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The Ramadan Plaza Hotel in the Little Mecca neighborhood of San Diego, California.
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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Tom Waits

Yesterday's Featured Article - Tom Waits

Chin-kid

Ladles and Generalmen... Welcome to the Moonset Boulevard Jazz Lounge. What's going down, Brown? Give me the scoop, Betty Boop. Whadd'ya drink, Jar Jar Binks? I'm a here to tell you a little story; about a real hip-cat that went by the name of Tom Waits. Hey Joey, play the nice people some bass while I talk. That's right kid, take that bassline for a walk.

Now... Who is this Tom Waits cat anyhow? Well, you know what they say about piano players. I'd repeat it now but, you know, there are ladies present. Also I forgot exactly how it went. But come in out the cold and I'll tell you all about him, God knows it's colder than a prostitute's knees in the rain out there.

Tom was, and I guess, still is, a singer. But the thing about him was his distinctive voice. Some say it sounded like it was soaked in a vat of Bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with a car. Others say he sounded like Satan with laryngitis, singing on a broken karaoke machine in a pirate bar. Me? I always thought he sounded like that which he was; an old drunk who couldn't hold a note. That don't sound as fancy as the other comparisons, but maybe that's why I ain't a music critic.

...in a seedy Los Angeles pizza joint on Christmas morning. The waitress who delivered him wore rhinestone glasses with the little pearl thing clipped on her sweater. She laid him down in a leather booth seat, marked with a crude heart which told all who sat down that PB loved JC, and served black coffee to the mulato priest who was sitting there. (more...)

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Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!!

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

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Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

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BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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