Playstation 2

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“PS DOUBLE.”

~ Chadwarden on PS2

“Oh, Playstation 2's are so last season...”

~ Oscar Wilde on PS2

“GayRapetion 2. Live in your world. Get raped in ours”

~ Phony on PS2

Playstation 2 (Japanese: ゲイステーション2 English: The Devil) represents the first stage of the fallof a total overcooked hotdog to the forefront of the gaming console industry. It has reappeared a few years ago in its slimmer form, most likely because it went on a diet.

Contents 1 The Birth of the PS2 2 The on button 3 Things a PS2 is good for 4 How to start a game on the PS2 5 Hidden Meanings 6 The Great Playstation Massascre 1885 7 The Participation in the Next-Gen Console War 8 See also

[edit] The Birth of the PS2

The first Playstation 2 was hatched from an egg conceived by Mecha Playzilla (following its rape of a DVD-player production line), and was raised in the ways of evil and brain-consumption by Ken Kutaragi. The result was that the Playstation 2 became a very resentful and malicious console, only barely pacified by allowing it to stand upright, rather than horizontal with things piled on top of it.

[edit] The on button

The on button is probably the most complex feature in the PlayStation 2, best approached with a sharp knife, if at all.

It can do four things:

• TURN IT ON
• TURN IT OFF
• MAKE WAFFLES
• RAPE AND KILL YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY

[edit] Things a PS2 is good for

• Dropping it off a building
• Put a PS1 game in there and not take in note that you could just put it in the PS1
• Sending it to Chuck Norris to be killed from the face of the earth
• Buy 1000 PS2's and sell them on ebay to buy a PS3, only to know that you already have a paperweight you don't need a $600 one
• Using it as a bullet shield when in Iraq

[edit] How to start a game on the PS2

• Insert the disc. Remove the disc. Rape. Repeat.
• Observe "disc read error" on your screen.
• throw out your console and buy another one to feed Ken Kutaragi's drug habit.
• repeat.
• Pull your pants down and start getting arse raped like an Xbox.

Playstation 2 consoles, according to media hype at time of launch:

Will produce graphics indistinguishable from movies. DVD media causes low loading times and fast read speeds.

Has so much processing power, you'll never have slowdown or frame-skip unless the CPU is not routinly changed due to the wear of so many bits running thought the pipes.

Sony reliability, inexpensive for the value.

Doubles as a missile defence guidance system when not in use for gaming. Will not defend you against rifle-fired bullets. Instead, use the bulletproof X-BOX for that.

With the arrival of Microsoft into the videogame industry after their ill-planned attempt to purchase Nintendo, a full-scale war began to develop between major developers.

The ensuing struggle sees the release of the masterpieces Halo and Halo 2, but also finalises the shift in the video-game triumvirate from Nintendo, Sega, and Sony, to Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft. Sega are still crying about this, but they sacrificed themselves to stop the rampage of Mecha Playzilla, which is some consolation.

Ultimately, the conflict between these three gaming companies is really a metaphor for human existence. Director Ang Lee has said that he did not so much wish to make a video-game movie, but rather Sense and Sensibility that had video games in it. He probably failed in this regard, but the way that Sony copes with its struggles is an inspiration to all of us. And really, is not Nintendo the true hero (after Sega, who sacrificed themselves for our sins)? When giant multi-nationals attempt to push in on Nintendo's market, he fights back for the hearts and hive mind of a bunch of anti-social dorks that only kids from the nasty part of the inner city could really understand. But aren't we all really just a bunch of kids from the nasty part of the inner city?

[edit] Hidden Meanings

If you reverse the first 2 letters of the words Sony Playstation you get Pony Slaystation. Obviously an evil ploy by the sony corporation to force us to slay ponies, possibly by utilising the enormity and immense weight of their new playstation 3 to crush the skulls of said ponies. Sources believe that the facination with the unruly slaughter of innocent creatures started with an owie in pre-school. People are urged not to buy the horrible slaying stations and for safe keeping the RSPCA has recalled hundreds of these devices for hundreds of tests, probably testing on Human Nature.

[edit] The Great Playstation Massascre 1885

On 1885 the sony head chief (Bill clintons alter ego, "The clitanot0r") Angered the red power ranger, Promptly the great ps2 massacre began.It lasted exactly 5 seconds and 5000000 of the clitanat0rs "Gaystations" Were killed in this short war after the red power ranger brought out his bagute of death.

[edit] The Participation in the Next-Gen Console War

The PS2 has grown completely impatient seeing its brother, the Xbox 360 and Wii. It now takes drastic measures into participating the Next-Gen Console Wars. Proving to the Wii that the PS2 has truckloads of sales, the three seventh-gen consoles laughed at it because the PS2 was forbidden to participate in it. However, many fans proclaimed to let the PS2 be in it. Now, the PS2 is currently dead last, while its brother, PS3, gained a upper hand and jumped into first.

[edit] See also

• UnNews:Greenpeace calls for greener consoles
• Playstation 3
• PlayStation 360
• Crack
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