Plurk

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“i jUsT tOoK oNe lAsT loOk aT mY rAzOr cOLLeCtioN 2dAy. i wOnDeR wHiCH oNe sHoULd i chOose?”
~ Plurk user on a typical Plurk status update
“My God, a monstrosity! This is even worse than Twitter!”
~ Typical Plurk user's mother on Plurk
Plurk
Wasting time and money in all of its glory, surpassing the US Army by more than 150%. Its life-sucking abilities are demonstrated through its very imaginative logo of a headless elephant, whom most members look like (big and able to stomp you to the ground).

Plurk is a so-called social networking site which is actually just a big rip off of Twitter. Inhabiting this site are people from Taiwan and Indonesia, and westernised teenagers for them to become a 'fan' of. Unlike Twitter it is some kind of asshole of a website, using a scale called "Karma" it judges your activity and only gives you smilies and other editing options if you sit at your computer and use it for so long that your brain dissolves and runs through your ears and kills you.

History

Plurk was established when the world decided that Twitter just wasn't cool enough, and that the internet didn't have enough lame stupid status updating sites as it was. So then a few timelines and karmas and gizmos were thrown together and just like that, Plurk was born.

Users of Plurk

Emogirl
Average Plurk user.

Plurk is known for having a very diverse database of users, all which are from Prussia. Those who join from other countries are most probably Prussian immigrants.

  • Fangirl - the average Plurk fangirl is usually in the stages of being in high school or college, craves about masking their hair full of annoying bangs, and pretending that Edward Cullen is their boyfriend. Their interests include Twilight, Paramore, Lady Gaga, SMS, and chain mail. The Fangirl poses as a teenage girl in the typical Myspace "camera-overhead-pointing-at-your-ugly-mug" shot, with dyed hair, oversized sunglasses, glitter graphics, and lousy quotes copied from some lame emo's site. Has basic Photoshop knowledge and convulsively increases the brightness and contrast in profile picture in order to depict the possession of white skin. The Fangirl's Plurkian life depends on her karma. Common posts in Plurk include informing others that the Fangirl has read the Twilight saga for the 9001th time, listening to Lady Gaga's latest noise album, and hating their parents.
  • Pedophile - the average MySpace pedophile, who came to Plurk in search of German jailbaits because he got a hard-on for Germans. Poses as a Fangirl.
  • Person with a life - composes of primarily -0.000000000000001 of the Plurk population.

What you can do in Plurk

Typing monkey
There are plenty of things to do in Plurk, such as updating other people with nonsense, which is pretty similar to Twitter.
  • Be awesome.
  • Post about how you've finished reading the Twilight saga when you don't even understand any part of it except the part that Edward was glittering like a fairy.
  • Being awesome to other people.
  • Post about how you hate your parents and how you would enjoy killing them.
  • Be awesome even more.
  • Agree to lies such as you being the most awesome person in the world and that Lady Gaga does not have a penis.
  • Being awesome to other people even more.
  • Post about how much you would like to kill yourself.
  • Post nonsensical quotes about love and hate.
  • Do something useful Be awesome.

Average timeline of Average Plurk user

IamBella143 timeline

4:24 AM IamBella143 says w00t i jus done reading twilight!11 edward is so sexy and i dont even care about shcool l8er! =]]

6:23 AM IamBella143 says holy sh!t! i late for shcool! DX

8:45 AM IamBella143 says yEs i'M plurking! good thing the shcOol n3rd brought his laptop XDD !11!

8:50 AM IamBella143 quotes ,"love is as imPortant as pooping, or shit i don't know, teenage girls just copy this and paste it somewhere else who cares."'.

1:23 AM IamBella143 says did not eat lUnch today, wanted to keep slim!1

3:32 AM IamBella143 says Mr winkler is GAY!!!111 he took my cOPy of new moon and replACEd it with some gay BoOk!

4:21 AM IamBella143 says fIinaLly shcool is over!11! time 2 play farmville!11

See Also

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