court case in the United States Of America, unfortnately, the trial abruptly ended due to health complications. The website, as a result, won an award for Best Discrimination act of the year, for allowing the person to sign up for the site in the first place. And it was unfortunate that the website couldn't win the national court case.
Much criticism has been not known to exist for the Poetry Free For All group. Stephen Fry commented on how he frequents those forums just to prove that he is a great intellect. Meanwhile, he assists the panel of judges in the Steven Fry comedy show. He says that it is only natural for a fine nosed poet and play wright, with such might as himself, "to visit a brilliant vessel that is so exquisite, for the greatest examples of literary genius and scorn across the globe."
In the year 2000, Rupert Murdoch commented on the site, praising it for its intolerance and tight rules and regulations. "Poetry now has a new standard," he announced on christmas eve. "This offers me and my editors a lucrative opportunity to write prose, and it raises awareness for prose. Now we can begin to report worldwide news using new formats to convince people that they can accept many wonders of life, in its many forms! Worldwide news. I say world wise news! See what I did there! Slogans hooray!"
Slogans indeed. The original slogan for Poetry Free For All, was "We got it all, poetry free for all" Nobody criticized that for 10 years, until they finally changed it to "Vile and mean, proud and obscene, poetry's dream."
According to the original owner of the site, Sandy Redmond, "It was just a play on words. We tried to make it sound catchy and special. We threw in some poems here and there that are trendy, and a couple of hardcore ones, it was all for good measure. People think that we're very professional, on the whole, and that's because we fish out traitors and we understand that poetry isn't all about ego. I mean, what is the point in boasting about your life with a knife. Emo poetry, I mean. It's so small, who cares about these little kids on the internet getting upset over NOTHING. And I mean nothing. On our site, you have to work for your privileges. The reason is because we want to promote people to magazines, Rupert Murdoch, Sony Computer entertainment, etc. We can't stand a non-professional environment, which is why we are brutal and vile. We even have a song section of the website, so there's something for everyone. And what's more is: everyone expects to be punished at some point in their lives. No exceptions. If someone greets you with silence, live in it. Breath it in. Thank them for it. That is all."